Yes, it's been a very long time since I posted. And so much has happened, too. But this post isn't about that... it's about January 23rd... my wife's birthday.
Sheryl, I love you so much. I enjoy exploring the world and life with you. I am a much better man for being your husband - you have no idea.
You always make me glad to come home. The look in your eyes when you see me makes me feel selfish - because I want to keep seeing that look.
There are people that I really care about in this world - and then there is you. I love the thought of growing old with you, and sharing all of our experiences together. My heart overflows with love -
Every time I think of you.
Happy birthday, sweetheart. I love you very much!
Miles to Go
The mind behind "Cancerboy" has something to say...
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Sheryl and I agree not to recognize Hallmark holidaze. In fact, we basically only give each other cards on birthdays and anniversary.
Sheryl's not getting a card for our anniversary tomorrow. And I'm likely not getting one, either.
Why not? Because I forgot to get her one. And regardless of whether Sheryl sent me one, I still don't have a key to our mailbox (cripes, I hope no one sent us cheese in the mail!).
Sometimes it's easy to forget how hard it is to achieve your dreams. Things have been really stressful for us while relocating to Las Vegas. Mostly due to the fact that Sheryl is in Michigan and I am in Nevada.
And though we talk once or twice a day, and miss each other like crazy, we still MISS EACH OTHER LIKE CRAZY.
Now, before it sounds like I'm whining, let me re-iterate that she and I both recognize - WE ARE REALIZING OUR DREAMS!
And we are incredibly grateful.
Grateful only scrapes the tip of the iceberg when it comes to how I feel with Sheryl as my wife, friend, fellow adventurer, verbal boxer, and love of my life.
Every day and every night, I miss her. I simply miss her being around. Just knowing that she's nearby makes me feel better. And even when we need some time apart, I still know that it's temporary.
Temporary - right now - appears to be a very long time.
On our 6th anniversary, Sheryl, I love you more than ever. You have made me a man that I like - a man that loves and is loved.
2000 miles is only distance between our bodies. You are never out of my thoughts or my heart.
I love you. Happy anniversary!
Sheryl's not getting a card for our anniversary tomorrow. And I'm likely not getting one, either.
Why not? Because I forgot to get her one. And regardless of whether Sheryl sent me one, I still don't have a key to our mailbox (cripes, I hope no one sent us cheese in the mail!).
Sometimes it's easy to forget how hard it is to achieve your dreams. Things have been really stressful for us while relocating to Las Vegas. Mostly due to the fact that Sheryl is in Michigan and I am in Nevada.
And though we talk once or twice a day, and miss each other like crazy, we still MISS EACH OTHER LIKE CRAZY.
Now, before it sounds like I'm whining, let me re-iterate that she and I both recognize - WE ARE REALIZING OUR DREAMS!
And we are incredibly grateful.
Grateful only scrapes the tip of the iceberg when it comes to how I feel with Sheryl as my wife, friend, fellow adventurer, verbal boxer, and love of my life.
Every day and every night, I miss her. I simply miss her being around. Just knowing that she's nearby makes me feel better. And even when we need some time apart, I still know that it's temporary.
Temporary - right now - appears to be a very long time.
On our 6th anniversary, Sheryl, I love you more than ever. You have made me a man that I like - a man that loves and is loved.
2000 miles is only distance between our bodies. You are never out of my thoughts or my heart.
I love you. Happy anniversary!
Saturday, March 09, 2013
I'm so proud of my wife - after years of schooling, she finally completed her Master's degree.
It wasn't easy, and the fact that she stuck to her guns despite being unsure if this degree was the right thing for her, shows what she is made of.
We have accomplished a lot since we met nearly 8 years ago, and I think it's really cool how much we stick by each other.
I told Sheryl today that it's almost like we are standing at the edge of a cliff with hang gliders on our backs with the whole world spread before us - as awesome as things have been for us, they are about to get awesome-r!
I am so excited to take this next step together. I am impressed and inspired by my wife, and there's no one I'd rather have beside me at this point of our lives!
You are a great and strong person, Sheryl. Congratulations on your effort, and thank you for sharing your spirit with me!
It wasn't easy, and the fact that she stuck to her guns despite being unsure if this degree was the right thing for her, shows what she is made of.
We have accomplished a lot since we met nearly 8 years ago, and I think it's really cool how much we stick by each other.
I told Sheryl today that it's almost like we are standing at the edge of a cliff with hang gliders on our backs with the whole world spread before us - as awesome as things have been for us, they are about to get awesome-r!
I am so excited to take this next step together. I am impressed and inspired by my wife, and there's no one I'd rather have beside me at this point of our lives!
You are a great and strong person, Sheryl. Congratulations on your effort, and thank you for sharing your spirit with me!
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Sublime Mathematics
At times throughout any given day, my mind wanders.
During times of stress, I think of calm.
I think of you.
When I am happy, I look for your smile of concurrence -
Whether it's in person, or in my mind.
I think of you.
You amaze me in everything you do -
How gracious you are,
How giving you are,
How loving you are.
I love those things about you.
I love that we laugh at anything and everything.
I love that we can sit in silence and it's the perfect moment for each of us.
I love that we are adventurous and never stop learning.
When we are apart and I think of you,
My heart swells when I envision your smile...
It melts when I picture the love in your eyes when you look at me.
Together, we've celebrated 7 birthdays.
And I love you more each day, and every year.
With this year being the biggest so far!
I hope you get everything you wish for
Times 10.
I love you so much, Sheryl.
Happy birthday, sweetheart.
During times of stress, I think of calm.
I think of you.
When I am happy, I look for your smile of concurrence -
Whether it's in person, or in my mind.
I think of you.
You amaze me in everything you do -
How gracious you are,
How giving you are,
How loving you are.
I love those things about you.
I love that we laugh at anything and everything.
I love that we can sit in silence and it's the perfect moment for each of us.
I love that we are adventurous and never stop learning.
When we are apart and I think of you,
My heart swells when I envision your smile...
It melts when I picture the love in your eyes when you look at me.
Together, we've celebrated 7 birthdays.
And I love you more each day, and every year.
With this year being the biggest so far!
I hope you get everything you wish for
Times 10.
I love you so much, Sheryl.
Happy birthday, sweetheart.
Friday, January 18, 2013
To Livestrong or not to Livestrong... my point of view
I know there are people awaiting/anticipating my take on
Lance Armstrong. I’ve been weighing my thoughts, holding off until I saw all of
Oprah’s interview before saying anything.
So here are my thoughts:
First, above anything, Lance Armstrong is a human being, and
is as fallible (whether he likes it or not) as you and me.
Next, I want to make it explicitly clear that I admire Lance
Armstrong for what he has done for the cancer community. He single-handedly
brought cancer to the forefront of many discussions. Regardless of how or why
he did it, one thing stands true – he raised awareness and a whole lot of money
for the cancer community.
As a cancer survivor, I can thank Lance Armstrong for giving
me something to focus on in the summer of 2002 that was NOT my cancer struggle.
Having been single and alone that summer, I am grateful that I was able to
watch Lance struggle to eke out another Tour de France victory. It gave me hope
that I could accomplish great things yet in my life. Sweating chemicals while
lying flat on my back, I drew strength imagining the day I could ride my bike
again.
I’ve said it before… before Lance was diagnosed with cancer…
I thought he was an asshole. It was not until 1999 when he won his first Tour
did I change my mind. The unfolding of the doping stories, however, remind me
why I used to think Lance was an asshole – his brash, unflinching attitude, and
cockiness is once again coming to light.
But what about doping? What is my take on that? It may
surprise some of you, but I understand why he doped. AND… I do not blame him
for doping. Doping has been inherent in cycling for years… maybe forever. The
1998 Tour de France was my first recognition that the sport was dirty. The entire
Festina team was kicked off the Tour, and many others were kicked out as well.
In the years that followed, cycling “tried to clean up its
act”. If nothing else, doping was now visible by the public.
In the last five or so years, many riders from the 1990s
have admitted to doping. They have been banned, some of their honors have been
removed, etc…
If we at recent Tour de France history, we have the
following Tour winners:
Bradley Wiggins (2012), Cadel Evans (2011), Andy Schleck
(2010), Alberto Contador (2007, 2009), Carlos Sastre (2008), Oscar Pereiro
(2006), Lance Armstrong (1999-2005), Marco Pantani (1998), Jan Ullrich (1997), and
Bjarne Riis (1996).
Of those, Alberto Contador received a 2 year ban, and lost
his 2010 title (which was given to Schleck). Oscar Pereiro received his title
because the uncanny winner, Floyd Landis, was busted for doping. Lance just
admitted to doping. Marco Pantani is dead from a cocaine overdose. Jan Ullrich
was banned from cycling for doping. Bjarne Riis admitted doping.
Doping has been rampant in the sport. In Lance’s interview,
he said doping was like getting air in your tires, water in your bottles… it
was what you did. I understand that. To compete, you had to dope. Right or
wrong, that’s the fact.
I think where Lance went so wrong was by denying it so
vehemently, and being so vengeful towards those who tried telling the truth.
The man is ruthless. That is his personality. That is the asshole part of him.
If Lance is truly trying to mend his ways, then kudos to him.
It’s going to be a long, painful road.
The fact remains that maybe we all need to realize that the
man is human after all. He may actually be someone we don’t like. He took us
all for a ride, and we went along with him. Many of us suspended our belief in
reality, and we need to accept that.
Was it right to dope? Did Lance cheat? Like he said in his
interview – he didn’t think so. He felt it put him on an even playing field.
Cheating is only cheating if it gives you an unfair advantage. As we keep learning,
and will continue to learn, if 190 out of 209 riders dope, are the dopers
cheating?
I like to think that under the same circumstances, I would
avoid doping. For me, the greatest risk is risk to my health. If I knew
something was bad for me, I’d hope I would steer clear of it. But who knows for
sure?
The other thing that I like to remind myself of is that
regardless of who doped or not, the Tour de France is still a race of 2,200
miles in 21 days with only 2 days off in between. Nearly two hundred hours in
the saddle, and you still have to avoid crashes, animals, fans, trains, cars,
and did I mention crashes? To do that, and win 7 years in a row is quite a feat
– doping or not.
You and I will never likely perform such a feat one time in
our lives.
Lance bashing will become the new Tiger Woods bashing. We
will get over it, and Lance will get over it, and through it, and hopefully
become a better man because of it.
I will not bash Lance. At one of the lowest moments of my
life, Lance gave me hope. He gave me courage to Livestrong. And he gave me
tools of survivorship. Armed with these items, I worked my way through
treatment and survivor’s guilt. I learned a lot about me, and stopped fighting
myself. I became a better man, and learned how to give back. I allowed myself
to love and be loved.
Everyone has flaws, and like it or not, Lance Armstrong may
actually be doing a bigger good by admitting he doped. Maybe this will go a
long way to clean up the sport. But more importantly, his kids, and failed
relationships will be stepping stones to how he is ultimately remembered.
I am reminded of the 1996 Tour de France, when Lance was on
the Motorola team, and Lance’s teammate Fabio Casartelli crashed and died on a
descent in the mountains. The following day, Lance took the stage win and
gestured to the skies in Fabio’s memory. In 2001, the Tour took the peloton
past Fabio’s monument. Lance won the stage, and gestured exactly as he had done
5 years prior.
I think it’s time for Lance – who has rubbed elbows with
some of the greatest… Bernard Hinault, Eddy Mercxx, and “Big Mig” Indurain… to
ask himself how he wants to be remembered.
I pray that he finds how to be remembered as a good, kind,
influential human being.
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