ANXIETY

Do you - or did you - ever have a friend or family member who always made you feel a little dread every time you saw them?

I realized today that I have one of those people in my life.

The only reason this person is in my life is because I very possibly might not be here if not for him. And I think I love him.

I'm OBVIOUSLY talking about my oncologist.

This morning, I went to see Doc P, and I swear to god, I break into a sweat when he examines me.

The good news is that everything is good - just as we expect them to be!

The bad news is...

Hah! There is no bad news! Huzzah!

This year, I've decided to make an effort to be more gracious. And believe me, I am EXTREMELY grateful that my amazing wife and I are healthy. I pray every night that this can be so we can share many happy healthy years together.

So yes, Doc P, despite the mad love I feel towards you, I am still often deathly afraid to see you. As I told you today (true story!): You are one of my good problems.

My friends, live strong. Live well. And many blessings upon you all.

Marco

When I was a very young boy, I had a friend named Marco. Marco was a cool Italian kid whose parents had surprisingly Irish names - Pat (his mom) and Lucky (his dad).

Now however Lucky Marco's dad was is debatable. My luck isn't.

My luck used to run either hot or cold. Until I met Sheryl. Since that moment, my luck has run about as good as good could get!

And so it is with complete gratitude and humility that I wish my wonderful wife a truly happy birthday.

Call it lucky, call it blessed... whatever. I am the one married to an angel. It says so on her wedding ring (and not "Gai Pan" like we were afraid it said!).

Happy birthday punkin. Thank you for all the good you've brought into my life. I pray that we celebrate many, many more of your special day!!!

I love you!

Faces in the Crowd

It has been quite a strange few days.

Not long before my dad died, he attended his 30 year high school reunion. He had a blast.

Just prior to my 10 year reunion, I had heard that the 10 year was filled with everyone puffing out there chests, and maintaining old cliques. But the 20th, I'd heard, was everyone bemoaning failed marriages and such. But the 30 year was where everyone had come to understand their lot in life, and people got along great.

Nonetheless, I attended our 10 year reunion. And it pretty much sucked.

So I skipped the 20 year (actually, I wasn't invited, but I could have gone if'n I wanted to). And lately, I've been thinking to hell with all that crap. I would be happy not attending another reunion at all.

So along comes Facebook. And I'm still feeling like I don't want to see most of the people I went to school with. However, without really noticing, all sorts of mini reunions have begun to occur.

The other night, I was chatting with someone I hadn't heard from in 25 years. And out of the blue, I get e-mails from people whom I had forgotten I was close to.

And today, I met with a high school friend whom I hadn't really chatted with since our senior year in high school.

It's a mind-blowing world in which we live. For sure.

For now, I'm happy with these mini reunions. I could still give a shit less about seeing everyone. Time changes things, though, and as long as you go into it with open eyes, there's really a lot to see.

I wonder what wonders tomorrow may bring...

One

It's a lazy saturday. I'm getting ready to do my workout. My wife, whose birthday is a week from today, is in the office doing office-work-type-stuff.

I had an interesting day yesterday. I interviewed two people for a job at work, and hired one of them. It was the first time, however, that I had to tell someone that we went with someone else. That was sad. But, we have someone in house who will definitely help. The person originally in that role could not be counted on, and that really sucked.

So for now, I am enjoying the quiet of this lazy saturday. In a few moments, my ADD will kick in, and I will be running around the house like a kid on a sugar buzz. So many things to do, and so little quiet time.

Hmmm... nothing more exciting to say. For now.

What's new?

Alright, so over the weekend, I spent some time transferring some of my vinyl to digital. It is so refreshing to hear some old, old REO Speedwagon (Flying Turkey Trot, anyone?), and some of the crazy stuff I used to listen to in high school.

Sometimes, it makes me nostalgic for the past, and sometimes it makes me wonder what's coming next.

And sometimes, I can hardly think straight because I am working a lot these days.

Music soothes the savage beast. Soothe me, Blue Oyster Cult, soothe me, Paul McCartney, soothe me Debbie Harry...

So what's new with you?

Hello America!

It is 2010, and I read my horoscope for the year. In a nutshell, it said that all my hard work will pay off this year.

I sort of laughed at it initially, but I also sort of know it already.

My life has been weird. I have gone through a lot of crap, but I have also had some of the greatest moments in life.

But the one thing I have always had, was a positive way of looking at life. I have always known that things will work out as they should. And so far, they have.

It's true that I do occasionally get jealous of people who haven't been mauled by the family dog (January 18, 1977), or those who haven't had cancer (2002), but I don't think I can be blamed for that. And you know, overall, I realize that they should be jealous of me.

Survivorship is the ultimate in hard work. On TV, Survivors have to eat rats, worms, and other things just to win a million dollars. Hell yeah, that's tough stuff, but real life survivorship helps you realize that life is so much more than all the drama yo mama can handle.

I have worked very hard my entire life. And it has paid off.

It helps that I am lucky, too. Not multi-million dollar lottery lucky - not yet at least - but extremely fortunate.

I am blessed to have the family and friends that I have. I am lucky to have found someone like my wife. And although the stars may hold my future, I know that hard work will pay off.

So in 2010, as I work hard to see positive results, I wish the best and greatest love and luck to anyone out there reading this. And even those who aren't.