Miles to Go

2012-01-22T15:03:00.003-05:00

If I've learned anything by going to school this past year or so, it's that I've still got a lot to learn.

January 23 is my angel's birthday.
I love her so much. Every thought of her warms me.
I have lived most of my life without her, but I cannot imagine being without her for even a single day.
I've never had someone love me like she does,
And that is pretty special.
I don't do all the right things, say all the right things, and still need to get over selfish tendencies,
But she still adores me.
And I do her.

I've got a lot to learn in life.
But one thing I know is that my wife is more special than words can say.
And I spend most of my time trying to make sure she's happy.
She's an angel, and proves it daily -
Who in their right mind wants an unhappy angel??

Sheryl, I wish you the happiest of birthdays.
I hope we live another 45 years in the bliss that we share.
Your smile makes me melt. It makes me know that all is right in the world.
The twinkle in your eyes fills my soul with that much more hope.

I love you so much, that the word hasn't even been invented that expresses what you mean to me.
I love our story, I love the trip that we're on, and I love that we're sharing it together.
Happy birthday, sweetheart.
I love you.

2011-12-18T15:36:00.000-05:00

The Spirit Before Christmas

So last night, Sheryl and I drove out to a bar called "Wildwood" at 21 Mile and Hayes - a 45 minute drive for us - to see Coldwater - a band that one of Sheryl's former patients plays in.

I had worked all day, and once I got home, we worked on Christmas stuff for hours. I was tired, and would have been more than happy to pack it in for the night, but the Fates didn't allow that.

When we got to the bar, we could hear the band from outside. I don't like to be overwhelmed by the music (that I don't choose! :)), so my mood was a little spoiled.

When we got in, Sheryl and I sat at the bar. We ordered drinks, and started a tab. We played Keno for most of the night, and perhaps ended up losing $5. Worthwhile for an evening of playing, I think.

During the band break - once we were able to hear each other - the bartender introduced himself from the other side of the bar. "Bob" was his name.

So Bob was a little older than us, and he sure seemed like he was having fun. He was experimenting with drink concoctions - a red "SweetTart" drink and a green "SweetTart" drink. Hmmmm... Christmas colors.

Well part of Bob's experiment was to include those of us at the bar in the taste test. We drank the shots and provided our input (the green one was really good - the red one... not so much). We got a little of Bob's story, too.

Bob had been a project engineer, and a few years ago, he was "downsized". So on a whim, he decided to go to bartender school. One night, he wandered into the Wildwood, and he struck up a conversation with the owner. He told the owner that he had just finished bartender school, and if the owner ever needed any help, give him a call. A couple weeks later, the owner called him and asked him to work.

Bob loved bartending. He worked hard to help the bar succeed. But after a while, he decided to get a "big boy's job", and he went back to work as a project engineer.

So all was well and good, and the owner of the Wildwood called Bob again. He needed Bob to work part-time if he could swing it. So Bob took on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.

Well, I told Bob that I will be taking the PMP exam (Project Management Professional) in March, and asked where he had worked.

"Oh," he said, "just some machine tool companies. Blah, blah, Cross, Lamb..."

Huh?? Cross and Lamb??

"Hey," I said, "my Dad worked at both Cross and Lamb!"

"Really? What's his name?"

"Well, he died in '91..."

"What was his name?"

"Jim Cummings."

"Yeah! Jim was a good friend of mine! I knew him well. He was in a car accident the day before he died."

"Ummm, yeah," I said, chills spreading over my body. "I was 25 when he died."

"I was at his funeral. Great guy."

"Wow."

"Yeah. You know, my son's name was Matt."

Chills again.

"He passed away when he was 25."

!!!

"I'm going to make us a special shot in a couple of minutes," he said. "We'll have a toast."

"Absolutely, Bob," I said.

Coldwater started rocking the house again. I think some glasses were rattling.

Bob made us a shot, and we toasted Jim and Matt.

The set was short since the bar stopped serving at midnight. After we could hear again, Bob said, "I've been dreaming a lot about Matt lately. His birthday is next month."

My dad's was this month.

We all agreed that we had been meant to be there, and I distinctly felt that Bob and I were both moved by the spirits.

Christmas spirits, perhaps?

When we left, Bob came from behind the bar. He hugged Sheryl, and hugged me. It was a strong hug. I told him, "Everything is the way it's supposed to be. Everything happens for a reason."

We parted ways, and my mind was completely blown. It's still blown.

Did we have a visit last night from the ghosts of Christmas past? Or simply the spirit of Christmas shouting above the music:

Merry Christmas to all... and to all a good night?

2011-11-25T10:17:00.001-05:00

Of Thanks and Thunder

On Thanksgiving Eve, 1982, I was working hard at Olga's Kitchen at Lakeside Mall - my first job.

After work, Duane - my step-dad - came to pick me up. I was tired, and didn't realize how tipsy he was until I looked back on it years later. As it was, I laughed at him when he completely passed our house, and had to circle around the block to find it again.

Back in those days, my Grandma Rodgers - a truly strong and amazing woman in her own right - came and spent the night before Thanksgiving at our house to help my mom cook and prepare for the Thanksgiving feast.

On this particular night, I laid down on my bed, the room dark - lit only by the light of my stereo receiver - and began listening to Black Sabbath's "Paranoid" album from front to back - the first time I'd ever heard the entire album.

Mesmerized by the dark and gloomy music, I closed my eyes and relaxed, inhaling the amazing aromas of tomorrow's sure-to-be tasty banquet made for giving thanks.

I was warm, I was comforted, I was home, and had no worries in the world.

And ever since that night when all of my senses vibrated as one for one amazing moment, I have made it a habit...

To listen to Black Sabbath's "Paranoid" album from first note to final growl, and think happily about that moment all those years ago - and how important my grandmother was to me.

Yes, I listen to Black Sabbath and think of my grandmother at Thanksgiving.

And I am proud of it!

2011-10-30T00:23:00.000-04:00

Number 9, Number 9, Number 9...

The other day, I saw my oncologist again. Yearly checkup. Year 9.

And although everything is fine, I always get nervous seeing him.
And although I love the man, I always get nervous seeing him.

And although everything is fine, seeing him snaps me back to reality. About what is important, and what isn't.

I get introspective when I see my oncologist. Time heals all wounds, but some things change your life forever. The bad, and the good, and sometimes even the indifferent.

My doc made an important point the other day. He said that for the first time in history, we - as a society - have more cancer survivors than those with malignancies. Now, we need to understand the long term effects of the treatments that have allowed for so many survivors.

And though I am tickled to be one of those survivors, I need to be cognizant of potential issues. Add my chick disease - Sjogren's - on top of that, and there is more to be aware of down the road.

March will be 10 years since my original diagnosis. And although my oncologist keeps reminding me that I've got things I need to keep an eye out for, a man has gotta live his life. A man has got to make the most of the time he has ahead of him. And although there are things that we may have to worry about as a result of being a survivor, there are things we need to worry about being alive.

Why do we look both ways before crossing the street? Why do I need to get yearly CT scans?

If we have a lesson to learn, it must be that we have to live life to its fullest.

2011-10-16T00:48:00.000-04:00

Oh My Stars and Garters!

One of my favorite childhood comic book characters - The Beast - once sang a song that I thought of so many times this year:

"Take me out to the ballgame, buy me a whole bunch of beer..."

Tonight, the baseball season ended 10 days too early for the Detroit Tigers. That said, I actually expected them to lose the other night. But they gave me - and the city of Detroit - hope.

And what more could you ask from these guys?

Sheryl is the reason for my renewed love of the game of baseball. It was in appreciation of her, mostly, but also in appreciation of the game, that I took Sheryl to Tigerfest back in January for her birthday.

God, the smile on her face... turns me to Jell-o every time I remember it.

This year, instead of going to Cooperstown for our anniversary, we bought a 28-game package.

We shivered through April and May games. But we saw Justin Verlander's first game at home after his no hitter in Toronto, and I happened to capture it in a photo - the Cleveland Indians were no-hit into 8 innings.

We enjoyed the summer warmth in late June, and grabbed a couple of batting practice balls during a game with the Twins.

Speaking of the Twins, we were at Delmon Young's first game as a Tiger - against the Twins. And, well, we were also at Jim Thome's 600th home run night. Same game?

Oh boy, we were at WAY TOO MANY of Brad Penny's SLLLLOOOOWWWLLLYY pitched games!

We attended Christmas in July with one of my college roommates, and I attended a May Yankees game with my other college roommate - who reminded me that his first game ever - in the early to mid 1970s - was Tigers v. Yankees at Tiger Stadium. How cool is that?

A few weeks after Phil Coke twisted his ankle and was out of the lineup, I was able to ask him how the ankle felt: "Good," he said, "Real good!" Sheryl got his autograph, and a few others after standing eye to eye with Magglio Ordonez, with nothing to be signed and nothing to sign it with. One of many, many laughs I had with my amazing wife at CoPa this year.

Sheryl went to her first opening day this year, and I was thrilled to be her date (despite the cold!). And a couple of short weeks ago, both of us - with my mom and Bill - went to our first playoff game. We had tickets to both game 7 of the ALCS (which was never going to happen at CoPa), and game 3 of the World Series... which was scheduled for next Saturday.

We took Sheryl's nephew, my nephew, and niece to games this summer, and I went to a game with my team at work.

Wow. Every game has a story!

Of the most memorable games this year was the one where we won the 50/50 raffle. We were blessed to win, and to be able to share our winnings with the CATCH, CLF, Gilda's Club, The Lake House, and Capuchin Soup Kitchen charities.

Wow, we had a blast this year!

Tonight, I saw Jim Leyland's post-game press conference. This season, people either loved or hated Jim. I understood all but one of his decisions - and that decision was Delmon Young's appearance in the post-season after he had hurt his oblique, and went 0-5 the game before.

But no matter how you felt about Leyland, you have to admit that he's a classy guy. And I will step up and admit that I am definitely on his side.

So to all the great memories of the season, and the hope and pride they gave the city of Detroit, I just want to say: Bless you boys... here comes winter, with the promise of another spring...

2011-09-13T19:30:00.000-04:00

I was looking back...

I've caught up with my schoolwork, I've cooked dinner and washed dishes, I'm cranking some Frank Zappa (Live in New York), and I'm feeling a little nostalgic.

Nostalgic enough to blog, apparently...

I was thinking about fall. Here it comes, baby. 10 days away.

I always get a case of the blues come September. I like to think it's because September reminds me of Oktoberfest. And I'm sad that once again, I'm not going to Munich.

But that's not true.

I'm always sad to see summer go away. I'm thrilled that football is back, but summer is leaving. What did I accomplish this summer?

Well, I drank some really good wines. And this year was totally a Detroit Tigers summer. We went to 20 or so games at CoPa. We went to North Carolina and saw the Durham Bulls and Charlotte Knights play on yet another unbelievable vacation.

And I was a reading fool - getting through all but two of the books on my list from LAST year - before starting school again on September 1st.

I rode, too. But not nearly as much as I have in the past. Because I now work in Detroit, I wasn't able to bike commute. That was sad. I realized, too, how much I really, really, really missed multi-day rides. And it makes me even sadder to know that I may never ride another one.

Sheryl and I went to see Steely Dan at Fox Theatre, which was one of the coolest shows I've ever seen. I think the only thing missing was being outdoors and drinking some sweet summer cocktails.

But you all know that I am constantly looking forward. I need something to look forward to. Goals to work towards...

This fall and winter will be full of studying and swim classes. Not a lot of variety, perhaps, but what else are you going to do during the winter in Michigan? Ugh, I hate cold weather...

By next summer, I should have my PMP certification and associate Master's certificate. I should be healthier than I am now, and busy planning the next thing.

This weekend, I'm gonna look for some good, golden, cloudy Weissbier, and chase that Oktoberfest monkey out of my head. Hopefully Sheryl and I will get some good miles in our legs - whether Daisy is shaking her tail at Moyo or Shtiya - and we'll hear some tunes and drink some vodka at the Ferndale DIY fair.

Monday, I'll rocks my ass off with the Foo Fighters.

Hell, who's got time to get nostalgic?

2011-08-04T21:43:00.000-04:00

What Is "The Goal"?

I've been on a reading tear lately. After taking a year to finish my Winston Churchill book, I've ripped through a couple of business books and a personal growth book.

The business book that I'm finishing now is called "The Goal".

The book has really captivated my thought processes, as I find myself looking at work problems differently.

Tonight I was thinking about how this would be an incredible book to discuss with my step-dad, Duane.

Duane was a through and through assembly plant guy. Although my dad and I would have had an interesting conversation about "The Goal", I think the discussions I'd have with Duane would be more fulfilling.

Looking at "The Goal", and my job, I wonder sometimes what the hell I am doing at my company. I still feel that I am there for a greater good, but I am really starting to wonder if it's got anything to do with the job itself. Is it possible that I am supposed to be there to impact people on a personal level, and not to improve the work that we do?

All I know is that I have really enjoyed learning all of the things I've been learning - from the alternative energy class, to economics, to proposal writing, to the beginnings of WWII... from all that I've learned about myself, and everything else...

It's been good stuff.

I simply wish that I could share it with the influential men in my life - Duane, Jim, and George. Let's meet for coffee in my dreams.

2011-07-30T00:28:00.000-04:00

A few years ago, I took Sheryl to Cleveland for her birthday. Yeah, it sounds like more of a slap on the wrist than a present, but we had a really nice time, and I was thrilled to do something nice for her.

We spent one day with a dear friends of Sheryl's, and on the next day, we decided to check out the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame before heading home.

I personally loved the hall of fame. There were some amazing exhibits, and approximately halfway through, there were some mini movie theaters, which showed classic rock and roll films on loop. Sheryl and I relaxed a bit while watching "The Concert for Bangladesh" - which was possibly George Harrison's first major activity after the breakup of the Beatles.

I remember watching the film, thinking how magical that moment was - I had only heard of this recording and this movie, I had never expected to have seen it with my own eyes. And at the freaking hall of fame of all places!

Today, Sheryl and I had a great night at the Detroit Tigers baseball game. Comerica Park - where the Tigers play - recently hosted Paul McCartney's "On the Run" tour.

When I got home tonight, I went on Itunes to download a song I heard at the game - Muse's "Uprising".

And lo and behold, right when I opened Itunes, there was the 40th Anniversary edition of George Harrison's Concert for Bangladesh.

Yes, I downloaded it.

And as I listen to it right now, I think of the random thoughts that all seem to mesh together. And I think of all the amazing music that the Beatles released together and on their own.

Who could possibly compare?

40 years, George. You had your head and heart in the right place. You did some amazing things with your life, and you used your fame for the powers of good.

There is so much more out there in the world, and we all have something to contribute.

2011-07-17T00:34:00.000-04:00

Inspirational Dirty Work (You Crazy Showbiz Kids!)

Tonight, we went to see Steely Dan at the Fox Theater. WOW, what a great show!

Obviously, they couldn't play ALL of their greatest hits, but with a setlist that included Aja, Black Cow, Hey Nineteen, Boddhisatva, Showbiz Kids, Dirty Work, Your Gold Teeth, My Old School, Reelin' in the Years, Josie, and Peg... how could you go wrong?

The songwriting that these guys come up with is inspirational. I found myself wanting to be in their stories - a part of their songs.

And wanting to write like them.

What a great (and refreshing) evening. There aren't a lot of bands that Sheryl and I can appreciate together, but Steely Dan is one of them.

Wow.
Wow!

2011-07-09T23:36:00.000-04:00

Carolina on my mind

Despite getting land-locked in Tennessee, today we managed to get home from our trip to North Carolina.

It was an extremely productive week. We made some new friends who can actually help us make our trip down South, and we scoped out potential new homes.

While we were at it, we watched some minor league ball, and visited with family. We took a few tours, and relaxed... believe it or not.

We've seen the prize, now we need to keep our eyes on it.

Are you ready to rock?

2011-06-30T22:15:00.000-04:00

Beware the Ides of July... the time of year when the doping controls eliminate 10% of the Tour de France riders before a pedal is pushed "in anger".

Yes, the Ides of July. Time for Andy Schleck to step up and earn the top spot on the podium - I'm tired of seeing that rat Contador win!

I'm ready for the Ides of July - when Spartacus raises his arms in victory and pulls on the yellow tunic.

Dopers be damned!

2011-06-23T21:21:00.000-04:00

Hello Andy? It's me again.
I need a mind-blowing creative experience.
You know my number.
Later!

2011-06-20T22:26:00.000-04:00

45 (Revolutions per Minute)

"...Bells are chiming and tears are falling
It creeps up on you without warning, 45..."
- Elvis Costello, "45"

In June 1982, I went to my first concert: Blue Oyster Cult, with Aldo Nova opening.
To my frenzied 16 year old mind, it was a Dionysian orgy of guitars, drums, lights, and fun, fun, fun.
The next day, I walked my ass to driver's training - the 6-10am course.

In February 1998, I remember my step-dad (and overall wonderful man) announce "Today is the 40th anniversary of my 21st birthday".
And we rousingly toasted his health.

In October 2002, I celebrated the end of chemotherapy and radiation treatments at home with my mom, my aunt, and my uncle, drinking beer and watching the Red Wings on TV.
That day was my life - day zero.

Not being a parent, I found myself wondering tonight if by my celebrating my birthday, my mother actually celebrated every single birthday of my 45 years.

In a way, it could be like the Tralfamadorians in Kurt Vonnegut's book "Schlachthof Fuenf" - Slaughterhouse Five - where they saw humans as centipedes - each year was a section of body... the head was the oldest version, and the tail was the youngest.

Does that happen as a parent? Do you not celebrate each year of your child's life, but rather EVERY year of your child's life?

I'm 45. I've made the "45-54" age bracket.

My life is not as exciting as it used to be, but it is even more fulfilling than ever before.

I never thought I'd see that day, yet I can't wait to see what the next day brings.

For those of us in the Western hemisphere, tomorrow brings us summer.

Finally, my old friend has come home for a visit.

45.

2011-06-12T21:53:00.000-04:00

When I'm 44...

I just read a little article in Wine Enthusiast magazine about Miranda Lambert. Whoever she is.

In the interview, they asked her the question: What would your 16-year-old self think of yourself now?

It made me think that this would be a good blog post.

Today, Sheryl and I went to a graduation party for one of her cousins' kids. It was nice. We had a lot of fun hanging out with her cousins. It was sort of like sitting at the kids table for Thanksgiving. I received some kind words from Sheryl's Aunt, and we laughed. A lot.

My 16-year-old self would not understand the nearly 45-year-old version of himself. In fact, the 30-year-old version of me wouldn't understand me.

The 16-year-old me might enjoy hanging out with me, but that's not a given. I was still trying to figure out my way through high school. Still trying to deal with the kids I went to school with. I don't think the current version of me could really tell the 16-year-old version of me anything that would stick with the 16-year-old me. No advice. No wisdom. Nothing.

That's how closed-minded I was at 16.

The 30-year-old version of me would like the current me, but wouldn't spend a lot of time with the current me because the 30-year-old me was out looking to party most of the time. I was still 4 years away from cancer. 4 years away from changing my neurotic mindset. And 7 years away from meeting my future wife.

7 years from changing my life - for the better.

My 16-year-old self would not have enjoyed today's graduation party. My 30-year-old version would have had a few shots beforehand. And my nearly 45-year-old self recognized that there are things you will be a part of that you never expected.

What is the most important piece of advice I would give my 16-year-old self?

Don't be afraid. You can do anything, and will accomplish a lot. Enjoy the ride.

The most important piece of advice I would give my 30-year-old self?

Don't try to force things. Everything comes about at the right time. Just make sure that you are in the best possible position when that door opens.

To all my other selves: Be gracious and appreciate what you've got.

God knows there's a lot in life to appreciate.

2011-06-09T19:42:00.000-04:00

Days and Days and Days...

Last weekend, Sheryl and I went to a bar to see a musical duo - half of which was a former patient of hers. Had a nice time seeing Mario play. And since Mario and I are brothers-in-disease, it was just plain good to see him and talk to him.

That's something about the cancer survivors that I run across. We have a different point of view on life, and it's something that doesn't have to be spoken about - you see it in their eyes, hear it in their voices, and feel it in their touch.

The next day, we went to visit with our friends, whom we haven't spent much time with in a long time. Over wine and cheese, we caught up with stories, advice, and memories.

Life is built on weekends like that.

The workweek, on the other hand, was brutal. As a result, I took today off.

My day was essentially filled with a lunch date with my cousin and yes, an amazing bike ride.

The 13.6 mile ride today added to the 12 mile ride I did in yesterday's 100 degree heat. As usual, the rides did wonders for my head and body.

This weekend will be spent at the ballpark, with my mom and Bill, and with Sheryl's relatives.

I can't wait to see what life will look like on the other side of these next few days...

2011-05-23T22:23:00.000-04:00

Take Me Out to the Ballgame...

Had a tremendous evening at the ballpark today. Had a crappy day at work, went to a doctor appointment, then went to the ballpark.

It was warm and sunny. Sheryl was in the process of getting her second Tiger's autograph on her mitt when the sky opened up.

It poured like Noah built an ark!

After a while, the rain stopped, and the game was postponed only 30 minutes. It was a nice night, and the sky gave us some cool pictures.

So here I sit, watching the end of the game - we left after six innings - and I smile, knowing we had a fabulous night at the ballpark, and got our salsa bowls, too!

2011-05-08T00:39:00.000-04:00

Take the Revolution

There's a call for revolution
On the streets, throwin' beats
People don't see colors, just brothers
Thumpin' bass, dollar chase
Mos Def be the name of freedom
A show of strength, miles in length
Power to the people, the steeple,
God bless the children and mothers,
Wives, sons and brothers.
The life I need to show, I hope I don't blow
My chance to dance trance perhaps.
Can we focus on the prime, the locust of time
The scourge of man, I'm not a fan,
But I can stand hand in hand with my fellow man
And determine the digital linguistics
Statistics, the will of the mystics -
All around the world, they twirled like flags unfurled
Spinning like Rumi, sue me if you can't name that tune, me,
I try to report the retort from the resort
And the battle in the streets the deet-tails which without fail
Cause me to stumble, bumble, and mumble
mmmmmmmmmmmm
Are we awake or asleep yet?

2011-05-06T22:39:00.000-04:00

First - Again!

Tonight I experienced another first. I attended my first wine tasting.

The event occurred at the Cloverleaf in Royal Oak. I had an absolute blast learning about some 50-60 wines. Ironically, I found that the wine tasting was much like the tequila tastings I have with my brother and uncle. Fortunately, I was able to try more wines in one night than I would tequilas!

I would like to thank the Cloverleaf for making me feel like I deserved to be there. Yes, I spend a lot of money there, but it's purely selfish...

I truly have come to enjoy wine. I never thought I would, and never thought I would. Basically, I never thought I would.

It has definitely been fun, and tonight opened my eyes to different types of wine drinkers, tasters, and snobs.

What a real treat!

For the record, I brought home two bottles... of something that was not even offered during the tasting.

Strange, strange world we live in...

2011-04-30T23:14:00.000-04:00

Who

In 2008, I totally believed that the world was going to change. President Obama was inspiring as he took over the presidency.

But nothing happened.

I don't know, is it me, or are we totally lacking inspiration these days?

I saw a commercial on CBC while watching some hockey. It was awesome, talking about what a great country Canada is, and can be. It got me wondering about the topic of inspiration.

We take an awful lot for granted here. We are looking to lower our deficit, get our economy on track, and yet, our elected officials are polar opposites, and cannot agree on anything.

We need someone to step up and inspire us. We can be great, and I feel like we've lost that. Where is the great American dream, where are the real leaders? Who has the guts to make things magical again in this country?

It's time, isn't it?

2011-04-23T23:17:00.000-04:00

Fonzie's Favorite Letter

With 37 points to spare...

Aaaaaaaaaa...!

What a relief!

2011-04-20T21:53:00.000-04:00

What's Your Opportunity Cost?

So... it seems like it was a million years ago when I started my economics class. You will remember that I took this class for... ummm, the heck of it. Because I was intrigued by what I could learn.

I started off well enough. I studied hard, did pretty well, attended every class, did all my homework, blah blah blah.

And then I started my new job. Oy! Who woulda figured that a simple job change could wreck havok on a class???

My grades plummeted, but I kept fighting through.

Still, my desire to ace the class carried me through. I continued to work as hard as I could, and as football players say, I left it all out on the field.

Tonight, I attended my last class - prior to next weeks' final exam. If I could swing an 85 on tonight's test, I figured I would have an A - regardless of the final (aka, I wouldn't have to take the final!).

I had not taken a few points into account, and ended up needing 43 points. Now remember, this was for an A. I already have a B locked up.

Well, I still don't know how I did on the test, but I will find out in a few days. The bottom line is... even if I get a B... I don't think I'm gonna take the final.

I learned a whole lot in this class regardless of the grade. And the sad part is that I really am glad it's over.

Come on A!!!!

2011-04-10T22:23:00.000-04:00

Who's Your (insert patterned big cat here)?

Who's my Tiger?

Not sure, but Fabian Cancellara is DEFINITELY my Leopard! Holy cow!

2011-04-10T15:25:00.000-04:00

Happy Paris-Roubaix!

Today is the first time in a decade that the weather in the D has been nice enough to ride on the same day as the Paris-Roubaix race.

So I whipped out my Moyo, donned the Bacon socks, slipped on the helmet, and off I went!

The first thing I noticed was that the winter hasn't been too bad to me. I'm still in decent shape since I last rode, and day-um, it felt gooooood! Yeah, the butt was a little sore, the legs were a little tight, but 7 sweet miles and 30 minutes later, I was itching for full-time sunny summer days - sigh!

It was obviously the first ride of the season - the dirt and crap on the road hadn't been cleaned up, and the roads stunk of winter garbage. But the itch in the back of my throat when I drew in a deep breath, and the chirping of the cardinals told me that it's almost time.

Mmmmm... good stuff man, good times.

With the Paris-Roubaix race on Versus at 7pm, I jumped in the shower, opened the windows, and I'm sitting in the recliner watching the Tigers get their asses kicked. I suppose it can't all be perfect, eh?

2011-04-07T22:54:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is a holiday of sorts in the D - opening day. It has taken almost 15 years for me to give a crap about baseball again, but my wife has succeeded in making me care.

There's nothing better in life than seeing my wife smile, and at this years' Tigerfest, I was in my glory watching her enjoy herself. For our anniversary, we were originally planning on going to Cooperstown, but instead opted for a Tigers 28-game season pass.

And starting tomorrow, we'll be lurking in section 321 behind 1st base. Come by and say hi. Buy us some hot dogs. Or Cracker Jacks.

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. Opening day means that Spring is truly here. And we have seriously struggled with Winter this year.

Anyhow, we'll see you crazy mamma-jammas tomorrow - you'll recognize us with our Tigers duds from head to toe.

Bless you boys and all the rest of ya's.

Good to see the boys of summer in our neck o' the woods!

2011-03-27T22:26:00.000-04:00

I am Leopard-Trek

George Clark gave me a book many, many years ago, called "The Snow Leopard". Along with the book came some wise words: Go seek your snow leopard.

Last night, Sheryl and I went to see one of my uncles. He was the only member of my family to be in Vietnam, and I remember like it was yesterday when he came home, and came to our house to visit. I was your typical excited kid, demanding his attention, showing him all the crazy things kids think of when they are trying to keep a special someone's attention.

I am now twice the age at which he came to visit us those many years ago. And this uncle had recently had a heart attack, and as I think about it now, I am elated to my core that he survived.

Survival is a big part of my own story. And I tie survival to bicycling - for some strange reason.

And then there's my cycling guru, whom I have recently heard that he's got a new struggle on his hands. And as happy as I am for my uncle Vietnam, I am crushed about my cycling guru.

My cycling guru and I love the amazing talent of Fabian Cancellara - who is now riding for the Leopard-Trek team. I can't wait to watch this team ride in the Tour de France.

But the only thing I think I would enjoy more is to be with my cycling guru and watch them race.

It's a strange life.

My new job is a new trail that I've never been down before while following the scent of the Snow Leopard.

My uncle and my cycling guru are the yin and the yang of life that happen.

Leopard-Trek is exciting, yet ultimately minimally meaningful.

And I can't wait to see what comes next on the trail.

Seek your own Snow Leopard.

2011-03-25T21:50:00.000-04:00

Sometimes you're the bat, sometimes you're the ball...

No shit... It's been a rough week. Really rough, in fact. My poor wife has had to deal with a bear every night that she's seen me. I guess that's what angels do...:)

So this rough week, I think, spawned a night last night of fantastic dreams - but not necessarily good ones.

The earliest part of the dream that I remember had me at a party - much like a frat party. The room was all in black and blue and gray hues. Except for the blood. Someone was stabbed, and although I saw it happen, I was in a bad place, and had to pretend that I was cool with it (although I was horrified!).

I was free of blood on my hands and clothes, but my right shoe was splattered with it. I tried to kick the bloodied black shoe aside, but there was no escaping it. I needed to reclaim it before we torched the building down. Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to ensure I left no prints behind...

My gang drove our badly battered cars to the headquarters, where we entered huge wooden doors and walked into a large, expansive ballroom with wood floors. Wandering the ballroom was a lion and a mini Phil Collins (think "petite giraffes").

We went to the bar and ordered whiskeys, talking about the kill. I knew I was clean, and the rest of them were going down...

And I turned around, and dreamt about being outside in an English-type garden. Talking to a school marm looking woman, I suddenly became aware of a central theme during the dream - a phrase that came up often...

A phrase I woke up repeating as a mantra because I knew it was going to be important to my real life.

When I got out of bed I wrote it down:

"This is your rewrite - the story will become whatever you make it."

Wrapped around a tough week such as this, that dream mantra helps keep things in perspective.

We all have the power to rewrite the story that is occurring around us. It is up to us to decide how it's going to end.

2011-03-20T01:26:00.000-04:00

My wife, she's blazing
So freaking amazing
She's my blood and my breath
I truly am blessed.
She's the yin to my yang
I'm the pop, she's the bang
She's the yang to my yin
The sword to my pin
I am the talk
She is the walk
I am the bed
And she is the spread
Without her, I'm a flag
With no pole, I'm just dragged
She gives me flap
A flag with some snap
On my salad, she's my dressing
She's my greatest blessing
I'm grateful to have met her
To have kissed her, and wed her.
My blazing wife.

2011-03-04T23:33:00.000-05:00

What inspires you?

Who inspires you?

With a world full of Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan news, it's easy to forget that there is more in the world that can inspire us to be better people.

Today was a sad day for me, but for all the right reasons. It was my last day at my "old" job. I start my new job in a couple of days.

Days like today, though, are good days to learn how much you have meant to others.

I have tried to inspire others to become bigger than themselves, and I was fortunate to see that come to fruition with a former co-worker. I inspired him to cycle, and now he inspires others while teaching spinning classes.

How cool is that?

It was a good day that included a stop at one of my favorite wine shops - Cloverleaf.

But most importantly, I love how my wife keeps me grounded.

Who can you inspire?

How much effort are you willing to put into it?

2011-02-25T20:30:00.000-05:00

Rockin' A Friday Night Like It's Only Hours Before Saturday!

Okay, 10 years ago, if I would have said:
It's 8pm, my wife is still at work, so I'm rockin' the Sounds of the Seasons channel (playing House Beats during non-seasonal times), sipping on some wine,
I probably would have asked you to shoot me.
Funny how times change.
My mom is walking the Broadwalk in Hollywood, Florida, and had to text me to tell me what a life she has.
Man, it's all good.

Sure, I wish it was me taking a night walk outside in Southern Florida, but I'm glad someone I know is... even as we look forward to more snow tonight (this February has been the 2nd snowiest on record - ugh!).

I don't mind that I'm sitting home listening to Sounds From The Ground and Dark Globe.
I don't mind that I'm swigging wine.
I love being married, and I love my wife.

I love that the Detroit Tigers are starting real Spring Training games.
I love that spring is 4 sundays away, and the time change is 3 sundays from now.

I love that I am starting my new job in just over a week. Man, I've got a lot to learn!

It's a great life.
I didn't know that 10 years ago like I do now.

And by the way, sorry, unless I know you're coming over after dark, I am not answering the door.

2011-02-24T21:49:00.000-05:00

Timeout

I just wanted to take a moment to say how proud I am of my wife.

She's had a tough week this week, but she's keeping on keeping on, wearing her brave face.

She's doing great things, and I love her for not losing her head and being the amazing woman she is.

2011-02-19T23:41:00.000-05:00

Addy-Ose!

It's been quite a few weeks. I can officially announce that I am changing jobs.

Oddly enough, I attribute this job change to the experiment I conducted in December. At that time, I worked to open myself to infinite possibilities. One of those possibilities happened to come in the form of a number of phone messages from a company that wanted to talk to me about a job.

When I realized this as an opportunity knocking, I listened.

A few weeks, a bunch of interviews, and a lot of anxiety later, I will be starting a new job in March.

Wow!

It should be a blast - I'm so excited to see what I can help this company accomplish!

This naturally takes nothing away from the job I'm leaving. I love the job, I love the people I work with, and I love the paychecks. But opportunity is calling, and I gotta see where it's gonna lead me.

Now all I gotta do is shake this stinkin' cold, and I'll be truly champing at the bit!

2011-02-01T21:36:00.000-05:00

(...)

I've been sick to my stomach all day. To find out a tragedy such as friends of mine losing a child to a perfect calamity leaves me terribly sad. And I can't even cry about it.

When I was sick, they were there for the highs and lows. Although he was my mom's boss, he was aware of all that I was going through. And when I completed my treatments, his band played at the party my mom threw for me.

Here we are, just over 8 years later, and though I haven't seen him and his wife in quite a while, I hold them close in my heart.

I am horrified and deeply saddened that such a cruel turn of events has befallen them. Wonderful people, they are, and truly undeserving of such sadness in their lives.

I truly hope that the lesson that needs to be learned as a result of this is a good one, because it's just grossly cruel. Although my eyes cannot cry, I feel like my heart weeps.

Whether you knew it or not, young man, you touched many lives. Godspeed to ye, laddie.

2011-01-22T21:48:00.000-05:00

January 23, 2011

When Sheryl and I started dating, I was broke and out of a job. When my birthday rolled around, she asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I usually don't want anything, but that year, I REALLY wanted to see Wilco perform at the Meadowbrook Music Theatre. Sheryl got us tickets, and I had an absolute blast.

That concert helped me understand how deeply Sheryl loved me. When I look back on concerts, that one fills me with down-to-Earth good feelings. It makes me feel warm and bubbly.

Tonight, I sit watching Wilco's "Ashes of American Flags" DVD, relaxing, sipping the Green Fairy. Sheryl is in bed and it's 9:20pm.

Our day was full. Our week was busy.

And tomorrow, my angel - my wife - celebrates her birthday. We'll be the same age for 6 months.

It wasn't a mistake that I put this DVD in. The way Sheryl made me feel on that birthday by taking me to see such an amazing show...

... is exactly how I want her to feel every day - not just her birthday.

So today we unofficially celebrated her birthday. And we did yesterday, too, having dinner with friends we hadn't seen since August. At a Mexican restaurant in Mexicantown. Following a Detroit Tigers game.

Following that theme, we went to Tigerfest today at Comerica Park. We had so much fun! Despite standing in line for two hours to get sourpuss (I say that with respect!) Jim Leyland's autograph, we had some crazy unexpected events happen, including me telling Don Kelly that I wasn't jealous that my wife had his ball in her hand! Go figure!

The fun Sheryl had today was definitely the fun that I had at the Wilco show. We have memories together of such great experiences that no one will ever be able to take from us, and that is truly special.

Just like my wife.

Punkin, on our wedding day, you promised to make me laugh every day. I promised to myself that you will always feel loved, and will always feel special. You have kept your promise, and I continue trying my best to keep mine.

I know you know that I love you, and I hope I never give you reason to question that.

Happy birthday, sweetheart. May every day be a mini Tigerfest. With fajitas and sangria. And good friends. And laughs and laughs and laughs.

And love, baby, love.

2011-01-16T22:32:00.000-05:00

Body parts

Bought my first ever bottle of the green fairy last night. I am always amazed by how legendary things seem less formidable when experienced - like absinthe and Neu Schwanstein...

2011-01-16T22:22:00.000-05:00

Perfect Sense (Part 2)

I went to my cousin's yesterday. I swear to god he and his wife have the coolest friends! Sheryl and I have cool friends, too, but we don't see them nearly enough.

Hmmm... we should do something about that.

2011-01-16T22:19:00.000-05:00

Perfect Sense (Part 1)

I had a dream this morning where I definitively felt that Sheryl and I needed to move to North Carolina.

I'm just sayin'. It was a dream.

2011-01-05T19:28:00.000-05:00

The Front

Coming home from an awesome vacation can be difficult. In many ways, you feel ready to jump back into the rat race and accomplish a lot. But on the other hand, you have grown accustomed to the awesome vacation life...

I would love to find that happy medium - a location in the rat race where I feel like me 100% of the time - and not someone the rat race makes me. And daily naps. I want daily naps on a daily basis.

I want to use my brain to accomplish great things - then spend a half hour or so in the hot tub.

I wonder what it would be like to mesh my personal desires with my professional desires. To call in sick when I need to catch up on reading Kurt Vonnegut, or feel like riding my bike instead.

I wonder what it would be like to have a money tree that only me and my family and friends can have access to. And since I've crossed the reality border paragraphs ago, the money tree must regrow its leaves within a week.

That would be sweet.

And then I could go wherever I want - which right now means someplace that my hands and feet are not constantly cold and my wine is not my whine...

2011-01-01T12:39:00.000-05:00

Years' End

Last night, Sheryl and I got home from our grand vacation.

Two weeks ago, we drove down to Hollywood, Florida via Huntersville, NC. We relaxed, hung out, then headed down to Key West, which was a big highlight for me. I love the Keys so much - they bring back so many positive memories for me.

After the Keys, we went back to Hollywood, and eventually left for Charleston, SC. We're looking to move down South, so visiting Charleston was a little more than just sightseeing.

Oh, and there was Georgie, too.

Georgie the ghost apparently haunted the B&B we stayed in. Nice. I'm such a sissy with that stuff, and Sheryl milked it to no end.

Ultimately, there was no Georgie sighting, and all was well.

The trip home was long - we were essentially on the road for 17 hours, but we got home before the ball dropped in Times Square.

And now we look at the new year. 2011. It seems like just yesterday it was 2010.

I can't wait to see what great things 2011 will bring!

Over the weekend, I need to make sure I'm ready.

Happy new year, everyone!

2010-12-24T22:36:00.000-05:00

The Eve of Christmas Eve

Last night, Sheryl and I sat outside on the front porch of Vino's on Duval in Key West. We had completed a full day of riding scooters and sightseeing, and had an incredible dinner at Mangoes.

As we sat, drinking our wine of the moment, I realized I was a little chilly. So I took a blanket off the chair next to me, and covered my legs - bare from the knees down.

Watching people walk by, overhearing bits and pieces of conversations - in English and other languages - we gazed at the Christmas lights decorating the businesses across the street.

I had a sudden moment of clarity. I was in the perfect place at the perfect time doing the perfect thing with perfect company.

Another blessing.

2010-12-20T23:44:00.000-05:00

Conclusions

There are many reasons to count our blessings. I acknowledge my appreciation for things daily.

Lately, I've been working on an experiment using the concepts discussed in "What the Bleep Do We Know?"

And I've found that these concepts can and do work. I also found that it was very difficult to step away from old habits and develop new ones. Oddly enough, I found that by being cold forced me to whine and bitch about being cold, rather than focus on my blessings and experiment.

I've talked about some parts of my experiment, but there was one I did not want to discuss until a couple of days ago.

They say that it takes three weeks to change habits. So, I decided that I wanted to change my drinking habit.

It wasn't easy to accomplish his. I got some hassle, but I persisted. I didn't know what to expect, but I did know that if I was able to achieve my goal, then my sense of will power was strong enough to accomplish anything in life. Yes, somewhat drama-queenish, but something nonetheless I felt I needed to prove to myself.

And I learned some things, too. I learned that I slept better. I learned that I felt better. I felt that I could focus better.

And people who knew me 10+ years ago won't comprehend this, but I learned that I missed drinking wine, and experimenting with wine more than anything.

Over the last year or so, I haven't really enjoyed what rum and other hard liquors have been doing to my body. Of course, I have had a tendency to drink excessively at each sitting as well, but that don't count, right?

So the experiment is over, and I am eager to take these lessons I've learned and find out how they help me become a better person, and what amazing things I can accomplish.

It's all a process. And if we're lucky, we never stop learning and testing ourselves.

2010-12-09T22:29:00.000-05:00

Notes on the Experiment

I've only been working on this experiment for a week or so, and I can already say that I feel confident that it will work. There are too many coincidences to make me think otherwise.

There are four items that are part of the experiment:
1) Identify moments in the day that Sheryl and I are grateful for (thus opening ourselves for positive occurrences);
2) Receive a job offer down South (which nearly happened, but I realized that I wanted to stay at my current position a little longer, so I turned down the opportunity);
3) and 4) They still have not occurred, so I will keep them to myself... until they do occur. I am confident they will.

But the gist of the experiment has been to determine whether I could change things in my life by changing the way I think about them.

I have been really fascinated lately by the Quantum Edition of "What the Bleep Do We Know?" There are hours upon hours of bonus information regarding quantum mechanics and quantum physics, and this is what ignited the concept of my experiment.

Daily, I think it's important for me to remember: "I make myself available to the infinite possibilities." By saying, and believing in this, I recognize that there is no limit to my life. There is nothing I can't do (without the proper work being done).

And now I'm excited to see what I can accomplish with this knowledge.

Let's finish Items 3 and 4 first, eh? :)

2010-12-07T20:23:00.000-05:00

Life

On the day that I learned that Elizabeth Edwards died, I went with my amazing wife to see the pulmonologist.

18 months ago, a CT scan showed a spot on my lung. My oncologist - as thorough as he is - put me through three more CT scans to ensure everything was alright. And then sent me to the pulmonologist. As long as the pulmonologist said everything was okay, then I was in the clear.

Well, I am in the clear, although he wants one more CT in the spring.

So, how did I celebrate?

I went to the Y, and rode 16 miles on the trainer.

It's good to be alive. How do you celebrate your life?

"Life has no limitations, except the ones you make." - Les Brown

2010-12-06T14:14:00.000-05:00

The Daily Dose

As part of my experiment, I have been trying new things: being more positive, being more aware of my surroundings and opportunities, appreciating what I have, and focusing on my desires.

Part of being more positive has included asking Sheryl what the best part of her day was just before she goes to bed. Doing this helps both of us to focus on something positive before going to bed. Maybe it's just a coincidence, but I have been sleeping really well lately...

The other things come and go, but as I work on each aspect of this project, I get a kick out of finding ways to make the best of myself and the opportunities available to me.

2010-12-05T00:36:00.000-05:00

This morning, I tried to focus on the experiment while I was working out, but didn't have a lot of time tonight to meditate on it.

Tonight was big, though, met a personal milestone, and helped make someone's day. These are positives that will help along the way.

As I further refine the parameters of the experiment:

Today, I make myself available to all possibilities that will ultimately lead to a positive outcome.

My favorite part of the day was seeing all of the smiles I saw tonight, including hearing my aunt say that she hasn't laughed that hard in a long time. Made me think about all the laughing I did today. Very positive. :)

2010-12-03T22:46:00.000-05:00

The experiment...

So I am working towards a moment that will be a great benefit to me. I am trying different things, like eliminating negativity from my life. By doing this, I believe that I can make more positive things more available to me.

There have been some struggles over the last few days, but there has definitely been some positively stranger things happening as well. Today, despite some non-positive occurrences, I found that there were a number of occasions where I was "in the right place at the right time". Or "someone was just looking for me," and there I was. This is an important development towards my goal.

Something else important came to me as well. Three quotes that idealize things I need to keep close during this experiment:

"The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them." - Jim Rohn

"Find peace in your heart. It will spread over the world. The effect of it is strong and immediate." - Yoko Ono

"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." - Charles Darwin

These have all come to me since I decided to undergo this experiment. This tells a big tale.

Today, I open myself to all positive opportunities, and recognize the changes within me, and around me, no matter how small or how large, that occur as a result of opening myself up to these positive opportunities.

I'm getting excited to see what happens next!

2010-12-02T22:28:00.000-05:00

I'm three days into my experiment, and I'm still in learning mode. Still trying to figure it out. It is good, and it's going to be good... if not GREAT!

Today I open myself to all POSITIVE possibilities.

2010-12-01T18:14:00.000-05:00

There's a lot to learn here, and I'm not quite ready to move on yet. Be patient, my pretties...

Today: I open myself up to all possibilities.

2010-11-30T22:13:00.000-05:00

I am performing an experiment. I expect that the outcome will be favorable for me, and it will take 45 days to complete.

Each day, I add a piece of the puzzle, ultimately ending up with the desired outcome.

Bear witness to this experiment with me. Let's travel the road together.

Today: I open myself up to all possibilities.

2010-11-24T23:29:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving thoughts - 2010

One of my daily affirmations is "I am gracious, accountable, and focused."

Grace, in my mind, is to be appreciative of what you've got. So in a way, Thanksgiving is every day for me.

I am grateful for things that fall into major subsets - people, situations, and things.

I am grateful for my wife, who swore she'd make me laugh every day, and she keeps her word.
I am grateful for my mother, who is probably my best friend.
I am grateful for my brothers and sister, because no matter what, we know we can count on each other.

I am grateful to be back in touch with many family members that I'd fallen out of touch with.
I am grateful to be alive, and to have a chance every day to make a positive impact on the world around me - especially my wife's world.
I am grateful to understand what it is to be healthy, and to be healthy and happy.

I am grateful for a job that reminds me that I love to work, and I love being a technical writer.
I am grateful for my bikes - Shtiya and Moyo - my strength and my heart.
I am grateful for the wisdom that I earned from the University of Hard Knocks.

On the night before Thanksgiving, I listen to Black Sabbath's "Paranoid" album, and Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon". They remind me of when I first truly listened to those albums - on the day before Thanksgiving, when my grandma came to spend the night, and help my mother with Thanksgiving dinner preparations. When I think of my Grandma Rodgers, I recall how much I love her, and how much I love my Grandma Cummings. Both named Rose, ya know...

So thank you, Thanksgiving, for granting me the memories that remind me that our past is a blueprint to our children's future.

Thank you everyone.

2010-11-22T22:39:00.000-05:00

A Rock Lobster Treat

I just spent the last 30 minutes writing a piece that touched my soul regarding John Lennon, and the PBS special "American Masters".

And through a computer glitch, I lost it. It was deleted.

Gone.

Finito.

It must have divine providence.

Thank you, my spiritual guides. I love and miss you.

2010-11-17T19:47:00.000-05:00

Get Back Jojo!

People always talk about "If I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing...". But what if you really had a chance to go back?

What if the you who you are now, could go back in time? What if you could take someone with you? I mean, I would totally take Sheryl. I think we would have so much fun being as wise as we are after 43 years (44 for me), and seeing how different things would be.

If it wasn't for cancer, I would not be the person I am now. Sheryl and I might not have ever met. BUT... what if we were already married, and what if I could be 35 again, and not have to go through cancer again, but still have the glory of youth and excitement of all the years ahead of me?

Instead of 40 glorious years together, we could have 60, and we could have fewer aches and pains, and blah blah blah...

I love my life. I say it over and over, and I completely believe it. Sometimes though, I gotta admit. I wish I had everything I have, but could have a few less worries, and have the spirit of being young.

Oh well, I guess that's what I get for watching live Weezer videos while nursing a bit of a cold. :(

2010-10-09T22:21:00.000-04:00

Red Red Wine...

In the late 60s, Jimi Hendrix recorded an album with the Band of Gypsys. The amazing album has a song on it that Clapton and Winwood recently covered, called "Changes".

The first lyric is "My mind is goin through them changes, I think I'm goin outta my mind..."

And that thought lingers with me as I look back on today's visit to the Cloverleaf Wine Shop in Royal Oak.

But that's not truly the beginning of this story. It really starts a couple of years ago.

I am perpetually trying to improve myself. Tweaking and changing, trying to become a better person. Part of becoming a better person is trying to live long enough to achieve betterdom. One night, I decided to choke down some red wine. After all, it's been lauded as a health enhancer, and I am all for enhancing my health.

A day or two later, I thought I'd choke down red wine again.

And eventually, something crazy happened.

Actually, two somethings crazy happened:

1) I got better results from my doctor.
2) The red wine eventually started tasting pretty okay.

So... on trips to Costco, I started trying different red wines, and actually found one in particular that I liked.

Now we fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. Sheryl and I went to Royal Oak for dinner, and stopped by the Cloverleaf - a small, locally run wine and crafted beer shop.

Scott, an employee there, greeted us, and offered to help us find something or answer any questions. By now, I had grown weary of simply looking for bottles of red wine with cool labels. I wanted to gain a little knowledge, and understand a little more about what the hell I was drinking.

Scott took some time with us, and supplied a few suggestions based on my weak explanation of what I thought I liked in a wine. He explained flavors, grapes, growing locations, costs and the like. Most of which went over my head.

And we walked out of there with five bottles of wine. Most of which were in the price range that I felt comfortable paying for.

As soon as we got home, I popped open a bottle that Scott highly recommended - Tres Picos. Sheryl and I both loved it. In fact, I thought it was the best damn wine I'd ever had...

It turned out that I really enjoyed three of the five bottles, and "merely enjoyed" the other two.

Fast forward again to my visit to the Cloverleaf today.

I walked in and started looking at bottles of wine. I still wasn't sure of what I was looking for, but I knew the general area to look in, to find something I might like. Scott walked by.

"Dude," I said, "you were dead nuts on the Tres Picos. It was the best wine I'd ever tasted."

If you think about this, this is something that everyone wants to hear about their job. This is the ultimate compliment (aside from giving someone a raise...), no?

So Scott and I talked about wine. He made more recommendations, and I started to sort of kinda understand what he was talking about.

"My mind is goin through them changes, I think I'm goin outta my mind..."

Mr. Beer Drinker. Mr. Tequila Taster. Mr. Rum Drinker, Vodka Drinker, Margarita Drinker... talking wine???!!!

Yes, 10 years ago, I would have never seen it coming. 10 years ago, I would have never seen marriage coming, either. 10 years ago, I would have never seen cancer coming.

It's all about growth, I guess. It's all about betterdom. The more you learn about things you don't know, the more learned you become, no?

So here I am, eager to taste the five new bottles of wine that I got earlier today.

Crazy.

Changes.

2010-09-17T23:55:00.001-04:00

Wishing Tree

When I sit underneath the wishing tree and look to the sky,
What do I wish, and why do I... why?
I wish for a few things which I will get to,
But before I start asking for things, I keep it real...
I say thank you.
I thank God.
I thank the angels.
I thank those who have inspired me and have passed.
I thank them for that, I thank them for this
I thank them for my brothers and sis.
And I thank and thank and thank.
I thank to be alive.
I thank for my wife.
I thank everyone for everything.

And then I start my wishes:
Please bless so and so and such and such.
Everybody and everyone.
And
Please help Sheryl and I achieve our goals.

I am a fortunate man, who's got an angel for a wife.
I think I know how to love life.
Birthdays are frickin' awesome.

The wishing tree has limbs of steel,
Carrying wishes upon its leaves.

I don't add much weight to its branches.
I just love lying nestled in its umbrella of hope.

2010-08-31T21:20:00.000-04:00

How Cycling Made Me A Better Driver...

I pay more attention to spots where cyclists COULD BE.

How Driving Made Me A Better Cyclist...

I pay more attention to spots where cyclists ARE INVISIBLE... and try to BE VISIBLE.

That is all. Carry on.

2010-08-25T20:27:00.000-04:00

(Re)Cycle

Yesterday, as I was riding into work, I bunny-hopped the same old massive crack that I bunny-hop every trip into work. The only difference yesterday was that I hopped right onto a rock.

The bike handled funny after that, and not in a take-my-wife-please way. Once I got to work, I saw the wobble. Later on, I saw the snapped spoke.

I was crushed and disappointed. I still have time, but I'm cutting it close to get my 20 rides into work this summer.

I'd just like to add that when you dearly love your bike, and love riding, and can't... you notice everyone else riding. They ride past you, mocking you. And I swear that a few of them flicked boogers at me, too!

Anyhow, it's painfully obvious that I need to take Moyo into the shop this weekend, and I hope like hell that she can be fixed right then and there.

I know, I know... I hear you out there asking: "What about Shtiya? Your strength and mechanical savior?"

I hear ya, brutha.

My beloved Shtiya has been sitting in the basement for about a year now. Neglected and sad, she bravely grew cobwebs and scared away dust bunnies and dirt beasts.

So I took her out to see the light of day. And she was happy.

Both Moyo and Shtiya needed a washing, so I carefully and gingerly wiped them both down. I put Moyo back together, and hung her in the garage to await the trip to the bike shop.

Shtiya, on the other hand, got herself some new tires and tubes. I was set to make her shine.

But as I wiped Shtiya down, I noticed her scars and scrapes. The poor girl - like me - had lived hard. I never knew that she had so many scars. It actually saddened me quite a bit. After all... she is in her twilight...

It got me to thinking about some of the amazing times we had together. Like riding through the Alaskan mountains, and over the Rocky Mountains... the rain-soaked trip into Helena, MT via 6,000+ feet.

Ahhh, the beautiful, melancholy memories.

I also found myself wondering how it will be when I bid my final farewells to Shtiya. Sheryl will never demand that I get rid of her. It will be all my decision when it is time.

I'll get a decent ride on Shtiya this season, yet. And I'll try to keep her from getting too old.

But one thing for sure is that I can always say that we had one helluva ride (my first 100 mile ride!).

2010-08-16T21:50:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, I get into a mood to write, but I run into a problem:
I don't know what to write about!

There are so many things going on in the lump on my shoulder (which I call a "head"), that I feel there is a logjam. This is different than writer's block, because intuitively, I know that some sort of writing will be produced - unlike with writer's block.

The weather is starting to change, and I am already getting lazy and missing Moyo. This, of course, despite the fact that I'll be riding to work tomorrow, and have a number of rides still left this season. Man, what a great riding season this year!!

I signed up for my first alternative energy class, which starts after Labor day. I am so freaking excited, it is ridiculous. I have always wanted to save the world, and with this knowledge, I might actually be closer to achieving the unbelievable!

We've got plans every weekend from now until October. Birthday parties, bike rides, and lots of hanging out with friends.

My wife is the best thing to ever happen to me. Period. Seriously, I thank the angels every night for allowing me to marry one of their own.

Our 42" splurge of a television quit working 6 weeks after the warranty ran out. NEVER BUY A VIZIO TELEVISION.

I am doing some managerial administrative stuff at work that I've never done before. Although I relish the chance to learn something new, I am also out of my comfort zone. Ick!

Come on, football season!

I am reading a very good book right now - The Last Lion - a biography of Winston Churchill.

Being healthy is killing me. Seriously, why is it not against the law for insurance companies to screw us over? Of course, the argument could be made whether you can put a price on health and knowledge. I now happen to know that despite this stinking Sjogren's, I am healthy. Can you imagine what it's like to know that? To know for a fact that YOU ARE HEALTHY. For the first time since I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's, I am healthy (overlooking the obvious! lol!).

And so, with that, I will sign off for tonight. I wish you all still minds, happy hearts, inward smiles, and warm, lengthy hugs.

2010-07-29T22:11:00.000-04:00

Is it technically green?

Today I was talking with a co-worker about going back to school.

It got me to remember that I really love technical writing. I don't know why I am attracted so much to this career - it certainly has not been stable for me. Nonetheless, I love writing about things that I know very little about. It forces me to learn how things go together, and how things work.

Too bad none of it has to do with household repairs!

After many years, I've realized, too, that I like to be a leader, and manage things. As such, I don't think I could pick a better job than the one I currently have. Well, maybe one with some longevity....

I've been vacillating between going back to school for my master's, or for something else.

And I think I chose:

Something else.

Alternative energies anyone?

Once again, it's stuff I know nothing about. It's relatively new, and it is definitely ready to explode (so to speak!).

A couple of decades ago, I loved the Vampire Lestat books by Anne Rice. There were times that I would think about being a vampire. "What would be the coolest thing about being a vampire," I used to ponder. The answer was that I could become an expert at a lot of things - I would live long enough to learn everything. EVERYTHING.

I could spend a lifetime as a marine biologist, a lifetime as a mercenary, a lifetime as a priest, a lifetime as a monk, a lifetime as a geologist. I could have a flipping blast!

I could be a technical writer of vampiric proportions, and sweating my schooling moves would involve no sweat at all.

But here I am... human, living a life as a tech writer.

... About to turn this b!tch green!

2010-07-22T20:32:00.005-04:00

Summer Saturdays

During my ride into work this morning, I passed the Madison Heights library. I often pass the library on my way to and from work, but this morning triggered a happy memory from my childhood.

In 1976 and 1977, I was 10-11 years old. Down the road from our house, there was a bus stop... for the library bus to take us to the library.

I really loved taking the library bus. I would go down to the bus stop on a Saturday morning, where it would pick me up, and then we would cruise all around Madison Heights to pick up other people who wanted a ride to the library.

The bus ride was a rush - I always liked exploring different areas of our neighborhood, but the bus took us beyond the places I could ride my bike to. For the bus driver, it was simply a drivin' job. But for me... it was always an adventure!

Eventually, the green and white bus would stop at the library, and I would run inside, and feast on all of the great books there. I remember that they had spongey yellow cushions on the floor, where you could take a book and read. Man, I knew that library like the back of my hand - talk about exploring!

Yup, back in '76 and '77, we lived 4-5 miles from the Madison Heights library. But every Saturday, it could have been 1,000 miles for this 11 year old boy.

Somehow, I always knew when it would be time to get back on the bus for the trip back home. I bet I always had stories for my mom about my great library adventures.

2010-07-16T22:22:00.002-04:00

There is nothing in this world like a morning bike ride.

The dew on the grass shimmers like glitter on the fresh lawns as the sun creeps from its sleep.

Houses and trees silhouette themselves on the horizon,

And the day feels brand new.

There are billions of things that can - and will - happen on this day, and new hope raises her skirt for just a quick electric peek into possibilities.

The silent woosh of noiseless air brushes past your ears, and the humid dawn erotically wraps itself around every inch of your senses.

Birds dance from tree to tree and wire to wire.

Squirrels race from yard to yard unworried about cars and trucks

and bicycles.

There is nothing in this world like a morning bike ride.

Whether the day ahead promises stress or peace,

Wisdom or stupidity,

Or all of the above.

A morning bike ride proves divinity.

2010-06-28T21:47:00.001-04:00

Down at the Crossroads...

This past weekend, Sheryl and I went to Eric Clapton's Crossroads Festival in Chicago. Sheryl is a big fan of Chi-town, and I had only been there once, so I was looking forward to her showing me around.

We left around 9am Friday, and headed straight down to the Navy Pier to catch the 2:00 architecture tour boat. Wow! What a rush! Sorry to sound like a geographic moron, but I never knew that a river ran through Chicago! And the views were amazing from the boat, too. Whew!

After dinner at Harry Caray's restaurant, we headed to the "hotel". And wow. Let me just say that the next time I want to find a place in the Chicago suburbs where I feel like I'm paying by the hour, I would definitely go back... not very likely.

But the reason for our visit was Saturday at Toyota Park. The night heralded loud thunderstorms, and the weather outlook for the day was constantly threatening. But the rain never came. The clouds barely came, and it was hotter than hell.

We got to the park shortly after noon, and the music had already started. I was so excited! We kept telling ourselves that it was a marathon, and not a sprint. We used a lot of sunscream, I had bought a floppy expeditionary hat to cover my ears and neck, and we had our sunglasses and ear-to-ear grins.

When we got to our seats, Robert Randolph had just started. Our seats were straight away across from the stage (imagine end zone to end zone at a football stadium), 4th row from the field.

After an awesome Robert Randolph set, we decided to look for shade. We found a bit, and consumed a lot of water. Robert Cray played with some special guests, and we wandered around a little, watching Sheryl Crow perform.

It was the first time I'd seen Ms. Crow perform, and I was very impressed. She was a definite highlight... but then, the day was still young.

I had been looking forward to seeing ZZ Top and John Mayer. I had heard that they were great performers, yet had never felt the urge to see either one. ZZ Top played rather early in the day - around 2pm. I was really impressed with them, although I'd probably never go spend money to see them again.

Again, we wandered around, and eventually made our way back to our seats to see John Mayer, and the rest of the performances. I had a feeling that John Mayer was going to be good when I heard his trio was rounded out with Stanley Jordan on drums and Pino Palladino on bass.

And they ROCKED!

What a nice surprise. I think that's what this event was about - to see people perform whom you wouldn't normally see. I think I'm a fan, although I will be careful not to fall for the pop-py crap they've played non-stop on pop radio.

Buddy Guy played some smoking blues with Jonny Lang and Ronnie Wood. Susan Tedeschi and Derek Trucks hosted a mega free-for-all that included the guys from Los Lobos, and Warren from the Allman Brothers. Then another big surprise - Johnny Winter came out to jam. Unfortunately, he played horribly. I was bummed.

Nonetheless, the fireworks were just starting. Easily one of my favorites - Jeff Beck performed flawlessly. He played a bunch of new songs that I had seen him play last week in Detroit. I was hoping he'd play "A Day in the Life" so Sheryl could see/hear it, but unfortunately for me, he chose to play "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" instead. Sorry, I find that one a yawner. But he made up for it, playing "Rollin' and Tumblin", "Dirty Mind", and the Sly Stone song "Higher".

The man of the hour stepped up to the mic and plugged in after Beck. The sun had gone down, and although it was still hot, it was much more bearable.

Eric Clapton played a few songs, then introduced Jeff Beck who came out to play "Shake Your Moneymaker". Another snoozer in my book. But the night got better when Steve Winwood was introduced. Together, Clapton and Winwood played "It's Alright" and "Had to Cry Today" by Blind Faith.

By this time, I started to realize that if we stayed to the very end, we would be totally hosed trying to get out. Toyota Park was sold out, and 27,000 people would be heading to the gates at the same time. While Clapton and Winwood tore through an amazing "Voodoo Child" - the original slow, crushing version - I told Sheryl that I was ready to go whenever she was. We were torn by the parking situation, and Clapton being AMAZING. So as the jumped into "Cocaine", we made a beeline to the exit.

As we inched towards the car, I could hear the intro to "Dear Mr. Fantasy". Ugh!

We were exhausted, though. At 10pm, it had been a long, hot day. We were willing to give up the final hours-worth of performances. Besides... we were already planning to buy the DVD when it's released this fall!

Back at the shack, we choked down some 7-11 nachos and chicken tenders before diving into a deep deep sleep.

We were on the road home by 7am, and back at our house by 2:30. Home sweet home... a perfect coda to sweet home Chicago.

2010-06-24T22:31:00.000-04:00

Dumela, Moyo!

Man, I don't know what it is, but this is becoming the best cycling season I've had in years! Although I'm not putting the long miles in that I used to, the miles I have been riding have been extremely enjoyable.

The rides that Sheryl and I are doing together have been great as well.

I wonder if I've just come to accept the pureness of a bike ride - the joy and child-like curiosity of human powered motion.

All I know is my heart - my corazon, my moyo - is full during and after every ride. I feel stronger and stronger, and find a ton of fun in riding the speed limit on 4th Street in Royal Oak (30 mph!).

Thank you, angels and divinities who make my bike rides so great. I feel whole again.

2010-06-10T21:07:00.002-04:00

The Anatomy of a Name

I decided that it was time to name my "new" bike - which I've had for 2 1/2 years now.

You may or may not know, but my "old" bike's name is "Shtiya" - an Inuit phrase meaning "my strength". I chose an Inuit name because that was the bike that took me across Alaska in 2000. I chose "Shtiya" because she was my strength and my drive when I needed it.

So the "new" bike has given me problems to this point - back problems, mechanical problems, etc., so prior to now, I really haven't ridden her long enough to name her.

As parents out there know, naming something - a child, perhaps - is hard work! Naming a "thing" versus a "who" is much easier, but still no real walk in the park.

I was gonna name the new bike "Ted". I'm not sure the reasoning right now, but it made sense at the time. But it just didn't FEEL right. This bike is more than a TED. And it is certainly a female.

So I stared at the bike for a while, and thought about how it made me feel. I thought about how I feel like a kid on her, and how everything feels right when I'm on that bike. I am SUPPOSED to be on that bike!

I looked around for some naming ideas, and knew it when I saw it:

CORAZON.

It means "heart" in Spanish. And the bike makes my heart beat with joy when I'm on her. Not only that, but when we partied after my cancer treatments, we partied with Corazon tequila. Which was fitting on so many levels.

I couldn't NOT call the bike Corazon. But... it didn't roll off the tongue as well as I'd like. And after all, what do I call her for short? Cora? Zone? Raz?

So I discussed it with some co-workers, and decided that I loved the concept of "corazon", but not the name.

This got one of my co-workers to do some research, and found the true new name.

"Heart" in Spanish is "Corazon". However, "heart" in Swahili is "Moyo".

Anti-climatic? No. Moyo is the perfect name, and when I say her name, it will remind me of my friend Nanky Seoke - an amazing woman I met from Botswana while riding across Montana. Nanky taught me a few words in Swahili, including "dumela!", or hello.

Dumela, Moyo. My heart is full.

2010-06-05T20:52:00.000-04:00

Class

Sometimes - if you're lucky - you have a chance to do the right thing.

Much has been written and discussed regarding this weeks' near perfect game by the Detroit Tigers' Armando Galarraga. Much has been written and discussed regarding umpire Jim Joyce's blown call. But if you paid attention to the whole story, you will have noticed the undercurrent that flowed through it... class.

The city of Detroit gets no breaks. It's true, the city isn't an easy place to live in. Detroit receives potshots, but also gives potshots. It's a tough city.

But there is something that pops its head up now and again, and it often comes via sports...

Yes, Detroit has class.

Much has been said in past years regarding the Detroit Red Wings, and their captain Steve Yzerman. No one in Detroit would argue that the man oozes class. Current captain Niklas Lidstrom is the same way.

Sports give a city a chance to show its' class. Armando Galarraga and Jim Leyland showed a ton of class when Galarraga's perfect game was stolen from him. Did they whine and bitch and moan like we see so many times today in sports?

No. They were disappointed, yes, but they recognized something that we tend to forget about.

We're human. We make mistakes.

Over the last few years, the city of Detroit has been taking it on the chin. This week, the Detroit Tigers had a chance to do the right thing. They had a chance to take the national limelight and show the city's mettle. And they shone like the sun.

If I ever have the chance to do the right thing, I pray that I can show the class that Galarraga, Leyland, and Jim Joyce did.

If the limelight shines your way, how will you act?

2010-05-29T11:00:00.000-04:00

Every Little Memory

8 years ago this weekend, I saw Parliament Funkadelic at the Detroit Electronic Music Festival (DEMF). I went with my brother, and friends, Scott and Michelle. I had just completed my 2nd chemotherapy treatment of 8.

I didn't feel great, but I didn't want cancer to change the way I lived. Ironic, considering it changed my life more than any one event aside from birth.

3 years ago this weekend, I was in Deer Isle, Maine, getting married to an angel.

I hope I never truly understand why I have been so lucky in life. Lucky to be married to such an amazing woman. Lucky to have survived cancer. Lucky to have such great friends. Lucky simply to be alive.

Yesterday, my angel was by my side when I went to see my oncologist. I like having her come to these appointments with me because:
1) She has a great relationship with my doc;
2) She knows what questions to ask (even though she doesn't always tell me what they mean...);
3) He answers her honestly;
4) She is sometimes a buffer;
5) And it's nice not to always see an oncologist alone.

So yesterday, Dr. Parikh, Sheryl, and I spent a lot of time talking about Sjogren's. This is a good thing. At this point, 8 years out of treatment, I want to blame all of my ails on Sjogren's, and not Hodgkin's - or any other cancer for that matter!

Every thing spurs a memory for me. This Memorial Day weekend spurs those thoughts first and foremost.

As my wonderful wife lies sleeping in bed, I think, too, about blessings. Memories and blessings. I've got a lot of both.

Sheryl, thank you for making my life more meaningful. And I mean that from the bottom of my cold heart, hands, and feet.

Have a great weekend everyone!

2010-05-22T21:19:00.000-04:00

When I was a kid, I used to play and play and play until the streetlights came on, or until mom called us in for dinner. I loved playing. I loved being with my friends.

I loved summer nights, and playing all night long.

I was reminded of my childhood this week - I was blessed with the opportunity to ride my bike to work. I was like a damn Cheshire cat! And so I rode to work and back - 13 miles round trip. Afterwards, I worked on the yard - weed-whipping, mowing, etc.

And man, I had stuff to do! But while watering the plants, I realized that I was whupped! In fact, I felt just like I did when I was a kid - I was excited to be playing, yet my body was beat... my legs hurt, and my mom can concur that my knees used to ache like nobody's business!

So, this week, I was a bit depressed that I wore out so easily. It's the stinkin' Sjogren's... the same thing that doesn't let me shed a tear or spit without medication.

I came into the house, grabbed a handful of Motrin, and slugged it down with a dirty vodka martini. An hour later, my knees no longer ached, and I was ready to go to bed.

Tonight, as well as every other night, I love my life.

I just wish I had a little more stamina. Ummm... make that A LOT more stamina!

2010-05-17T22:30:00.001-04:00

Our First Time

Well, it was a very busy weekend, and for the first time in four days, Sheryl and I are not spending time with Rey and Amanda, Aaron and Cheryl, Mike and Brenda, Shane and Lori... and John and Katie, Ron and Kathy, and it feels a little odd.

On a weekend when I was proud and honored to stand up in my cousin's wedding,
On a weekend when I introduced Sheryl to the remainder of my aunts and uncles,
On a weekend when I had so much fun...

We had our first time.

Van Morrison's "Into the Mystic" was playing. I was never a big fan of the song until only a few years ago, but here I was, arms around my beautiful, amazing wife, looking deeply into her eyes, and kissing her gently...

For the first time...

We danced.

2010-05-07T08:30:00.000-04:00

“A Fan from Ferndale, Michigan got that one!”

Last Sunday, Sheryl and I went to the Tigers game with her brother, sister in law and nephew. After the game, her nephew was able to run the bases, and it was our first chance to ever get onto the field at Comerica Park.

It was exciting for us – probably as exciting as it was for her nephew. The line wound throughout the seating areas, and we had a chance to take a lot of pictures.

As we were filing out of the park, I had Sheryl stand next to the statue of Ernie Harwell, and took her picture. I took another with her and her nephew – and Ernie’s statue.

Little did we know that a few days later, the Detroit legend would lose his battle with cancer.

Everybody in Detroit knows Ernie Harwell. Everybody has an Ernie Harwell story.

And like everybody in the last 50 years who has grown up a baseball fan, I remember Ernie’s iconic voice calling the games of my childhood.

Oh, what a legend the legend became, though! People fell in love with Ernie Harwell because whether he knew it or not, he was with them through thick and thin. Through love and death. Through happiness and sadness. Ernie was always there.

Ernie Harwell went gently into the night. He went with the type of kindness and warmth that you would expect to see in a Buddhist monk. Ernie was a man just like any one of us. But through his legend, he became more than all of us.

People lined up outside of Comerica Park to bid farewell to the icon. The line existed for 15, 16, 17 or so hours. Grown man after grown man cried. People took pictures. Hearts broke.

Baseball is a game. Baseball announcers are just doing a job. But sometimes – and here’s your proof – one man can make a difference in his world. One man can cause tears of love to wash the streets of Detroit. One man is still just a man…

Unless you’re a legend.

The Righteous Brothers sang that “if there’s a rock and roll heaven, well you know they’ve got a hell of a band.” And if there is a field of dreams somewhere in Iowa, those ghosts now have one heckuva announcer.

I never met Ernie Harwell, but I am really sad that he's gone. Rest well, young man. Rest well!

2010-04-28T22:08:00.000-04:00

Shuddup and holla!

Just got done watching the film "It Might Get Loud" - a documentary of a guitarist summit. Jimmy Page, The Edge, and Jack White traded stories and riffs.

Wow - freaking amazing!

If you are lucky, there are moments in your life that inspire you. I've been having a lot of those lately, but I haven't yet taken the time to let them sink in. I hope that time will come soon, but it is also very possible that that time has already slipped by.

Nonetheless, this film was an inspiration. Watching these three amazing musicians interact, and come up with their own sparks of creativity made me giddy.

I wanna be like them, yeah, you know I wanna be like them...

2010-04-26T22:01:00.000-04:00

Big Bill and the Curtain Girls

My godfather died the other day. We weren't close at all. In fact, I hadn't seen him in approximately 1.3 bazillion years. Until today.

Out of respect for him, and for my cousins, I went to the funeral home. I'm so glad I did.

Once upon a time, my godfather was my uncle. After he and my aunt divorced, he became a ghost.

We have a large family, and a somewhat dysfunctional one at that. The last time that all of us were together was, well, I simply don't remember.

Within the last year, however, we have been seeing more of our family members. And one thing I have come to learn - I really miss my cousins.

It was such a thrill today to spend a little quality time with them. And as I left the funeral home, I felt melancholy.

Many of the cousins grew up together as kids. It was wonderful to have some of those memories come back.

Goodbye, Uncle Bill. You are in a better place. And for a moment in time, you brought some of us together. Thank you for that.

2010-04-25T14:18:00.000-04:00

Enough For Me

She said that life was consuming her will to sing like Billie Holiday,
And that the shiny orbs in her kitchen were old friends visiting, aching for a strong cup of coffee.
She put marshmallows in her shoes to keep bad odors away.
I asked her why she ate a tablespoon of honey before each meal,
And she laughed and asked me why I breathed.
Early in the morning, you could see her practicing yoga in the dew-covered grass, as the sun filtered through the trees.
She smiled at you, even if she didn't know you.
She invited all of her friends over for dinner once a month, and gave each dinner a theme.
Often, her visitors were required to wear costumes to the dinner,
And the wine flowed through wee hours.
Now and again, you could see her at the club in town, practicing her horrible DJ skills.
She knew her limits and checked out of the place before 10:00.
As I got to know her, I chose not to look too deeply into her psyche,
For this woman portrayed a life of pure, unadulterated fun.
And she loved deeply.
And that was enough for me.

2010-04-25T14:06:00.000-04:00

Robin Lee

Every now and again, I see a picture of the alternate life I wish I had - songwriter.

Last night, we went to see a Michigan singer, Robin Lee Berry, and she was the epitome of where my artsy side wants to be.

She mastered her performance - from singing dynamics to chord changes. She was a story teller, and wove charming stories amongst her songs of life - joy, sadness, inspiration, and rejection.

I always wanted to live within a community of story tellers and song writers. The magic and vicarious life, unmarred by the rush rush of business.

The irony is that the magic of that life is still integrated within real life. There is no way to avoid real life.

So the hauntingly lovely life that I see in my minds' eye will always be out of reach. And that's not all bad, because I love the life I have.

2010-04-21T12:27:00.000-04:00

Tha Prez

Yesterday, while mowing the lawn, I found myself thinking about presidents.

Former president Clinton recently visited with the Miami Dolphins, and everyone seemed happy and excited. I thought about which president I would like to meet.

The answer was not simple. As I realized, there were many presidents that I’d like to meet. And the reasons are as varied as the men themselves. There is a thread, though, that seemed to link them. I would love to learn more about the man and his ideals.

Because it is my game, I got to set the rules: I could meet each of these great men one on one, and have all the time I want with them.

Without further adios, in order of their terms:

Thomas Jefferson (1801-1809). I’d like to know his take on the country’s development during its early years. I’d also like to know what he would think about things going on today.

Andrew Jackson (1829-1837). Ever since I wrote a first-class report on Old Hickory in elementary school, I have been fascinated by this man. I’d like to know what he thought about the development of the country during his presidency, and I’d also like to ask him his thoughts on the civil war, which happened many years after his death.

Abraham Lincoln (1861-1865). I’d just like to know about his dreams for the American people, and how he dealt with the burdens he carried during the Civil War.

Teddy Roosevelt (1901-1909). Teddy Roosevelt was an explorer and a true American man. I’d just like to talk to him and hear about his experiences.

Franklin Roosevelt (1933-1945). In the realm of great presidents, FDR was certainly high on the list. Bringing the US through a lot of social change brought about by the great depression, and World War 2, I’d be curious to meet the legend, and talk about every possible thing under the sun.

John F. Kennedy (1961-1963). Was he as great as everyone says? I’d like to find out for myself. My grandfather had a picture of JFK in his office, and I was always impressed by the man in that picture. I wonder what he thinks about his death bringing about the death of American innocence.

Barack Obama (2009- ). I really believe that Obama has the interest of the American people in mind as he implements change. I believe that he may not exactly know the best way to get these things done. I want to meet him, talk to him, and find out if I am wrong in my beliefs, or if I am simply being bamboozled. I really don’t think that’s the case, but I would love to have a chance to find out!

As a result of meeting these current and former leaders, I like to think that I would be more patriotic, more understanding of the way this country should be, and perhaps be inspired to do something about it.

That wouldn’t be so bad, would it?

2010-04-18T14:17:00.000-04:00

Le Book de Face

Okay, okay, I know my posts are overdue. I blame facebook.

How many of you out there look at the book of faces and find yourself thinking: I don't care about your dog being lost - I don't care about how great shopping was - I just don't care!!??

Well, I do it - a lot - and I don't want people to feel that way about my blog.

So, when there really isn't a lot going on inside my bean of a noggin, I don't post much. I'm sorry, I really am!

So what on my plate these days?

Well, we are eagerly anticipating going to see the Tigers this year - as of now, we're going to see five games. We're also in the middle of the most wonderful time of the year - HOCKEY PLAYOFFS! And... the NFL is having their draft next weekend - and yes, I CAN'T WAIT!!

Sheryl and I are looking at new couches, trying to catch up with friends now that spring has sprung and we've awoken from hibernation, and Sheryl made some killer pulled pork overnight!

We're looking at timeshares, looking at vacation to the Crossroads festival in Chicago, and an extended vacation to the South at the end of the year.

Lots of great, exciting things coming up - especially with the nicer weather! Whoo-hoo!

So hopefully, that's a little more exciting than my dog being lost or Kohl's having a wicked awesome sale.

Maybe I'll try to be a little more relaxed and appreciative of facebook entries...

2010-04-02T19:31:00.000-04:00

Hello Moon, Hello Sun, Hello Clouds, Hello Fun

Last two days in Detroit have been gaw-jus! Partly sunny and 80.

So who can guess what I did yesterday and today?

If your answer included "frickin killer bike rides", you, sir (or madam), are correct!

Yesterday's first bike ride of the season turned out to be 10 miles in 42 minutes. Yowza! Felt it today, but not bad enough to stay off the bike!

Today's ride, 11 miles, 47 minutes. Yay!

You could say the rides were perfect. Or boring. Or uneventful. Or just right. Or all of the above.

Nonetheless, I don't ever recall starting a season with back-to-back 10 mile rides. It feels good to feel so healthy - huzzah!!

So now I sit, listening to the birdies singing. Out on the deck with my angel of a wife snoozing next to me. She barbecued some killer Delmonico steaks for din-din tonight. Mmmmm...

Great way to start the season! Must be Hella-Good Friday!!

2010-03-19T23:34:00.000-04:00

Dropping the Tre'

300 posts. Right here, right now. Who thought I'd speak my mind so much?

When I started blogging, I felt it was a way to keep my writing chops fresh. I had all sorts of ideas about things I could write about, and at the time, I had the time.

I started blogging in 2005... the same year I met Sheryl. Sheryl likes to credit her Gramps for our meeting. Ironically, Sheryl's grandfather died five years ago today. So milestone blog #300 seems to make sense. As such, I dedicate this one to yet someone else I would have really enjoyed meeting - Sheryl's grandfather.

Before I realized that this was Nr. Drei Hundert, I intended to blog about the HILARIOUS "Fluxus with Tools" event I witnessed yesterday.

A fluxus originator, Alison Knowles, performed with her daughter, Hannah Higgins, who is an art scholar.

Fluxus, as I have mentioned, I find HILARIOUS. I sat through this show grinning like a Cheshire cat, as Alison and Hannah gave us a taste of Fluxus (and salad, and a spaghetti sandwich...). I will never see a show like this again, and I'm so glad I went.

When I got home, I excitedly tried to explain it to Sheryl, laughing throughout... but I was the only one laughing. Sure enough, Fluxus gets lost in translation. Which is exactly what I feel fluxus is about - the viewer's experience.

Robert Fripp in King Crimson believes this - that a concert is about the now - the observer's experience. And every person, every observer, will have a different experience.

Frank Zappa felt similarly, I believe - that music is in the ear of the beholder. Music observed is a singular event.

In some ways, I find that amazing, and mind-blowing that every event I experience is my experience only.

But in some ways, I find that so sad. So lonely.

Millions of people can love the new Lady Gaga song, but why does each person love it? What are they hearing? Surely, they are not hearing the tortured cat that I hear. And although I may (or may not) enjoy an occasional tortured cat, I do not suspect I would enjoy listening to it.

Fluxus helps remind me of my individuality, whether I like it or not. Fluxus also makes me yearn for the ideology of what I envision as the true artist. The burned out artist. The person that Neil Young sings about in "After the Goldrush" - "I was lying in a burned out basement, with the full moon in my eyes..."

And yet, in a lot of ways, I see Fluxus as a bunch of drunks sitting around throwing out ideas for the next infomercial - "Dude, what if we came up with a vegetable cutter that you slapped... haha! yea, we could call it the slap chop! Haha! Get it? Get it?? Whoo-hoo! Pass the Nighttrain man, don't bogart it!"

Every moment, every sight. Every sound, every touch. It's yours. Take ownership of it. No one can take it away from you.

The scholars and life coaches tell us to live our own lives.

Dude, you can't help it!

2010-03-16T22:09:00.002-04:00

One of Them Days

You know, it was just one of them days. I was tired and cranky, trying to stay on the positive side of the fence, but it just didn't work out.

When I was sick, I vowed to myself that every day would be a good day. It was natural, and couldn't be helped, compared to pissing dark-orange Adriamycin, and aching my way through Neupogen shots.

Alas, today was one of those days when those dark days of chemotherapy were forgotten, and the occasional dark day of everyday life crept in. I'm not proud about it. Actually, I'm sad.

The nice part, however, is that I have those horrible memories to keep things in perspective. Tomorrow will be another day, and I can right my wrongs of today.

Something strange happened to me today, too, that makes me aware or celestial order.

I was invited to a Fluxus event at the DIA this Thursday!

I decided to go. I'd like to share the event with my amazing wife, but it might be better that I go alone. When I come home, I can tell her all the cool things about it, and leave the boring things out.

And since I mentioned her, I just gotta say, "man, I love that girl!"

So three cheers for tomorrow - and not just cuz it's St. Patrick's day!

I've got a few of those stories, too... maybe I'll share them soon.

2010-03-13T23:19:00.000-05:00

Mediartistry

When I was in my 20s, I wanted to marry music, art, and writing into an exhibition. I didn't (and still don't) know how it would happen, but I knew if it was supposed to happen, it would.

There are items in the DIA that tie a couple of the items together, but not all three. And much of the fluxus movement dabbled in combinations.

In the 90s, there was a big movement towards spoken word, which I embraced as a possible brother.

I am occasionally reminded of this dream, and the catalyst for today's memory is PBS' airing of Leonard Cohen Live at the Isle of Wight, 1970.

Holy crap, Leonard Cohen is talented! He uses words like Dylan, and music like Lou Reed. And he puts me in a place of comfort and imagery every time I hear him.

Oh, to be a weaver of words... carrying a basket of banter... ranting ravings of radical ridiculousness.

God bless those people who enhance our dreams, and who make those dreams more vibrant...

Hail the artist!

2010-03-10T23:25:00.000-05:00

Vibrations

I read a great article today. Just the fact that I had a moment to remember to breathe today was awesome, so this article was a breath of fresh air.

I remember my brother telling me that he said affirmations while in the shower each day, and I thought he was a freak. I still do, but he's my brother... I can say that about him! :) Nonetheless, I started to realize the power of affirmations, and tried to dabble in it.

Last July, Sheryl and I went on vacation to (N)Asheville. The Asheville area is very forward thinking and a lovely place to go. It's much like Ann Arbor, but in the mountains. While there, I picked up a free magazine from a spirituality store. Impressed by the concepts contained within, I read the magazine from cover to cover.

One of the articles was a very impressive article regarding affirmations. It was at that point, that I developed a list of my own affirmations, and read them nearly every day.

I really think it works. I feel that I have become a better person, and have attained many mid-level goals on my way to greatness.

And to be honest, my affirmations help me focus on what I'd like to accomplish every day.

So it was with this in mind that I read Yoko Ono's article.

Now I gotta admit, I'm somewhat of a Yoko fan. I loved her book "Grapefruit", and when I went on my "lost vacation" after my cancer treatments, I ended up at an art museum outside of Raleigh, North Carolina that featured an exhibit from none other than Yoko Ono.

I'm not sure why, but the piece that I loved the most at that exhibit was the telephone. A card next to the working telephone said that Yoko was the only person who knew that phone number, so if the phone rang, you could answer it, knowing that it was Yoko calling. I thought that was so cool!!

It was only last year when I realized that Yoko's style of art had a name. As it turns out, Yoko is a part of an artist movement called "Fluxus".

Ironically, I learned this at the Detroit Institute of Arts... one of my favorite places on the planet. My wonderful friend Leonard and I went to the DIA, and I saw a new exhibit, which I was immediately enamored with. And there was a piece on the wall... I said "Hey, man, look at this... reminds me of Yoko Ono's stuff." And sure enough... it WAS Yoko Ono's stuff!

Yes, if not for John Lennon and the Beatles, me and a lot of other people would never had heard of Yoko Ono. Yes, she will forever be linked to the breakup of the Beatles. But be open minded. Look at what she's saying...

Isn't it at least KINDA cool??

2010-03-06T22:39:00.000-05:00

Yer Head is Spinnin' (From a Loud Guitar)...

I love weekends. They are a time to recharge the batteries, and kick back and relax.

This weekend, though, hasn't quite been that way. We've been thrown off by little things.

It started Wednesday, and Thursday's 9:30pm departure from work didn't help. And yesterday... well, that was okay. A trip to the casino and the splurge of a buffet was awesome.

But this morning, we were up at our normal crack of dawn - awaiting the craftsman, who is doing some work on our house - moulding, flooring, insulation, and cabinet preservation. I'll tell you what. He was prompt, he was thorough, and he was awesome! Need some work done? We know someone...

We also made a trip to the tax guy. Once again, our taxes were all funked up. I'm not talking James Brown or Rick James or Parliament funk. I'm talking John Holmes and Linda Lovelace funked!

Fortunately, the damage wasn't too bad, but our heads were spinning. Round, round, baby right round... like a record...

And so it was, we came home, watched more TV, and ordered Tigers tickets. We're going to one game each in May, June, July, and August. Should be fun... wanna join us?

So our spinning heads lead us to right now. 10:30pm Saturday night. Sheryl in bed, me awake watching the original 1975 Rollerball. The original funk!

Tomorrow, we get back to it with more work on the house. And Monday starts a stressful week of work.

Wish I had my battery charger with me.

2010-03-03T21:59:00.000-05:00

Anxiety Slop

I learned something interesting today.

I received an e-mail from our customer at work ("the government") saying that there were some problems with the book we delivered and they wanted to meet with us to discuss it.

My first thought was that I did something wrong, and it really bummed me out for a little while. I felt that I let my team down, and that they would lose respect for me.

Pretty strange, huh?

As I took myself out of the situation (i.e., went to the shop to ponder my dilemma), I realized how ridiculous those thoughts were.

And where did they come from, anyway?

I realized that they somehow stemmed from childhood, and I need to please people. Somehow.

In this case, however, this meeting is exactly what I expected. My team did the absolute best that we could with the tools that we were given. I have been leading them properly. We just need to get a better understanding of what our customer wants.

This will be a great meeting, and I'm interested to learn how far we are away from what our customer expects from us.

I'm glad I had the presence of mind to think through my initial feelings... those thoughts seriously could have bummed me out for the rest of the day.

What did you learn today?

2010-02-23T08:38:00.000-05:00

Green

This morning, I decided to check out some music videos on demand. I thought I'd check out the new Rob Zombie video, and in no time, I found myself...

Jealous.

Yep. Jealous.

I have an awesome life. I am incredibly grateful for the blessings I have. But I gotta admit...

I think I could grow accustomed to a California lifestyle.

The video was shot in a home studio, with crazy paraphernalia covering the walls, floors, etc. I believe that this was Rob Zombie's actual house. And the sun was shining through big glass windows.

And I thought, "Sun? Wha-?"

And it got me thinking to the culture and lifestyle that I think is really cool - artists.

Now, I know that the lifestyle is not even close to how I envision it... Chevy Chase proved that in the movie "Funny Farm".

But I love the idea of having a big home office with big, bright windows that I could open to sunshine, even in the dead of winter. And in this big home office with big, bright windows, I could sit and write amazing stories about amazing people and their amazing journeys.

And I would make amazing money and experience amazing personal growth, and Sheryl and I would have our own amazing journeys that other people would aspire to have...

And maybe even be jealous of. On a cold winter morning.

2010-02-14T11:29:00.000-05:00

Dog Days

Okay, so the first couple weeks of August are considered the dog days of summer. Historically, this is because Sirius - the dog star - is prominent in the summer sky. But for me - and I might not be the only one here - I always used to feel like a dog during these days, panting desperately under the hot sun. In my neighborhood, the dog days of summer are evidenced by empty, post-armageddon streets, and constantly running air conditioners.

Now if August hails dog days of summer, I think that mid-February hails the three dog nights of winter. The term "three dog night" comes from a saying (and I'm paraphrasing here) - The night was so cold, it took three dogs to keep him warm.

Don't mistake the term three dog night for the band, although it is sorta nice to classic pop music our way through the winter - let alone this blog. After all, WWJD (what would Jeremiah do)?

Methinks he'd probably make haste towards someplace warm - which right now, as evidenced by snow in 48 of the 50 United States, is someplace mysterious.

In the meantime, I reckon I'll run the piss out of our furnace, and watch professional bowling on ESPN while trying to figure out what to do on Sundays post-Superbowl.

Happy three dog nights of winter, folks. Keep warm and bring joy to the world!

2010-01-29T22:34:00.000-05:00

ANXIETY

Do you - or did you - ever have a friend or family member who always made you feel a little dread every time you saw them?

I realized today that I have one of those people in my life.

The only reason this person is in my life is because I very possibly might not be here if not for him. And I think I love him.

I'm OBVIOUSLY talking about my oncologist.

This morning, I went to see Doc P, and I swear to god, I break into a sweat when he examines me.

The good news is that everything is good - just as we expect them to be!

The bad news is...

Hah! There is no bad news! Huzzah!

This year, I've decided to make an effort to be more gracious. And believe me, I am EXTREMELY grateful that my amazing wife and I are healthy. I pray every night that this can be so we can share many happy healthy years together.

So yes, Doc P, despite the mad love I feel towards you, I am still often deathly afraid to see you. As I told you today (true story!): You are one of my good problems.

My friends, live strong. Live well. And many blessings upon you all.

2010-01-23T06:22:00.000-05:00

Marco

When I was a very young boy, I had a friend named Marco. Marco was a cool Italian kid whose parents had surprisingly Irish names - Pat (his mom) and Lucky (his dad).

Now however Lucky Marco's dad was is debatable. My luck isn't.

My luck used to run either hot or cold. Until I met Sheryl. Since that moment, my luck has run about as good as good could get!

And so it is with complete gratitude and humility that I wish my wonderful wife a truly happy birthday.

Call it lucky, call it blessed... whatever. I am the one married to an angel. It says so on her wedding ring (and not "Gai Pan" like we were afraid it said!).

Happy birthday punkin. Thank you for all the good you've brought into my life. I pray that we celebrate many, many more of your special day!!!

I love you!

2010-01-17T23:26:00.000-05:00

Faces in the Crowd

It has been quite a strange few days.

Not long before my dad died, he attended his 30 year high school reunion. He had a blast.

Just prior to my 10 year reunion, I had heard that the 10 year was filled with everyone puffing out there chests, and maintaining old cliques. But the 20th, I'd heard, was everyone bemoaning failed marriages and such. But the 30 year was where everyone had come to understand their lot in life, and people got along great.

Nonetheless, I attended our 10 year reunion. And it pretty much sucked.

So I skipped the 20 year (actually, I wasn't invited, but I could have gone if'n I wanted to). And lately, I've been thinking to hell with all that crap. I would be happy not attending another reunion at all.

So along comes Facebook. And I'm still feeling like I don't want to see most of the people I went to school with. However, without really noticing, all sorts of mini reunions have begun to occur.

The other night, I was chatting with someone I hadn't heard from in 25 years. And out of the blue, I get e-mails from people whom I had forgotten I was close to.

And today, I met with a high school friend whom I hadn't really chatted with since our senior year in high school.

It's a mind-blowing world in which we live. For sure.

For now, I'm happy with these mini reunions. I could still give a shit less about seeing everyone. Time changes things, though, and as long as you go into it with open eyes, there's really a lot to see.

I wonder what wonders tomorrow may bring...

2010-01-16T12:51:00.000-05:00

One

It's a lazy saturday. I'm getting ready to do my workout. My wife, whose birthday is a week from today, is in the office doing office-work-type-stuff.

I had an interesting day yesterday. I interviewed two people for a job at work, and hired one of them. It was the first time, however, that I had to tell someone that we went with someone else. That was sad. But, we have someone in house who will definitely help. The person originally in that role could not be counted on, and that really sucked.

So for now, I am enjoying the quiet of this lazy saturday. In a few moments, my ADD will kick in, and I will be running around the house like a kid on a sugar buzz. So many things to do, and so little quiet time.

Hmmm... nothing more exciting to say. For now.

2010-01-06T21:57:00.000-05:00

What's new?

Alright, so over the weekend, I spent some time transferring some of my vinyl to digital. It is so refreshing to hear some old, old REO Speedwagon (Flying Turkey Trot, anyone?), and some of the crazy stuff I used to listen to in high school.

Sometimes, it makes me nostalgic for the past, and sometimes it makes me wonder what's coming next.

And sometimes, I can hardly think straight because I am working a lot these days.

Music soothes the savage beast. Soothe me, Blue Oyster Cult, soothe me, Paul McCartney, soothe me Debbie Harry...

So what's new with you?

2010-01-03T00:56:00.000-05:00

Hello America!

It is 2010, and I read my horoscope for the year. In a nutshell, it said that all my hard work will pay off this year.

I sort of laughed at it initially, but I also sort of know it already.

My life has been weird. I have gone through a lot of crap, but I have also had some of the greatest moments in life.

But the one thing I have always had, was a positive way of looking at life. I have always known that things will work out as they should. And so far, they have.

It's true that I do occasionally get jealous of people who haven't been mauled by the family dog (January 18, 1977), or those who haven't had cancer (2002), but I don't think I can be blamed for that. And you know, overall, I realize that they should be jealous of me.

Survivorship is the ultimate in hard work. On TV, Survivors have to eat rats, worms, and other things just to win a million dollars. Hell yeah, that's tough stuff, but real life survivorship helps you realize that life is so much more than all the drama yo mama can handle.

I have worked very hard my entire life. And it has paid off.

It helps that I am lucky, too. Not multi-million dollar lottery lucky - not yet at least - but extremely fortunate.

I am blessed to have the family and friends that I have. I am lucky to have found someone like my wife. And although the stars may hold my future, I know that hard work will pay off.

So in 2010, as I work hard to see positive results, I wish the best and greatest love and luck to anyone out there reading this. And even those who aren't.

2009-12-25T13:56:00.002-05:00

Oh Holy...

Sheryl and I went to Sheila's house last night for a Christmas Eve visit. We had a very nice time, met some very nice people, and we are extremely thankful for the mysterious (and not so mysterious) forces that brought Zakk and I back together after so many years. To say I am humbled to be so blessed on this Christmas day does not give the words justice.

2009-11-26T00:05:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving

It's not quite Thanksgiving, but I wanted to blog before a potentially crazy day confronts us.

Thanksgiving brings me many fond memories... particularly pumpkin pie, pumpkin pie, and the year that pumpkin pie. Come thanksgiving, though, I always remember my Grandma Rodgers. She was a great woman, and having been born in the "Nineteen-oughts", she was around during the great depression, and shared stories with me about those days.

Grandma was cool, and she loved to follow my life excursions. I think she really would have loved Sheryl.

Sheryl is whom I am most grateful for. Not just at thanksgiving, but every single moment of my life. Grandma Rodgers was a very religious woman, and I have no doubt that she had a hand in bringing this angel to me. Looking back on my life before Sheryl, I see my life going nowhere. My life has changed drastically since, and it's all been amazing.

I am so fortunate and thankful that Sheryl agreed to marry me back in 2007. The way I feel about her should not be a surprise to her. In fact, Sheryl and I both try to live lives of gratitude - where we recognize how lucky - how blessed - we really are.

I hope that all three of my readers have a most wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving. "..If you can't be with the ones you love, love the ones you're with..."

2009-11-25T08:05:00.000-05:00

Thanks 2B Given

I am always thankful for my mother. Not only are we son and mother, but good friends, too - a true blessing!

2009-11-24T08:13:00.000-05:00

Gvng Thx

Now this process gets easier. There's no thinking involved in these last few days of giving thanks. Although this exercise is coming to a close, don't think I ever cease to be grateful.

Today, I am thankful for my brothers and sister. I am thrilled that they are in my life.

2009-11-23T07:55:00.000-05:00

Danke

Today I am thankful for my health. Although I am not the healthiest 43 year old, I am grateful that I am healthy enough to live a happy and productive life. Plus, I can still do almost everything that I still want to do.

2009-11-22T00:50:00.000-05:00

Giving Thankz

Sitting here, with the night winding down, it is after midnight, and a new day.

So today I give thanks for dreams.

Dreams, like hope, can change the world. They can make life magical and mystical.

Don't stop dreaming. Dreaming is free.

2009-11-21T16:35:00.002-05:00

Givin' Thanks (2day)

Today, I am thankful for second chances.

2009-11-20T08:58:00.000-05:00

Giving Thanx

A couple of weeks ago, an anomaly showed up on a check of my social security number. So I requested a credit report, which I pored over last night, making sure that everything was in order - and it was. While looking at it, however, it was easy to see when my being laid off for nearly two years finally caught up to me. Seeing those numbers in black and white were something of a slap in the face, and a reminder of how close I was to losing my house.

Now that Sheryl has been living in that house with me, it definitely has the feeling of a home. And although we are so ready to find a home together, I am incredibly thankful that I still have a roof over my head.

2009-11-19T08:02:00.000-05:00

Giving Thanks - More!

Okay, today I am thankful for my sense of humor. It has helped me get through some very difficult times. My sense of humor also makes my wife laugh and smile, and that means so much to me.

2009-11-18T07:46:00.000-05:00

Giving Thanks Again...

Today, I give thanks for my former bosses and mentors.

Melissa and Mark recognized my abilities, and gave me a chance to prove myself, which in turn, gave me a shot at my current job. I am extremely grateful for that.

Duane, George, Murf, and even my Dad were amazing mentors. They saw my potential, and worked with me to help me become the man I am, and helped me obtain the knowledge that helps me be successful in my endeavors.

2009-11-17T08:40:00.000-05:00

Giving Thanks, part two

Today I give thanks for my heart. It works hard to allow me to ride, live and breathe, which in turn allows me to enjoy my life.

2009-11-16T22:51:00.000-05:00

Giving Thanks

Yesterday, my mom and I were talking about this thing she is doing on Facebook, where she gives thanks for something different each day until Thanksgiving. I thought this was an interesting concept, and thought I would give it a try - although the likelihood of me posting every day is ummm, not very likely. :)

It's been a blah-type evening here at home, and now that my eyes feel like pissholes in the snow, I am waiting for beautiful, wunnerful sleep.

Each night, when I go to bed, I say my thanks for three major things: the opportunities given to me and Sheryl throughout the day that has passed, the time I was able to spend with Sheryl, and for our friends and families.

This evening, as part of this little experiment, I want to give thanks for Dr. Carbajo, my general practitioner who really seems to care about me and my health. Through my interactions with him, I can hope to spend more time on this earth, in hopes of achieving something truly great.

Dream big, my friends...