45 (Revolutions per Minute)

"...Bells are chiming and tears are falling
It creeps up on you without warning, 45..."
- Elvis Costello, "45"

In June 1982, I went to my first concert: Blue Oyster Cult, with Aldo Nova opening.
To my frenzied 16 year old mind, it was a Dionysian orgy of guitars, drums, lights, and fun, fun, fun.
The next day, I walked my ass to driver's training - the 6-10am course.

In February 1998, I remember my step-dad (and overall wonderful man) announce "Today is the 40th anniversary of my 21st birthday".
And we rousingly toasted his health.

In October 2002, I celebrated the end of chemotherapy and radiation treatments at home with my mom, my aunt, and my uncle, drinking beer and watching the Red Wings on TV.
That day was my life - day zero.

Not being a parent, I found myself wondering tonight if by my celebrating my birthday, my mother actually celebrated every single birthday of my 45 years.

In a way, it could be like the Tralfamadorians in Kurt Vonnegut's book "Schlachthof Fuenf" - Slaughterhouse Five - where they saw humans as centipedes - each year was a section of body... the head was the oldest version, and the tail was the youngest.

Does that happen as a parent? Do you not celebrate each year of your child's life, but rather EVERY year of your child's life?

I'm 45. I've made the "45-54" age bracket.

My life is not as exciting as it used to be, but it is even more fulfilling than ever before.

I never thought I'd see that day, yet I can't wait to see what the next day brings.

For those of us in the Western hemisphere, tomorrow brings us summer.

Finally, my old friend has come home for a visit.

45.

When I'm 44...

I just read a little article in Wine Enthusiast magazine about Miranda Lambert. Whoever she is.

In the interview, they asked her the question: What would your 16-year-old self think of yourself now?

It made me think that this would be a good blog post.

Today, Sheryl and I went to a graduation party for one of her cousins' kids. It was nice. We had a lot of fun hanging out with her cousins. It was sort of like sitting at the kids table for Thanksgiving. I received some kind words from Sheryl's Aunt, and we laughed. A lot.

My 16-year-old self would not understand the nearly 45-year-old version of himself. In fact, the 30-year-old version of me wouldn't understand me.

The 16-year-old me might enjoy hanging out with me, but that's not a given. I was still trying to figure out my way through high school. Still trying to deal with the kids I went to school with. I don't think the current version of me could really tell the 16-year-old version of me anything that would stick with the 16-year-old me. No advice. No wisdom. Nothing.

That's how closed-minded I was at 16.

The 30-year-old version of me would like the current me, but wouldn't spend a lot of time with the current me because the 30-year-old me was out looking to party most of the time. I was still 4 years away from cancer. 4 years away from changing my neurotic mindset. And 7 years away from meeting my future wife.

7 years from changing my life - for the better.

My 16-year-old self would not have enjoyed today's graduation party. My 30-year-old version would have had a few shots beforehand. And my nearly 45-year-old self recognized that there are things you will be a part of that you never expected.

What is the most important piece of advice I would give my 16-year-old self?

Don't be afraid. You can do anything, and will accomplish a lot. Enjoy the ride.

The most important piece of advice I would give my 30-year-old self?

Don't try to force things. Everything comes about at the right time. Just make sure that you are in the best possible position when that door opens.

To all my other selves: Be gracious and appreciate what you've got.

God knows there's a lot in life to appreciate.

Days and Days and Days...

Last weekend, Sheryl and I went to a bar to see a musical duo - half of which was a former patient of hers. Had a nice time seeing Mario play. And since Mario and I are brothers-in-disease, it was just plain good to see him and talk to him.

That's something about the cancer survivors that I run across. We have a different point of view on life, and it's something that doesn't have to be spoken about - you see it in their eyes, hear it in their voices, and feel it in their touch.

The next day, we went to visit with our friends, whom we haven't spent much time with in a long time. Over wine and cheese, we caught up with stories, advice, and memories.

Life is built on weekends like that.

The workweek, on the other hand, was brutal. As a result, I took today off.

My day was essentially filled with a lunch date with my cousin and yes, an amazing bike ride.

The 13.6 mile ride today added to the 12 mile ride I did in yesterday's 100 degree heat. As usual, the rides did wonders for my head and body.

This weekend will be spent at the ballpark, with my mom and Bill, and with Sheryl's relatives.

I can't wait to see what life will look like on the other side of these next few days...

Take Me Out to the Ballgame...

Had a tremendous evening at the ballpark today. Had a crappy day at work, went to a doctor appointment, then went to the ballpark.

It was warm and sunny. Sheryl was in the process of getting her second Tiger's autograph on her mitt when the sky opened up.

It poured like Noah built an ark!

After a while, the rain stopped, and the game was postponed only 30 minutes. It was a nice night, and the sky gave us some cool pictures.

So here I sit, watching the end of the game - we left after six innings - and I smile, knowing we had a fabulous night at the ballpark, and got our salsa bowls, too!

Take the Revolution

There's a call for revolution
On the streets, throwin' beats
People don't see colors, just brothers
Thumpin' bass, dollar chase
Mos Def be the name of freedom
A show of strength, miles in length
Power to the people, the steeple,
God bless the children and mothers,
Wives, sons and brothers.
The life I need to show, I hope I don't blow
My chance to dance trance perhaps.
Can we focus on the prime, the locust of time
The scourge of man, I'm not a fan,
But I can stand hand in hand with my fellow man
And determine the digital linguistics
Statistics, the will of the mystics -
All around the world, they twirled like flags unfurled
Spinning like Rumi, sue me if you can't name that tune, me,
I try to report the retort from the resort
And the battle in the streets the deet-tails which without fail
Cause me to stumble, bumble, and mumble
mmmmmmmmmmmm
Are we awake or asleep yet?

First - Again!

Tonight I experienced another first. I attended my first wine tasting.

The event occurred at the Cloverleaf in Royal Oak. I had an absolute blast learning about some 50-60 wines. Ironically, I found that the wine tasting was much like the tequila tastings I have with my brother and uncle. Fortunately, I was able to try more wines in one night than I would tequilas!

I would like to thank the Cloverleaf for making me feel like I deserved to be there. Yes, I spend a lot of money there, but it's purely selfish...

I truly have come to enjoy wine. I never thought I would, and never thought I would. Basically, I never thought I would.

It has definitely been fun, and tonight opened my eyes to different types of wine drinkers, tasters, and snobs.

What a real treat!

For the record, I brought home two bottles... of something that was not even offered during the tasting.

Strange, strange world we live in...

Who

In 2008, I totally believed that the world was going to change. President Obama was inspiring as he took over the presidency.

But nothing happened.

I don't know, is it me, or are we totally lacking inspiration these days?

I saw a commercial on CBC while watching some hockey. It was awesome, talking about what a great country Canada is, and can be. It got me wondering about the topic of inspiration.

We take an awful lot for granted here. We are looking to lower our deficit, get our economy on track, and yet, our elected officials are polar opposites, and cannot agree on anything.

We need someone to step up and inspire us. We can be great, and I feel like we've lost that. Where is the great American dream, where are the real leaders? Who has the guts to make things magical again in this country?

It's time, isn't it?

Fonzie's Favorite Letter

With 37 points to spare...

Aaaaaaaaaa...!

What a relief!

What's Your Opportunity Cost? 

So... it seems like it was a million years ago when I started my economics class. You will remember that I took this class for... ummm, the heck of it. Because I was intrigued by what I could learn.

I started off well enough. I studied hard, did pretty well, attended every class, did all my homework, blah blah blah.

And then I started my new job. Oy! Who woulda figured that a simple job change could wreck havok on a class???

My grades plummeted, but I kept fighting through.

Still, my desire to ace the class carried me through. I continued to work as hard as I could, and as football players say, I left it all out on the field.

Tonight, I attended my last class - prior to next weeks' final exam. If I could swing an 85 on tonight's test, I figured I would have an A - regardless of the final (aka, I wouldn't have to take the final!).

I had not taken a few points into account, and ended up needing 43 points. Now remember, this was for an A. I already have a B locked up.

Well, I still don't know how I did on the test, but I will find out in a few days. The bottom line is... even if I get a B... I don't think I'm gonna take the final.

I learned a whole lot in this class regardless of the grade. And the sad part is that I really am glad it's over.

Come on A!!!!

Who's Your (insert patterned big cat here)?

Who's my Tiger?

Not sure, but Fabian Cancellara is DEFINITELY my Leopard! Holy cow!

Happy Paris-Roubaix!

Today is the first time in a decade that the weather in the D has been nice enough to ride on the same day as the Paris-Roubaix race.

So I whipped out my Moyo, donned the Bacon socks, slipped on the helmet, and off I went!

The first thing I noticed was that the winter hasn't been too bad to me. I'm still in decent shape since I last rode, and day-um, it felt gooooood! Yeah, the butt was a little sore, the legs were a little tight, but 7 sweet miles and 30 minutes later, I was itching for full-time sunny summer days - sigh!

It was obviously the first ride of the season - the dirt and crap on the road hadn't been cleaned up, and the roads stunk of winter garbage. But the itch in the back of my throat when I drew in a deep breath, and the chirping of the cardinals told me that it's almost time.

Mmmmm... good stuff man, good times.

With the Paris-Roubaix race on Versus at 7pm, I jumped in the shower, opened the windows, and I'm sitting in the recliner watching the Tigers get their asses kicked. I suppose it can't all be perfect, eh?

Tomorrow is a holiday of sorts in the D - opening day. It has taken almost 15 years for me to give a crap about baseball again, but my wife has succeeded in making me care.

There's nothing better in life than seeing my wife smile, and at this years' Tigerfest, I was in my glory watching her enjoy herself. For our anniversary, we were originally planning on going to Cooperstown, but instead opted for a Tigers 28-game season pass.

And starting tomorrow, we'll be lurking in section 321 behind 1st base. Come by and say hi. Buy us some hot dogs. Or Cracker Jacks.

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. Opening day means that Spring is truly here. And we have seriously struggled with Winter this year.

Anyhow, we'll see you crazy mamma-jammas tomorrow - you'll recognize us with our Tigers duds from head to toe.

Bless you boys and all the rest of ya's.

Good to see the boys of summer in our neck o' the woods!

I am Leopard-Trek

George Clark gave me a book many, many years ago, called "The Snow Leopard". Along with the book came some wise words: Go seek your snow leopard.

Last night, Sheryl and I went to see one of my uncles. He was the only member of my family to be in Vietnam, and I remember like it was yesterday when he came home, and came to our house to visit. I was your typical excited kid, demanding his attention, showing him all the crazy things kids think of when they are trying to keep a special someone's attention.

I am now twice the age at which he came to visit us those many years ago. And this uncle had recently had a heart attack, and as I think about it now, I am elated to my core that he survived.

Survival is a big part of my own story. And I tie survival to bicycling - for some strange reason.

And then there's my cycling guru, whom I have recently heard that he's got a new struggle on his hands. And as happy as I am for my uncle Vietnam, I am crushed about my cycling guru.

My cycling guru and I love the amazing talent of Fabian Cancellara - who is now riding for the Leopard-Trek team. I can't wait to watch this team ride in the Tour de France.

But the only thing I think I would enjoy more is to be with my cycling guru and watch them race.

It's a strange life.

My new job is a new trail that I've never been down before while following the scent of the Snow Leopard.

My uncle and my cycling guru are the yin and the yang of life that happen.

Leopard-Trek is exciting, yet ultimately minimally meaningful.

And I can't wait to see what comes next on the trail.

Seek your own Snow Leopard.

Sometimes you're the bat, sometimes you're the ball...

No shit... It's been a rough week. Really rough, in fact. My poor wife has had to deal with a bear every night that she's seen me. I guess that's what angels do...:)

So this rough week, I think, spawned a night last night of fantastic dreams - but not necessarily good ones.

The earliest part of the dream that I remember had me at a party - much like a frat party. The room was all in black and blue and gray hues. Except for the blood. Someone was stabbed, and although I saw it happen, I was in a bad place, and had to pretend that I was cool with it (although I was horrified!).

I was free of blood on my hands and clothes, but my right shoe was splattered with it. I tried to kick the bloodied black shoe aside, but there was no escaping it. I needed to reclaim it before we torched the building down. Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to ensure I left no prints behind...

My gang drove our badly battered cars to the headquarters, where we entered huge wooden doors and walked into a large, expansive ballroom with wood floors. Wandering the ballroom was a lion and a mini Phil Collins (think "petite giraffes").

We went to the bar and ordered whiskeys, talking about the kill. I knew I was clean, and the rest of them were going down...

And I turned around, and dreamt about being outside in an English-type garden. Talking to a school marm looking woman, I suddenly became aware of a central theme during the dream - a phrase that came up often...

A phrase I woke up repeating as a mantra because I knew it was going to be important to my real life.

When I got out of bed I wrote it down:

"This is your rewrite - the story will become whatever you make it."

Wrapped around a tough week such as this, that dream mantra helps keep things in perspective.

We all have the power to rewrite the story that is occurring around us. It is up to us to decide how it's going to end.

My wife, she's blazing
So freaking amazing
She's my blood and my breath
I truly am blessed.
She's the yin to my yang
I'm the pop, she's the bang
She's the yang to my yin
The sword to my pin
I am the talk
She is the walk
I am the bed
And she is the spread
Without her, I'm a flag
With no pole, I'm just dragged
She gives me flap
A flag with some snap
On my salad, she's my dressing
She's my greatest blessing
I'm grateful to have met her
To have kissed her, and wed her.
My blazing wife.

What inspires you?

Who inspires you?

With a world full of Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan news, it's easy to forget that there is more in the world that can inspire us to be better people.

Today was a sad day for me, but for all the right reasons. It was my last day at my "old" job. I start my new job in a couple of days.

Days like today, though, are good days to learn how much you have meant to others.

I have tried to inspire others to become bigger than themselves, and I was fortunate to see that come to fruition with a former co-worker. I inspired him to cycle, and now he inspires others while teaching spinning classes.

How cool is that?

It was a good day that included a stop at one of my favorite wine shops - Cloverleaf.

But most importantly, I love how my wife keeps me grounded.

Who can you inspire?

How much effort are you willing to put into it?

Rockin' A Friday Night Like It's Only Hours Before Saturday!

Okay, 10 years ago, if I would have said:
It's 8pm, my wife is still at work, so I'm rockin' the Sounds of the Seasons channel (playing House Beats during non-seasonal times), sipping on some wine,
I probably would have asked you to shoot me.
Funny how times change.
My mom is walking the Broadwalk in Hollywood, Florida, and had to text me to tell me what a life she has.
Man, it's all good.

Sure, I wish it was me taking a night walk outside in Southern Florida, but I'm glad someone I know is... even as we look forward to more snow tonight (this February has been the 2nd snowiest on record - ugh!).

I don't mind that I'm sitting home listening to Sounds From The Ground and Dark Globe.
I don't mind that I'm swigging wine.
I love being married, and I love my wife.

I love that the Detroit Tigers are starting real Spring Training games.
I love that spring is 4 sundays away, and the time change is 3 sundays from now.

I love that I am starting my new job in just over a week. Man, I've got a lot to learn!

It's a great life.
I didn't know that 10 years ago like I do now.

And by the way, sorry, unless I know you're coming over after dark, I am not answering the door.

Timeout

I just wanted to take a moment to say how proud I am of my wife.

She's had a tough week this week, but she's keeping on keeping on, wearing her brave face.

She's doing great things, and I love her for not losing her head and being the amazing woman she is.

Addy-Ose!

It's been quite a few weeks. I can officially announce that I am changing jobs.

Oddly enough, I attribute this job change to the experiment I conducted in December. At that time, I worked to open myself to infinite possibilities. One of those possibilities happened to come in the form of a number of phone messages from a company that wanted to talk to me about a job.

When I realized this as an opportunity knocking, I listened.

A few weeks, a bunch of interviews, and a lot of anxiety later, I will be starting a new job in March.

Wow!

It should be a blast - I'm so excited to see what I can help this company accomplish!

This naturally takes nothing away from the job I'm leaving. I love the job, I love the people I work with, and I love the paychecks. But opportunity is calling, and I gotta see where it's gonna lead me.

Now all I gotta do is shake this stinkin' cold, and I'll be truly champing at the bit!

(...)

I've been sick to my stomach all day. To find out a tragedy such as friends of mine losing a child to a perfect calamity leaves me terribly sad. And I can't even cry about it.

When I was sick, they were there for the highs and lows. Although he was my mom's boss, he was aware of all that I was going through. And when I completed my treatments, his band played at the party my mom threw for me.

Here we are, just over 8 years later, and though I haven't seen him and his wife in quite a while, I hold them close in my heart.

I am horrified and deeply saddened that such a cruel turn of events has befallen them. Wonderful people, they are, and truly undeserving of such sadness in their lives.

I truly hope that the lesson that needs to be learned as a result of this is a good one, because it's just grossly cruel. Although my eyes cannot cry, I feel like my heart weeps.

Whether you knew it or not, young man, you touched many lives. Godspeed to ye, laddie.