The Tide is Turning, Sylvester...

Well, it certainly seems like my life continues to change. With this job I'm at, I am constantly changing locations and hours. The days are getting longer, and there's that itchy feeling that spring is right around the corner.

I feel like things around me are refusing to stand still... that I can't plant my feet firmly on the ground. And that tells me that my life is in the middle of evolution.

I can't say that I'm comfortable with that feeling, but I do feel a sense of reuniting with an old friend - change.

See, with the struggles I've had over the past year or two... or should I say LIFE or two... I feel that the building blocks of my life we being broken down... only to be rebuilt - better, faster, stronger.

Nearly every day, I feel happy and sad. I feel strong and weak. And nearly every day, I feel that I'm on the brink of some brilliance, and I'm one step further away from the rut I was in for so long...

Whatchoo been up to, Willis?!

Yeah, I know, it's been AGES since I last blogged. Whatever could have been keeping me from blogging?

Work.

Yep, I said it.

Work.

I have been working for nearly four weeks now, and I have finally gotten into some sort of routine, which allows me to do stuff besides work and sleep.

That said, how about them Olympics?

Is Chad Hedrick an ass, or what? Did Bode Miller suck because he wasn't wasted? The Austrians were! The US hockey team has once again shown how lame they can be. Granted, I love a lot of those players, but come on, our hockey program can't suck THAT bad!

Speaking of suck... what's up with the Canadian hockey team? Did they forget how to play, or did Janet Gretzky bet against them?

Lots of stuff has been going on.

Our tai chi has been kicked up a notch. Sheryl and I have quickly become favorites of our instructors. It's probably because they yell at me so much. Thankfully, Sheryl was the one they yelled at today!!

So the job I have isn't exactly what I'm looking for, but it's something for now. It's a step forward, and although I did a lot of bitching about it at first, it could be a lot worse. For instance, I could be forced to watch figure skating 40 hours a week... or even 20 minutes...

Hopefully, as I continue my search for a job from Nirvana, I will have the time to blog a bit more.

Until then, may your life be filled with all great things...

Some haiku for you (so don't be blue... and tie your shoe)

Chew, chew, chew
Your eyes are so big
Stomach's not

#########

I smiled in your eyes
Reflecting my love for you
You smiled back in mine

########

Avoid disaster
Use your turn signal, you jerk
You won't see me rage

########

Tired, so sleepy
I must stop dreaming so hard
Eyes too tired to shut

#######

I write rhymes
Ain't pimpin' the words
Ho-etry

Sweet Home Ferndale

When I worked in Northville, MI, I was making enough money to buy my own place. Finally, "a place for all my stuff"! I had dreamed about having a place to call home for ten years prior to that.

My uncle recommended a real estate agent, and although I wanted to stay on the "west side", the agent took me around the Royal Oak/Ferndale/Madison Heights area. I looked at 5-7 houses when I decided on the one I eventually bought.

I live on the border of Ferndale and Hazel Park... one block from I-75 and a few blocks from I-696. Although the location is close to the freeways, I don't really get bothered with much noise.

The neighborhood is quiet - there is a park on the corner from my house. The neighborhood is safe - cops patrol the area regularly - there is a park on the corner from my house.

Ferndale is an awesome place to live. Often treated like the red-headed stepchild of Royal Oak, it has sprouted into a respected community.

There are areas that one can tell it's been settled for quite a while, yet there are many areas of new development.

Ferndale's "main street" has been evolving constantly for the last 10-15 years. The "cross roads" of 9 Mile and Woodward are nearly complete in their renovation. This area, which lies 2 miles from my house has become culturally diversified and a great yuppie hangout.

There are standard restaurants such as Maria's Back Room, but there are many other great places to eat within a mile of the 9 Mile and Woodward intersection.

Ferndale even as its' own microbrewery - Woodward Avenue Brewery - and a national act drawing concert theater in the Magic Bag. Yup, you guessed it, they are both within crawling distance of 9 Mile and Woodward.

Every winter, the city of Ferndale hosts the winter freeze blues festival - and this year, for the super bowl, they will have 50 bands performing over the course of 10 days.

Yep, Ferndale has been a great place to live. With lots of trees and parks, the city is just like the city you remember growing up in. Only different.

Why Should You Hire Me?

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about dream jobs. I love writing, I love coordinating and planning, I love the technical side of things, and I love coming up with ideas.

I always wanted a job where I could put posters on my office walls, sit on the couch in my office, and throw my "idea ball" against the wall while trying to sort out a tasty problem.

So far, that hasn't happened.

But today, while I was out for a walk, I started thinking about how much I enjoy writing. I decided that this blog was the best way for me to practice and hone my chops.

So my first project is based on the concept of an interview (It's a concept because I'm not frigging getting any!!!)... more particularly the question: Why should we hire you?

I should be hired for a number of reasons:

First, I am extremely dedicated to my work. The more I love the work I do, the more dedicated I am. I'm hungry. Hungry to prove myself - to you and me.

I love to set goals for myself in the workplace. If I say that I can get a project done in two weeks, I bust my butt to get it done in a week and a half.

I believe in earning my money. With me, you don't pay for cigarette breaks. You don't pay for water cooler chit chat. You don't pay for extended lunches.

In return for that paycheck, you will receive an employee who masters tasks quickly and completely. In fact, if I have a fault, it's that I often refuse to ask for help. Not only do I want to try and figure things out for myself, but I also feel that bugging a manager is wasting corporate money.

If I do have a problem and have to see the manager, I try to have a couple of options on hand for how to resolve the problem. To me, that shows that I am working to be part of the solution - not part of the problem.

My dad was a workaholic. I saw it kill him at 48 years old. I will not be a workaholic. However, I will do the job to the best of my potential. You will get 100% of me. Nothing less.

Although I don't like to chit chat at work, I do have great communication skills. My personality is engaging, and I have no problem relating to people of any rank within the corporation. I believe in communication. I believe that in order for a company to be successful, they need successful communication - both internally and externally.

In all of my jobs, I have been successful in the communications realm. Most notably, when I worked in Germany. Once my co-workers saw how passionate I was about immersing myself in the work and their culture, they bent over backwards to help me out - whether the issue was work related or not.

In another job, I threw myself into a project and ended up stepping on someone's toes. She got really bitchy to me and often complained to my boss about me. I didn't realize what was going on until a co-worker mentioned it to me. As the toe-stepping was completely unintentional, I had to figure out a way to resolve the situation.

Although she had already tainted a lot of my co-workers with her complaints, my co-workers and boss chose not to step in between us. They knew that both of us were actually right, and we were getting things accomplished despite the situation.

One day I decided to take her out to lunch - to get away from the job and stand on neutral ground. Once we began talking about the issue in a non-threatening environment, we quickly and easily resolved the issue.

So, as you can see... I am passionate about my work and am willing to think creatively to resolve problems. I immerse myslf in my job and earn my pay. I have a lot of ideas and enjoy communicating them.

I would be a huge asset to your company - as I have for every other company I worked for. None of them wanted to get rid of me. Circumstances dictated my leaving in every case.

So the question now becomes: Why wouldn't you want to hire me?

Old is new is old is new again...

With gadgetry changing so quickly these days, how do we put ourselves at the head of the curve?

I have recently been given some amazing information for newspaper/media jobs. After doing a little research, I realized how quickly things are changing in this world.

I was a communications major in college. There, I learned the rules for formatting and style. I learned that even though you were expected to use your imagination, you had to color inside the lines. That was in the late 1980's.

Nearly 20 years ago.

Today, I was reading about how to apply for a newspaper job. And there was still the formatting and style questions. The same ones that were asked 20 years ago.

So I began to wonder how newspapers could really stay in business. With CNN, MSN, the internet, PDAs and such, how many people actually read the newspaper these days?

As a result of this realization, I decided to blog instead. My blog has no rules, no lines to color inside, and no boxes to think within. I can be as creative as I want, I can say what I want, and I can potentially reach a larger audience than any newspaper.

Except I don't get paid for this, and for all I know, I have an audience of five people... or less.

So the question still remains... as a writer who doesn't like to color within the lines, and doesn't appreciate the sensationalism of Paris Hilton, or preying on people who just had something shitty happen to them... is there a future in writing in a print publication?

Maybe it's time to seriously start looking back into my old dream of travel writing...

Spiffy Smithing...

Tragically, magically
I saw it on TV
Drastically, spastically
I wondered, could it be?

Darkly, sparkly
The moon had turned blue
Mystically, statistically
I turned my thoughts to you

Purely, demurely
You burned in my mind
Lovely, above me
Magically inclined.

We are here
And we are now
It's just like this
And that is how

It will be
For time plus one
Because right now
This is done.

Being (Like) Ernest...

A sweet summer breeze gently blew through my window.
I sat, squinting in front of my laptop,
Looking for a word that rhymed with "silver".
I often wrote my own obituary,
It always had the same ending, but everything before it was different...

My favorite was the one where I lived the final 40 years of my life
In Ernest Hemingway's haunted mansion in Key West.
It always brought me visions of me and Ernie talking about how humorous it was to be famous.
Because, after all, to live in Ernie's mansion, I'd have to be famous, too.

Yes, it's a sick thing to write your own obituary,
But who else would appreciate the nuances of your life
More than you?

How do you know when you've achieved your lot in life?

When I wrote "Cancerboy", I felt like I accomplished the thing that I was meant to accomplish in my life. Since I am still alive, it's obvious that "Cancerboy" wasn't my sole purpose.

Tonight, I re-watched "What the Bleep Do We Know?" - a phenomenal movie about quantum physics - and it's got me in a rare mood.

This week was an interesting week. A friend of mine had an incredibly rough week - a beloved uncle died, followed by her grandmother. This friend and I had a disagreement the week before, and hardly spoke to each other since. Just last night I learned about the uncle dying, and I feel terrible.

It's things like these that help us realize what is important in life and what isn't. Is it more important to hold on to what you think is right at the moment, or to nurture your relationships?

We had a scare this week with my brother. He's still undergoing tests, so we're still not exactly sure what's going on with his body, but - again - it's times like this when you ask yourself if your concern is claustrophobic, too little or coincidental. Having gone through cancer, I know that it's always good to know that people are thinking about you, so that's the route I've decided to take.

Last night after we had a successful night at darts (12-3 for those scoring at home), Sheryl and I were watching "Most Haunted" on the Travel Channel (I LOVE that show!!) - when all of a sudden, there was a huge BOOM!! We freaked out, immediately hoping nothing happened to my house, garage, or the neighbors.

I checked outside, seeing nothing. My neighbor appeared, checking things out as well. I was pissing cold rain, and neither one of us saw any damage. So we went out to the back yards, where I noticed a plume of smoke in the near distance. My neighbor said he was going to try and find where it was coming from, and I invited myself along. Soon enough, we found the culprit - as did the cops and firemen - a garage in our neighborhood had exploded and was on fire. I just hope no one got hurt...

So if there is anything to learn about this week, perhaps it's to be true to yourself... particularly when it comes to loving one another.

And to not blow ourselves up.

The future is ours to create, so let's make it better than good, okay?

We drank Irish coffee to keep the cold outside.
Bundled to our noses in our blankets,
We sat on the couch, sharing stories of our youth -
When we were young,
When we were indestructible,
When we had the world by the balls.

The phone ringer was off
The doorbell disconected
The only distraction was the tasty jolt of caffeine.

I met her at the Church of Barmixology -
She experienced the magnificent enlightenment of absinthe
While I extolled the praises of tequila.

That night, I later found out, we both worshipped the porcelain god on different ends of the street.

And here we were, weeks later, listening to Bob Dylan on vinyl.
Each pop, each scratch, prodding memories -
Memories to share.
Memories to hear.
Memories to make.

She left at 2pm as the sun appeared and warmed the house,
Melting snow from the roof, dripping from icicles.
As she stepped out the door to walk the six driveways to her house,
I felt as if we were on the verge of something amazing.

I just got off the phone with her -
I finally got up the nerve to ask her out.
She agreed, telling me that the other day,
As she stepped out the door to walk the six driveways to her house,
She felt as if we were on the verge of something amazing.

Feisty...

Although my credit score is crashing faster than stocks on Black Friday, I'm feeling kinda feisty today.

I've arranged for two interviews on Monday and a couple of others seem to be just below the horizon, on their way up. Could it be - Good things coming my way?!?! Whoo-hoo!

As such, I thought I'd pass along some of the music I've been trying to catch up on lately. During my walks, I've been listening to Tao te Ching (as I mentioned before) and The Art of War (GW obviously spent too much time partying and not enough time reading!). That's fine and dandy, but I can't get enough of my iPod and am always looking for new tunes.

My favorite newly discovered music by far is Goldfrapp. Allison Goldfrapp's music is cutting edge electronica mixed with her beautiful voice, wrapped up in a catchy tune. Ah, but don't get fooled. The catchy electronic stuff is contained in her last two albums - Black Cherry and Supernature . She has another album called Felt Mountain , which contains mostly vocal acrobatics drifting across less appealing music.

Alec Empire has released a couple of hardcore DJ/electronic CDs in the vein of old, old Nine Inch Nails. While NIN has lost their bite, Alec has definitely sharpened his.

Today, I am giving The Campfire Headphase by the Boards of Canada a try. So far, it seems pretty cool in a lazy dreamy rainy day sort of way. Speaking of dreams, Sheryl and I will be selling DVDs of the dreams I've had this week. You know, the ones where we met Lance Armstrong, the President of the Czech Republic and Jerome (The Bus) Bettis...

I digress... anyway, other music I will be giving a listen to in the near future: Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!, Spoon's "Gimme Fiction", Electric Six' "Senor Smoke" (includes a cover of Queen's Radio GaGa) and the Strokes' "First Impressions of Earth".

I used to rely on Detroit's public radio station, WDET, for new music worth listening to. However, they f'ed up the programming, and none of those new music shows are available as they were for the last 20 years or so. Now I know why those classical music purists whined so much when the clasic radio station here went kaput.

Don't get me wrong, I think that we need more groups out there that sound like Pearl Jam and Nickelback. We need more boy bands and sugar pop music. We need more rappers talking up the bling bling. After all, without all those unoriginal wannabe's, we can be manipulated easier. Who needs to think? Who needs creativity?

Come to think of it, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain... or the new music I mentioned. Let's just grab a Happy Meal at McDonald's and play with our free plastic Disney movie toys.

I warned you that I was feeling feisty!

One of these days, it'll all make perfect sense...

True - so far - to one of my 2006 goals, I've been on the move... working out, walking and starting some tai chi.

I've actually been doing tai chi on and off for about 10 years - but I learned from a video, and I was interested to see how "real" training occurs. So the opportunity became available, and Sheryl and I jumped. Not literally, mind you.

Yesterday's first class showed us essentially one move, and already it is different from the version I learned on video. The class we're taking for the next two months will take us through the first 16 moves... the first 16 of 103...

For years I've been incorporating Eastern philosophies into my Catholic upbringing. I have studied different beliefs in order to better understand the world and people in general.

So for my walks, I've downloaded a couple of books for my iPod. Yesterday, ironically, I finished the first book - The Tao te Ching, a classic book on taoism... which is generally practiced by those who perform tai chi.

After listening to the Tao te Ching for the first time, though, I wasn't sure about my original belief of Taoism - that the potentiality of "the uncarved block" was all it was cracked up to be.

In fact, I think I even muttered out loud - "huh??"

It's obvious that I'll have to give it another listen. Next on the listening list, though, is Sun-Tzu's "Art of War".

Gotta Love George...

Today I was leafing through the Eastern Michigan University alumni magazine - it's something I don't spend much time on. It seems that just because I busted my ass and graduated from there, that I should feel priviledged to give them some money. Let's not forget the more than $20,000 I already gave them, which has led to my spectacular meteoric rise and equally meteoric fall in the job market. Let's not forget that when I released "Cancerboy", I e-mailed the alumni association to see if they could help me advertise the book around campus. Their response?

There was no response!

Anyhow, I shouldn't be too harsh on my alma mater. After all, today they gave me a rush - a rush of well-being and happiness.

On page 18 of the alumni mag, was a picture of one of the most amazing and influential men in my life - George Clark.

George was my accounting professor. He helped me learn a subject I cared nothing about. In fact, he made me LOVE a subject I cared nothing about.

As his student, I would visit George during office hours and we would talk about life. We would talk about success and effort. We would talk about philosophy and problem resolution.

After I graduated - no doubt as a result of George's influence, George and I remained friends. When I got involved with corporate training, George and I would meet for lunch and end up discussing educational tools and ways to mess with our students' minds. We had a lot of fun talking with each other.

George passed away in 1999. The last time I saw him, he helped me decide to participate in the 2000 Alaska AIDS Vaccine Ride. I was scared to death of the ride, but George exuded confidence and pride in me. I knew I had to sign up.

George and my step-dad Duane died within a couple of weeks of each other. I loved both of them immensely - and still do.

The tough times I am going through right now - being without a job and all - are really wearing me down. Through experience, I know that I just have to continue rolling with the punches, and that even a blind pig finds a truffle now and again... But it was seeing George's face on page 18 of the EMU alumni magazine that truly gave me a lift.

George, I love you, man... and I miss your knowledge, your insight and your friendship terribly. Thanks for reminding me that you're around and looking after me.

New Year, New Altitude...

Happy new year, everyone! I hope the holidays were amazing, and everyone has kept their new year's resolutions so far!

A long time ago, I stopped making new year's resolutions. Instead, I come up with new year's goals. I am excited about the potential of 2006. During the holidays, I finally came to the realization that I've been feeling like a victim of the shitty luck I've had in my life, and nothing helped point that out more than "Cancerboy". Although "Cancerboy" has been an extraordinary source of satisfaction, it also shoved some things into the spotlight that I didn't expect would still affect me so profoundly.

And altough cancer has given me the amazing gift of perspective, I feel like I've been a bit out of whack since my diagnosis and treatment.

The beautiful thing is that 2005 brought me Sheryl, who has both knowingly and unknowingly helped me identify and understand these things and regain a sense of balance.

As such, I am snarling, showing teeth and prepared to take 2006 and make it my own.

The first step, of course, is getting another job. I need to position myself for success, and although I'm still trying to figure out how exactly to do that, I've put the concept in motion by becoming aware of it - and reminding myself about it every day.

What else am I shooting for in 2006? Planning a successful charity bike ride to raise money for Gilda's Club. In order to do this, I need to get myself back into shape as well. After all, if I am lucky, I will turn 40 years old in 2006. Over the holidays, my brother Dean said that after 40, the body goes downhill fast. If that is true, I want to have my body in the best position to go downhill. This was also my attitude going into chemotherapy, and that apparently did me good.

These are my immediate goals for 2006 (I've also got dart goals, but I won't bore you with them!). The nice thing with goals is that you can add to them as the year goes on. I don't like standing still, so you can imagine that I will be constantly dreaming up new ways to throw my life upside down!

And so everyone, I wish you peace, health and happiness in 2006. May you attain all of your goals and all of your dreams...

Come on, Dick, drop the ball... PLEASE!!!

Okay, we've established that not all things in 2005 were bad. One of the most exciting things for me was marketing "Cancerboy".

So as I eagerly await a brand new year, let's reflect on my favorite "Cancerboy" moments:

6. Book release - I mentioned this in my last post... how exciting to publish your own book!!
5. Mirror article - The 3/4 page article was a lot of fun to show around.
4. Ferndale library book reading - Even though 5 people showed up, it was exciting to discuss my book and field questions from the audience.
3. Lewiston library - In honor of my grandfather, who lived in Lewiston, I donated a copy of my book to the library. It so happened to be on the day that they were putting together the time capsule, and have a friends of the library party! Wow! Too cool to be a coincidence!
2. Book signing Memorial Day weekend - It was incredibly touching for so many loving people to come out and support the release of "Cancerboy".
1. Gilda’s Club book reading - This single event changed my life. To sit and talk about the devastating events in my life to a roomful of people, then point out how each event helped make me a stronger person was in-freaking-credible. This was a butterfly leaving its' cocoon moment that we captured on tape!

So this will probably be my last blog for 2005. I want to thank everyone who made this year more bearable, and everyone who came to my aid on so many different occasions.

May 2006 bring you and your loved ones much happiness, health and love.

Listing, Listing... part 2

Okay, seeing as that it is the end of a tumultuous year, I am presenting my top 5 worst events and top 6 best events of 2005. Tomorrow, I will be presenting my top Cancerboy moments.

Matt's Top Five Worst Events of 2005:
5. The war in Iraq - I hate the fact that this has been spun to the degree that if I question the war, I suddenly become un-American. Screw that!
4. Hurricane Katrina - I don't think that anyone will disagree... except for the face that it's not #1 on my list. Well, despite the happy holiday season, I'm feeling pretty selfish!
3. Hurricane Rita - Coming on the tail of Katrina, Rita did more damage in Florida than was covered by the news - which was still covering Katrina's impact in New Orleans.
2. Being out of work - See? I said I was selfish! With the employment being so shitty here in Michigan, no wonder so many college grads are moving out of state!
1. Having job for 5 weeks, then getting laid off - Talk about a tease! For me, this single event was comparable to getting knocked out by a Mike Tyson in his prime... I'm STILL reeling!

For me, in general, 2005 sucked. However, some amazing things still came my way.

Matt's Top Six Best Events of 2005:
6. Celebrating my birthday - After having had cancer, this will always be a highlight of any year!
5. Hamtramck festival - I hung out with my old friend Leonard, and along with Sheryl, we went to see the Hard Lessons. Great music and people who are very important to me... it don't get much better than that!
4. Trip down south/Tour de France w/ UJ - My three week excursion down South - Georgia, Florida and North Carolina, in search of work... and later in the year, I got to watch a stage of Lance's final Tour de France with my cycling guru Uncle Jack. Great memories.
3. Lilly’s birth/Mom’s surprise party - my niece was born while we were celebrating my mom's 60th birthday party. Now THAT is cool!
2. Publishing "Cancerboy" - I always wanted to leave my mark in life. And now that I am a published writer... registered with the Library of Congress... I think a mark has been made.
1. Meeting Sheryl - Hands down, the most influential (and positive) event of 2005 was meeting Sheryl. Being with Sheryl has taught me so much about myself and what I'd been missing in life. She hates it when I say this, but I wish so much that I had a job so I could treat her the way I think she deserves to be treated. When I close my eyes at night to go to sleep, I regularly thank God for Sheryl being in my life.

Listing, Listing...1, 2, 1, 2

Okay, so it's technically Wednesday and I haven't started my "Best Of 2005" lists yet... To catch up, I'm posting the first two tonight.

Here we go...

Matt's Top 5 Guilty Pleasures of 2005: (in no particular order...)
Survivor
Nip/Tuck
Biggest Loser
Pink is the new blog
Post secret

Favorite CDs: (possibly not released in 2005 and in no particular order)
Wilco - Kicking Television: Live in Chicago
Nikka Costa - Cantneverdidnothin'
Chemical Brothers - Push the Button
Gorillaz - Demon Days
Goldfrapp - Black Cherry (prior to 2005)
Zero 7 - When It Falls (prior to 2005)
Beck - Guero
White Stripes - Get Behind Me Satan (includes "My Doorbell", which Sheryl doesn't like) ;)
Eric Clapton - Back Home
Stan Ridgway - Snakebite (2004?)
Green Day - American Idiot

Bonus List:
Best Concerts of 2005:
Wilco (Meadowbrook Theater, June 21)
Stan Ridgway (Magic Bag)
Nikka Costa (Magic Bag)
Los Lobos (Tastefest, June 28)
Aerosmith (Palace of Auburn Hills, December 15)

Tannenbaum
Christmas 2005

Searching the lot for the perfect Christmas tree, I wandered amongst the pines. From the corner of my eye, I spied the perfect specimen hiding in the back.
Jingle bells jangled in my head while I bundled my coat against the winter air, making my way into the mini-forest of festive evergreens.
The wonderful pine aroma made my olfactory nerve dance, triggering memories from years gone past.
I smiled to myself as I remembered the holiday faces of my family – my mother, father, grandparents, brothers, aunts, uncles and cousins – smiling and laughing.
As I glided from one memory to the next, I suddenly realized that I hadn’t been paying attention to where I was going.
Somehow, I got turned around. I was lost!
I tried retracing my footprints in the snow, but it proved futile.
So I stopped and stood quietly – looking, searching – trying to regain my bearings.
There was a sound – the sound of something or someone sneaking up on me.
I pressed my back against a tree and raised my arms and leg – the crane pose.
– Heck, it worked for the Karate Kid, why not me? –
Standing statue-like, I saw a flash of something red beyond the brush ahead of me. Then a flash of green. And another!
I cautiously stepped away from the tree and made my way to the brush.
Peering through some branches, I saw what appeared to be a group of children decorating a Christmas tree. Even weirder – they wore long green jackets, caps and shorts!
I wiped my eyes, unsure of what I’d seen, and stepped a little closer.
“What do you suppose is going on?” a voice in my head asked. “What in the world are they doing?”
I froze, suddenly realizing that it wasn’t a voice in my head - somebody was speaking to me!
Shocked, I spun around.
Standing in front of me, was a familiar man dressed in a familiar red suit, laughing a familiar laugh.
“Ho! Hohohoho!” he snorted.
He was laughing so hard that I thought he was going to pee his pants!
“You should have seen the look on your face, Matt!” he chuckled as he wiped tears from his eyes.
It was happening again. It’s been happening nearly every year lately. I opened my mouth as if I had something to say.
“Come with me, son,” Santa said. He put an arm around me and led me through the brush.
“The elves and I are decorating a Christmas tree for the reindeer. We do it every year.”
“Ummm… why?” I asked.
“Because reindeer don’t have hands!” He held his belly as he laughed. “Ho! Hohohoho…”
I smiled.
“Anyway,” Santa continued, “I thought I heard something in the woods over there and went to investigate. You never know when you might run into a bear… or a crane! Ho! Hohohoho…”
I laughed. Obviously, he saw my awesome Karate Kid impersonation.
“So… Would you like some hot chocolate?”
“Sure!” I said, remembering last years’ velvety cocoa treat.
Santa stepped to a big red bag and pulled out a thermos and a huge mug. He poured a steaming cup of hot chocolate and handed it to me.
“How did I get here, Santa? I’m obviously not in the Christmas tree lot.” I looked around and felt a twinge of panic. “And…how will I get back??”
“Well, you might not realize this, Matt, but every time you have a happy memory of Christmas, it brings you closer to me. Were you having a lot of Christmas memories before I found you?”
“Why yes, I was!”
One of the elves had given me a handful of tinsel, and I began draping it over the pine branches while sipping the best hot chocolate I’d had in nearly a year.
“When you’re ready to leave, just let me know. I’ll show you the way back.”
“You mean you don’t mind if I stick around?!”
“Of course not!” Santa replied. “Besides, the elves have a hard time reaching the higher branches.”

So I helped Santa and the elves decorate the tree and drank hot cocoa.
Soon, however, my eyelids started getting heavy. I struggled to keep them open, but eventually gave into my weariness, closing them only for a moment – just to give them a rest.
When I opened my eyes, I was sitting in my car in my own driveway. Stupefied, I stepped out of the car only to find a gorgeous Christmas tree strapped to the roof!
I reached into my pocket for my keys and found a hand-scribbled note.

Many Christmas blessings, my friend… to you and your friends and family!
Share the magic of Christmas with them as you have with us. The reindeer love the tree!
By the way, I forgot to tell you that Mrs. Claus and I really enjoyed your book! You’ve got a real talent and we wish you great success!
Happy holidays… and remember… you better be good, for goodness sake!
Santa

I smiled and stuffed the note into my pocket. I unstrapped the tree and took it into the house.

Like a Reindeer in the Bikelights…
Christmas, 2004

I was lying on my back in the cold, wet snow,
Knocked from my bike by a deer in the road.
I was seeing stars in the still, black night, as I carefully reviewed my mental checklist:

Can you move your toes?
(Wiggle) Yup.
Fingers?
(Wiggle) Yup.
Feel the cool breeze on your cheeks?
Pause. That’s a 10-4…

My breath caught up with me,
And I gasped the frozen air into my lungs,
Coughing, coughing, coughing…

Stiffly, sorely, I stood up, brushing snow from my clothes.
I grabbed my battered bicycle, crawled out of the ditch, and nearly stepped right into

Huh?

I vigorously shook my throbbing noggin, and rubbed my eyes.
Strangely, Santa Claus was still standing in front of me!
As the high pitched whine in my head began to subside,
I heard him chuckle.

“Sorry ‘bout that, Matt,” he said,
“We always seem to run into each other this time of year, don’t we?”

“Santa?” I said incredulously, reaching out to touch his coat just to see if this was real.

He chuckled again.
“Prancer stopped to tinkle,” Santa explained,
“Unfortunately, you startled him just as he was getting ready to take off and rejoin us.”

As Santa waved his white glove towards the middle of the road,
I noticed for the first time, a sleigh and reindeer!

One of the deer stepped forward, and gently licked my cheek.
“Oh, look,” Santa said, “Prancer says he’s sorry.”

I patted the animal on the forehead.
“Sorry I startled you, Prancer,” I heard myself say.

Although I’d never before seen a reindeer smile, I’d swear Prancer did just that as he stepped back to join the other reindeer.

Santa looked at the sky.
“Beautiful night tonight.
But then again, Christmas is always beautiful…
Matt, we’ve gotta stop meeting like this.”

I laughed. I laughed so hard, I heard my voice echo through the evening air.
It was a great sound.

I saw Santa steal a look at his watch. I knew it wouldn’t be long before he had to leave.

“Santa,” I said, “I don’t suppose you have any of those amazing chocolate chip cookies that Mrs. Claus bakes…
I’ve been riding for a couple of hours and could use some extra oomph to get me home…

Santa smiled and winked.
“You made quite an impression on Mrs. Claus when you came to see us in North Pole years ago.
She asks me to check on you every once in a while, and every year, she asks me to drop off some cookies at your house.
Sometimes, though,” he patted his belly, “I accidentally eat them before I get to Ferndale.
But since it’s early, I still happen to have a few.
Come on over to the sleigh with me.”

I swung my bike around next to me.
To my amazement, my battered bike was as good as new!

When I turned to Santa, he was already holding out a steaming chocolate chip cookie.
“Would you like some milk to wash this down?” He asked.

I smiled.
“No thanks, Santa,” I said, pulling a bottle from its cage on my bike.
“I’ve still got a little… hot chocolate… in my thermos bottle?”

I shook the bottle. It was warm and completely full!

“Santa…” I began to ask.

“Matt, you have a good heart.
I’ve seen the things you’ve done throughout the year.
I sense the love you have within you – for your family and friends.
Mrs. Claus and I both admire that.”

I couldn’t believe my ears.

Santa continued:
“Share your love at Christmas; Matt… it’s the greatest gift you can give.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“Merry Christmas, Matt. To you, your family and friends.
You better get a move on, though; if you’re gonna get to your Mom’s in time to open presents!” Santa laughed.

I smiled.
“Thank you, Santa! Merry Christmas! To Mrs. Claus, too!”

I swallowed the last of the cookie with a gulp of rich hot chocolate, and waved into the sky as Santa and his reindeer took to flight.

Hopping on my bike, I clicked in my shoes, and danced on the pedals,
Fa-la-la-la-la-ing the final 10 miles home.

More Than Just Any Other Day
Christmas, 2003

As dawn approaches,
I sleep with the spirits of Christmas -
Who comfort me with dreams
Of Christmases past
And hopes
For Christmases future.

As I awake on another magical Christmas morning
- To the music of church bells and snowblowers -
I smile and stretch and rub my eyes.
I lie there, staring at the ceiling,
While childhood Christmas memories
Energize my mind.

After weeks of pre-Christmas stress,
I take a moment to acknowledge these memories
And realize that not just any day evokes these thoughts in my head.

It’s Christmas –

A day of love and joy and peace.
A day to celebrate family and friends.
A day to welcome the warm embrace of childhood mysteries.
A day when dreams come true…

I get out of bed, and wander into the kitchen.
On the table sits the plate of cookies I left for Santa last night –
Empty, next to a glass of half-drunk milk.

I smile, loving Christmas tradition,
And I notice the red voice mail light blinking on my telephone
- Although the phone never rang.

I dial the voice mail number.
“You have one unheard message…” the voice mail lady says, “First message…”

The voice of my dreams, my memories, my loved ones,
The voice of angels, of god, of Santa?
“Merry Christmas, Matt,”
The voice says, surprisingly overwhelming me to near tears,
“Merry, MERR-R-RY Christmas!”

There was no call on the caller ID,
And no name left with the message.
And instead of wondering who would have called,
I grin and hang up the phone.

Santa or god or angels,
Or the spirits of loved ones, my memories or dreams.
The magic of Christmas does funny things.
But that’s what makes it magic.
And that magic is what makes Christmas more than just any other day.