On my way into work today, I was thinking about my Dad, and about how happy I am. My Dad died 16 years ago in March, and for much of the last 4 years, I have wondered how my Dad would view my life and activities.

How would he have reacted to my cancer experience? How would he have reacted to my lack of job? My book?

The only thing I am sure of is that my Dad would have loved Sheryl. He would be happy for me where I am right now with my life.

I found myself thinking that I am possibly the happiest I have been in my life. I am certainly happier than I have been for quite a few years, that’s for sure!

Each night, I’ve taken to praying. I know that there are angels who surround Sheryl and I. And so I thank them for each day, and each opportunity. I even ask them to help me attain my goals, and to help Sheryl and I to stay happy and healthy for many, many years.

So Dad, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, I thank you for your patience and support.

One in a Million

I’m not usually the speediest person when it comes to new technology, but I eventually jump on the bandwagon. Just over a year ago, Sheryl gave me an iPod for Christmas, and only recently, I’ve begun listening to podcasts.

So far, I subscribe to three podcasts: Wilco, livemusic.com, and the NPR series, “My Cancer”.

Sometimes, I wonder why I torture myself listening to Leroy Sievers’ narratives of his cancer experience. Yet at the same time, I find myself sitting, listening intently, and nodding my head.

It’s a bittersweet experience – like reminiscing about a lost love, or a fond tragedy.

I’ve always said that I believe everyone’s got a story inside them. Some of us just have the ability to let it out. My story happened to come out via “Cancerboy”, and through this blog.

Last week, I was surprised by a box that came in the mail. It was from a friend of mine, whom I don’t see very often. Yet, when she found out that I had been through the cancer experience, she was moved to tears. In the box, I found a LiveStrong coffee mug. My friend said that she saw it and thought of me.

At that moment, I was forced to think about how we impact other people. I never think of myself as having much influence over anything, but by sharing my story, I influenced and impacted the lives of others. Yeah, it may appear obvious to you but how many times do you think about how you impact others yourself?

Leroy Sievers is doing that, too. He’s sharing his story and making an impact on peoples’ lives. I listen to his story because it connects me to all of the other cancer survivors in the world by reminding me where I’ve been, and that we are never really alone.

I am...

On a whim, I decided to Google myself. Yeah, it sounds perverted, but whatever...

While glancing through over 20 pages of Matthew Cummingses, I learned important things about me.

For instance, I am currently attending Marshall Univerity. I ran two or more marathons. I am a police officer in two different cities in different states. I am not only a writer, but I am also a photographer and an actor. I am a high school basketball coach.

Not only that, but I simultaneously live in Pennsylvania, California, Virgina, West Virginia and Texas - in addition to Michigan and England.

Although I am going to school at Marshall, I already have a degree from Iowa State, Brody School of Medicine and Case Western Reserve College.

I am an administrator for the Yellow Pages, a spy, and have appeared in many newspaper stories.

Strangely enough, I was also a participant at the Battle of Bunker Hill (I was always a survivor!).

I am a glass blower and attend Edinboro University.

Essentially, I am everything that I want to be.

So the next time you ask yourself, "who am I?", drop by Google.com - you'll be surprised at how much you've accomplished!

Ticking Time Capsule

A couple of years ago, I had a picture taken of me, which was placed in the Lewiston , Michigan library time capsule.

If I had an opportunity to put together a time capsule of my life so far, here is what it would likely contain:

* A picture of me (as a baby), my mom and dad
* One of many stories I wrote in 3rd grade… perhaps my report on Christmas…
* A baseball mitt
* A bicycle
* A prosthetic nose
* A bottle of Hefe-Weizen beer
* A bottle of tequila
* A box of 1974 Topp’s baseball cards
* “Cancerboy”
* Darts
* A Gilda’s Riders jersey
* My concert tickets
* A picture of me and Sheryl
* An iPod programmed with my fave tunes

There are a million things that we could hope to put in our personal time capsules…

What would you put in yours?

Cold Weather Breakdown (Jan 2007)

I’m having a cold weather breakdown today. I don’t know how to explain it, but I am sick and tired of cold weather. It is all too easy for me to imagine a balmy 70+ degrees outside with humidity.

Yes, I am extremely aware that we’ve had a mild winter so far, and that the winter weather only truly hit us a few weeks ago, but that doesn’t help my angst.

I had an awful time getting out of bed this morning, and I can’t concentrate. I’m cold, although the room temp is 70 degrees. All I want to do is curl up in bed and sleep. And eat. And sleep.

My skin is cracking. My lips are cracking and my skin is drier than normal. I’d cry, but my tears immediately dry up.

Ugh! When is Spring? March 21??

Wake me on the 22nd.

Media, schmedia

Media sucks. I hate the spin that it puts on stuff, and I hate how powerful it is.

The other day, I realized that I was watching too much TV news. When I’m up in the mornings, I’m already grumpy. Then I hear stories about A-HOLES WHO DO STUPID STUFF. Interject some cutesy between-story banter and I am ready to VOMIT.

Why do I subject myself to that torture in order to see the weather and/or traffic?

Why don’t I go to accuweather.com, or weather.com? Why don’t I go to traffic.com, or autoclubgroup.com? Why don’t I use something else for eye candy while I eat my oatmeal?

I guess that is something to work on.

The local news isn’t actually my bitch for this blog. Rather, it’s the power of news.

The French news has long had issues with Lance Armstrong. They hated the fact that he dominated their Tour de France for seven years.

Rather than accept that the guy was talented, they blamed performance enhancing drugs.

That’s all fine and dandy… it’s in the past (I hope!). But just before the 2006 Tour de France, a Spanish news source wrote a story about how nearly all of the top-runners for the Tour were implicated in a doping scandal. 12 contenders were booted from the race.

American Floyd Landis then wins the Tour with an incredible stage victory in the mountains.

And what happens? French papers publish a story saying that Floyd was jacked on testosterone during that stage win. Floyd was immediately guilty and is still trying to prove his innocence.

A Spaniard named Oscar Pereiro is poised to step in as 2006 Tour winner if Landis’ appeals fall through. However, this week, French news reported that Pereiro tested positive during the Tour for ASTHMA MEDICINE.

Pereiro states that he was given authorization for his medication and can provide it. Unfortunately, the damage is already done. WHY is ASTHMA MEDICINE grounds for condemning someone before obtaining all necessary information? Are the French so insecure about their cycling program that they need to implement such devious tactics?

I’ll tell you this: I have ridden a number of long, agonizing rides in my life, and I give kudos to those who can RACE such long rides, let alone RIDE them. Jacked or not.

Yes, I said it.

Jacked or not.

What I do care about, though, is that good peoples’ lives are being ruined as a result of certain types of media. Whatever happened to fairness and Walter Cronkite-type ethics? Why have we become a society of pomp and flash? Of careless, non-responsible reporting? And most importantly…

Why does Fox 2 News give Al Allen all of the crappy stories?

Do angels have birthdays?

For years, a boy ran around town, having fun and playing.
He kept busy, as he never wanted to be bored.
There were two reasons for this:
1) He didn’t like to be bored; and
2) He was afraid that he’d realize how alone he was.
One day, while playing, a shiny light caught the boy’s attention and he failed to see the wall until it was too late –
WHAM!
The wall hit him like it was a ton of bricks.
Forget the fact that it really was a ton of bricks – you get the point.
Anyhow, as the boy laid in bed recovering from his wounds,
He began to understand how lonely he really was.

The boy wasn’t really sad, though, he figured that if he was meant to find someone special he would – whether or not he wanted to.
Once he healed, the boy decided to donate some of his time to a charity that helped others who ran into walls.
One day, while working at Builda’s Club, the boy was introduced to a kind-hearted girl.
They chatted a bit, and after they had gone their separate ways, the boy knew he had just met someone special.

But the boy had stuff to do… he had some playing to take care of.
And so he played and played a bit more.
One day, someone asked him if he kept in touch with the special girl.
He hadn’t, so he decided to e-mail her and say hi.

As things go, the boy and girl ended up dating.
The boy was selfish, though, and found that although he requested crazy things from the special girl – such as frog’s lips or chicken’s nipples – she found a way for him to have them.

At night, when the boy went to bed, he found himself wondering more and more:
Was this girl really an angel in disguise??

So when he saw her, he would look for clues:
Did she hide her wings? Did she have a warm, comforting smile? Did he feel best when he was around her?
And more often than not, the answers were “yes”.

The boy found himself falling in love… something he wasn’t entirely familiar with.
But she was patient with him… angels do that, too.
He asked her to marry him, and be his angel for the rest of his life.
She said yes.

Apparently, no one really knows if angels have birthdays.
On January 23, 2007, the world will find out for sure.

No matter to the boy, really.
It’s just another day.
Another day to make sure his angel knows how much he loves her.

Yes, he will possibly try to spoil her, too.
Maybe he’ll take her out to dinner.
Maybe he’ll take her out of town.
Maybe he’ll write a story about a little boy and a special girl
And tell the world that he loves her.

Happy Birthday, Sheryl. I love you, baby!

Having a Mid-Life Crisis?

Not me! I had my first mid-life crisis at the age of 11, when the family dog bit my nose off. The joy and fun of childhood ended then and there. From that moment on, I was an adult – and not a very happy one at that.

So I turned my anxieties into dreams and goals. I worked towards those dreams and goals, rarely aware of what I was doing. One day, BAM! A goal was achieved. Another day, BAM! Another one down! And so it happened: BAM! BAM! BAM!

Misery was displaced by achievement and satisfaction. Not REplaced, mind you… just DISplaced.

I focused on changing the world and being a good role model for my nieces and nephews. After all, I would never be a parent.

It was about that time that Thomas Hodgkin decided to hand me my second mid-life crisis: Hodgkin’s Disease.

I soaked that summer in chemotherapy and Neupogen, watching as my goals and dreams melted along with my cancer tumors. My misery magnified.

It grew and grew, magnified until the inevitable happened:

It imploded and ate itself.

Yesterday, I sat with a whole new life ahead of me. Today, I sit with a whole new life ahead of me. Tomorrow will bring the same.

29 years ago today, a little boy lost his nose and his innocence. He lost the definition of joy and unadulterated happiness.

But today, thanks to that little boy, and Thomas Hodgkin, I’ve allowed myself to lower the guard, to let Sheryl in, and as a result, I am happier than I’ve been for most of my life.

Arguments and Aggrievances

I used to be extremely passionate before I got cancer. I would argue about anything close to my heart. In fact, I once got into a bunch of trouble for telling my boss that the way he wanted to do something was asinine. I still think that, but I would handle things differently now.

For example, I busted my butt on my first project at the new job, and thought that the end result was awesome. However, the customer thought otherwise, and made suggestions that I feel “dumb down” the project. It’s pretty silly, actually.

However, they are the customer, and my response is “whatever they want” - whereas some of the people I work with are ready to argue for what’s already been accomplished.

The bottom line is that there is a time to argue, and there is a time to not. Cancer helps you to re-evaluate what’s important.

This is a common understanding with Sheryl, too. With her experience in the cancer world, she sees, too, what is worth arguing about and what isn’t. Sometimes, I will try to get her to argue with me for the sake of working something out in my head, and she won’t even bite.

Most times, when Sheryl and I disagree about something, one or the other will relent almost immediately. After all, is it really important to win the argument? Is it important to lose?

It all comes out in the wash, and usually, no good comes from heated arguments.

Should I be passionate about this project at work? Yeah, a little, but it’s WAY more important to me to keep this job.

Now before it is suggested that I am simply a candy-ass, let me ask one question:

Does it matter whether I am or not?

Not to me, it’s not.

Carpe' De Living Room

At 5:30am today, I sat, contemplating me – and why I do some of the things that I do.

See, I had been figuring out what I wanted to accomplish during the day ahead of me, and thought about what I had accomplished yesterday.

After I got home from work yesterday, I tried to achieve every possible thing I could before sitting down in front of the TV for the night. After all, once I get there, it’s tough to get back up!

So I worked out, I made a couple of phone calls, I took returnables out to the garage, I washed dishes… By the time Sheryl came home, I was mostly done with everything. And yep, sure enough, I sat down in front of the TV.

The weird thing is that I’m not used to having so much time on my hands. When I worked in hell, my hours were typically 9:30am to 6:15pm. I completely under-utilized my time. I stayed up late, woke up late, and was completely lethargic. After all, I wasn’t doing something I wanted – something that excited me. I always felt like I never had enough time to do things around the house, or spend time with Sheryl.

Because of my cancer experience, I’ve developed the urge to milk as much out of each day as I can. This urge was squashed during the last year.

Yes, I still wanted to accomplish as much as possible, but the job drained me, and I finished each day as a lump of Jell-o.

Last night, I laid in bed and wondered if I made the most out of my day. I felt that I hadn’t, even though I had tied up a lot of loose ends.

My life is re-invigorated with this new job. I am excited about life and all of the great things to do. Sheryl and I have been able to do things I’ve wanted to do for a very long time, and I’m ecstatic about taking her out of town for her birthday at the end of this month.

I am energized every day. It is a beautiful feeling, but yet when 5:30am rolls around, I find myself wondering:

Am I taking carpe’ diem a little too seriously?

Issues

When I get to my awesome job in the morning, it’s typically around 7am. This poses a few potential issues for me.

First, keep in mind that I’m a night person. Man, I love my nights. I love being awake when everyone is asleep. Ironically, I feel the same way in the morning, but in the morning, I am usually struggling to wake up, so the magic eludes me until night time.

So, in order to get to work at 7am, I have to get up at 5am. Granted, much of this time is spent puttering around – all I’ve really got to do is eat breakfast and take a shower. Combined, that takes me 35 minutes. Add to that my 20 minute drive to work, and I could technically get up at 6:05am.

But… I like to take a little time to wake up before taking a shower. I check e-mail, listen to the radio, and sometimes make lunch or wash dishes. It’s all good.

The problem comes around 1:30pm. See, by the time I get to work, I am highly focused on what I want to accomplish, and energized. This is partially because of my morning crankiness – a trait that keeps people away from me.

So I bust my ass all morning long… working, working, working… at 11:30 I eat lunch. And then the productivity slows. Then proceeds to get worse and worse, until between 1:30 and 3pm, I am seriously ready for a nap!

Once I get home – approximately 4pm – I have a perfect opportunity to take a nap! Yay! However… if I take a nap, I know that I’ll be getting to bed after 11pm, making my 5am alarm WAY too early!

So then I have to decide… is it worth the risk, or do I ride/work out instead? The ride/work out will energize me! HooHa! And I’ll be ready for the evening.

So as I sit here contemplating my options/potential issues, I’m thinking that instead of a nap, and instead of a ride/work out…

I may plop my tired ass on the recliner and watch Seinfeld re-runs while shoveling macaroni and cheese down my gullet, which will effectively ruin my option to ride/work out because riding/working out after eating is like swimming after eating, and if I know one thing, I certainly don’t want to spend my evening puking.

Pass the remote.

A Prayer for 2007

Dear God, and all of the angels that surround us –

Thank you so much for all of the amazing things you provided and helped us with in 2006. We are so blessed, lucky and happy, and we cannot express our appreciation enough.

Since we do realize our blessings, we look forward to giving back in 2007. With personal and financial support of charities, and trying to make this world a better place with our presence.

Please allow us to continue living life completely. This will allow us to give the most of ourselves. One such wish is to help us stay healthy, and become healthier in mind and body.

Please also help those who bless us with their love and friendship to stay healthy as well.

Please allow us the peace of mind and focus to foster greatness in the things that we do. This will allow us to inspire others to greatness as well. As such, we request stability in our jobs, and lives, creating harmony within which we can work and create for the betterment of others.

We look to 2007 with hope and excitement, looking forward to great achievements and learning new things.

Please bless us with guidance to be better people and an ability to affect our world in a positive way.

Thank you for everything.
Amen.

Closin' Up '06

As 2006 comes to a close, and I begin to anticipate how amazing 2007 will be, I wanted to briefly look back one more time.

My favorite events of 2006:
* Sheryl moving in / Our decision to get married
* My surprise birthday party
* Vacation in Denver
* Starting a real job
* The Gilda’s Riders’ trip to Mackinaw City

My favorite musical events:
* Roger Waters at the Palace of Auburn Hills
* Nine Inch Nails/Bauhaus at DTE Energy Theatre
* Stewart Francke at the Scarab Club
* The Hard Lessons at Gilda’s Club
* The Hard Lessons at the Arts, Beats and Eats

The Show I Wanted to Badly See, Yet Still Missed:
* The Secret Machines at the Magic Bag

My favorite new-found music:
* Boards of Canada
* The Secret Machines “Ten Silver Drops”
* Angels & Airwaves
* David Gilmour “On An Island ”
* Edgar Froese solo works
* Jerome Froese solo works

My most frequented websites:
* Cyclingnews.com
* Pink is the New Blog
* Post Secret
* Stereogum
* Retrocrush

My favorite television shows:
* Heroes
* Nip/Tuck
* Most Haunted
* In-season cycling
* In-season football
* Hockey – a people’s history (on CBC)
* Canada Russia ’72 (on CBC)

Goals for 2007:
* Make sure Sheryl gets treated best as possible
* Complete web development course at New Horizons
* Gilda’s Riders 2007 raising a minimum of $20,000
* Logging in 1,500+ miles on my bike
* Being happy as much as possible

Have a most excellent 2007 everyone! Be safe!

Tales of Santa, part 3

So… what the heck does Santa Claus do in North Pole, Colorado ?

It is well known that Mrs. Claus loves to ski. As such, Santa and friends enjoy some vacation time there at the base of Pike’s Peak .

Now, although it’s supposed to be a vacation, Santa still hangs out with the children, finding out what they want for Christmas (If you’re reading, Santa, I would like a new vehicle to take me to and from my new job!), and he spends some time in his workshop. Mrs. Claus and the elves are really the ones who vacation, and Santa is cool with that. He realizes that he’ll have his chance to chill the week following Christmas. That’s when he goes to Hawaii , where he loves to sit on the beach with a mai tai and take long naps on the hammock on his covered patio.

You may be wondering how Santa can afford to have so many different places – and that’s a great question. Many people have bequeathed some of these homes to Santa in their will. Howard Hughes was rumored to have given Santa a sackful of money to fund development of a state of the art toyshop. D.B. Cooper is said to have donated his home to Santa when he died. Needless to say, Santa was forced to hire Prycewaterhouse and Coopers to manage his finances – and this was back in the 1950s!

Hey! I just received an e-mail from Santa. Since he’s been enjoying my postings about him, he wanted me to pass this along:

Hey Matt!
Greetings from THE North Pole! The elves and I have been working feverishly to get the last minute stuff taken care of. Like many shoppers, some of these elves wait until the last minute to get their stuff done. Man, talk about stress!
If you write another blog telling the kind people about me, please let them know that I am looking forward to cookies and milk during my trip! Hehehe… the Mrs. keeps on me about my weight, and she says that I should join you and Sheryl on one of your bike rides. Can you see me on a bike??
Anyway, remind everyone that I’m doing last minute updates on the good/bad thing. There are a few surprises on the Naughty list, and they have just a few days to make it to the Nice list!
Take care, buddy. We’ll see you soon!
Kris

Well, there you have it, folks… just a few stories about Santa. Hope you’ve been good enough to be on that Nice list – I know I have!

If the events of the last few weeks had never occurred, you would be reading a completely different blog entry.

However, since I was blessed with the job I’d been seeking for four years, I can truly say that 2006 has been a good year.

I began the year jobless, and fortunately started working at a payday advance company. I hated the job with a passion, and fumbled my way along without interest or desire to achieve success. The job paid some bills and that was all that mattered.

During the month of April, I prepped the house for a new inhabitant. Sheryl and I had decided to move in together, and as every other step in our relationship, this one felt comfortable and seemed “right”.

In June, I celebrated my 40th birthday with family, friends and tequila. This was the first party that Sheryl and I held jointly, and it won’t be the last.

As the year flew by, I busied myself with plans for Gilda’s Riders. In addition to planning this fundraiser, I also had to train for it, so riding quickly came back into my life – which I loved!
Around the same time we completed a very successful Gilda’s Ride, I began to care about my job. And the store numbers began to prove it.

I realized that I really can do anything that I put my mind to, and decided to take classes in web development. It was then that I was devastated when my boss faxed me a “termination counseling” form stating that despite my store’s growth and success, I would be terminated on Dec. 23 if I didn’t sell a number of piece of shit re-loadable debit cards.

The following week, I was blessed with my new job, and happily e-mailed my resignation.

So what did I learn from 2006?
1) It is possible to be truly happy. For more than a moment or two… it’s possible to be truly happy for a number of days in a row.
2) In order to achieve happiness, we have to struggle. That makes the taste of happiness sweeter.
3) Dreams come true. But sometimes they take years to come together.
4) Patience never comes fast enough. But when it does, whoo boy, it’s worth it!

What were my accomplishments for 2006?
1) Gilda’s Riders brought together 12 people who raised $10,000 for Gilda’s Club Metro Detroit. It was a helluva struggle, but with the help of Sheryl, Jon and Sue, it came together beyond my expectations.
2) My store at Advance America grew from 110 customers to 138 once I started caring about my job. Our bad debt dropped from over $12,000 a month to under $2,000 before I left. These successes come from having compassion and respect for the customer. In that type of job, those two things are easy to forget.
3) And personally, I feel like my best accomplishment was asking Sheryl to marry me. As I mentioned before, everything we’ve done has been comfortable and makes sense to us spiritually and logically. Quite simply, my life would not be as good as it is today without her.

More thoughts on 2006 (and 2007!) to come…

Tales of Santa Claus, part 2

As I mentioned, I have been fortunate to make Santa's acquaintance, and through some of these visits, I have learned some things that people probably aren't aware of.

One such thing is the actual number of locations that Santa spends his time at. He has a place at the North Pole, but he also has a place in North Pole, Alaska (just outside of Fairbanks), and North Pole, Colorado (not far from Pike's Peak).

North Pole, Alaska is where Santa stops during his trek around the world in order to let the reindeer refuel. Since he covers so much ground in such a short period of time, those reindeer burn off a lot of calories. In order for them to stay strong enough for the full trip, Santa stops in North Pole, Alaska, where highly trained elves cultivate fields of flying reindeer food. Most of these fields are hidden by the plentiful forests, but every once in a while, if you cruise down Richardson Highway, you can sneak a peek of the flying reindeer food fields.

In the last few years, word has gone out about the health of the reindeer, and places have started selling magic reindeer food. Most of these are good quality reindeer snacks, but there have also been cases of bogus reindeer food. Of course, carrots are good for the deer, too.

More to come...?

Tales of Santa Claus, part 1

Throughout the last bunch of years, I have been meeting up with Santa Claus in often strange places and under strange circumstances.

Now, we all know that Santa has a list of good girls and boys, and we all know that he lives at the North Pole. But there are some things about Santa that not everyone knows. I will share with you some of the things I have learned about Jolly Ol' St. Nick.

Santa actually has three places that he stays at. Ironically, each one is called "North Pole". North Pole proper is where Santa, Mrs. Claus and the elves spend more of their time, making toys for the aforementioned good girls and boys.

Many people do not realize that Santa himself likes to keep his toymaking skills sharp. So nearly every day, he spends a few hours in the toyshop making toys. Santa is really cool about it, too. The elves are encouraged to learn new ways to make toys and make different kinds of toys. So Santa actually asks the elves to teach him some of these new techniques and stuff.

The biggest reason for his honing the craft of toymaking is in case Santa accidentally drops a bag of toys or if one of the reindeer accidentally step of them. Santa needs to repair the toys so the children don't get broken stuff!

Santa shared a story with me one time, which he called "the great Tickle Me Elmo fiasco". As he was speeding through California one year, one of the fighter jets that often escort him (see www.noradsanta.org), got too close and caused some unexpected turbulence. As a result, the bag that carried Tickle Me Elmo's fell thousands of feet, crashing into the desert.

This also happened to be the year that Tickle Me Elmo was all the rage, and EVERYBODY wanted one! So Santa told me that he had to fly around the surrounding areas and sprinkle emergency sleeping dust all over the place, to ensure he had enough time to fix the toys before delivering them!

He then called a few of his elite elves - who stay on shift for all of Christmas Eve just in case anything like this happens - and sent Donner and Blitzen off to retrieve the elves while he got started with the repairs. In a flash, all of the Tickle Me Elmo's were repaired to their original condition, and delivered only an hour later than expected!

So who knows... maybe YOUR Tickle Me Elmo was one of the bunch that Santa tells stories about!

More tales to come...?

The First Day...

Well, it's finally happened. I got a new job. Holy sh!t, it feels great!

I was told I had the job Thursday afternoon, and Friday I quit my job from hell (after signing the papers for the new job!) and started celebrating!! I start the new job Monday. Yay!!

This job is everything I wanted in a job for the time being, and it's a huge relief to finally be back into something I love.

My life has actually been a bit backwards from everyone else's. People seem to get into jobs/careers they hate, and then turn 40 and realize what they really want to do. I, on the other hand, got into work that I enjoyed, then by 40 was stuck into a crap job I didn't like!

But finally, that is over. As I've been telling Sheryl, this is the first day of our great life together. Previously, it had been good... Because of her, it's been good. But now, I feel like a kid who got all the Christmas presents he ever asked for!

The sun shines everywhere I look! :)

More soon!

How Does it Feel when You Accomplish Something Great?

This weekend, we accomplished the first Gilda’s Riders event. Although the event raised over $7,000 for Gilda’s Club Metro Detroit, I'm still a little numb and don’t really feel the gratification of doing something amazing.

Sheryl and I went to Mackinaw City on Friday, and once there, we headed to the island for a short stroll. After we got back, we registered for the ride, and drove the “parcourse”, so Sheryl would have an idea of what the ride entailed. By the time we got to the finish, she was scared, not sure of what she got herself into.

A little later, we went to dinner with Jon, Sue and Beth. The dinner was great, but the service really lacked. It was late, so we went back to the hotel and hit the hay.

Saturday morning, we got up too early, and got ready. The weather was gorgeous. Since 7 of our 12 riders were shooting for the 100 mile ride, we met at 7:15 for a team picture.

After pictures, we rolled out around 7:30. It was important for Sheryl to ride at her own pace, and the rest of us ended up dropping her relatively quickly. At the first downhill, I took a flier trying to warm up a bit before hitting the first hill. It felt great.

By the time we got to the first water stop, our group was down to 6. Although I was only riding 50 miles, I was keeping up pretty well with the 100 mile riders until we got to the real hills, where I got dropped. I kept close to the rest, and nearly caught the front 3 when the road split for the 50 mile course.

When I got to the first food stop, I was possibly within the first 10 to arrive. I lounged around a little bit, then continued down the road. The hills kept rolling, and my legs were getting very tired.

Aside from all this was the beauty surrounding me. The leaves were starting to change colors, and one of my favorite sections of the ride went through Wilderness National Park, where there are a number of sand dunes - a bit of the Sahara in the middle of Michigan!

As typical, I rode the rest of the ride by myself, averaging 14 miles per hour as I rode past the next water stop. The uphill grind was tearing my thighs apart, when I finally broke through to level ground.

Normally, on the long stretches of this ride, we have a head wind. This year, we were fortunate to have a tail wind instead. So I fiercely pedalled along - getting bored to the point where I began whistling to myself. I've NEVER whistled to myself on a bike ride before!

My neck and shoulders ached terribly, and I tried to relieve the pain by making circular motions with my arms. When I got to the last rest stop, I still felt strong, and knew I made the right decision to ride 50 miles. Still averaging nearly 14 mph, I finally rolled in at noon.

And what did I see??

Sheryl, smiling and waving to me. She did it - she rode her personal best 25 miles!! On top of that, she finished at 10:00am!

We lingered for a litle while, sharing stories of the road - my favorite part of the ride - then headed back to the hotel for a shower and change of clothes.

Once cleaned up, we went to the Keyhole Bar to eat and wait for other Gilda's Riders. We wolfed down some serious bar food, then broke our ice cream fast with a waffle cone. We were then ready to fall into a post-ride coma.

Around 6pm, Sue and Jon came by. We shared more stories of the road, and found out bit by bit that every one of our team members achieved their personal goals! It was VERY rewarding for me to hear that.

Six of us went to dinner at Audie's, and while we were finishing up our meals, a parade of trucks began.

Coming from the UP, these rigs blew their horns and lit up their trucks while circling Mackinaw City. It lasted at least an hour, as we completed our meals and headed back to our hotel, only to get stuck in the parade traffic!

Sheryl and I wound down the day by sitting at the campfire, sharing more stories of the day and talking about the potential of this event.

We headed to bed, and slept hard until we woke up at Sheryl's typical 5:45am.

We gradually packed up, grabbed breakfast, and headed back home.

Gilda's Riders - Mark 2006, is over.

We had many successes, many lessons learned, and a lot of excitement. Some of our riders were talking about doing it again next year - so that is encouraging.

But for me, it is time to refocus my energy on a job search, and darts. Over the next few weeks, we will ensure all of the monies have been properly attributed to our event, and then have a final tally. My original goals of 10 riders, and $7,000 have been exceeded. We had 12 riders, and the grand total is yet to be totaled.

The money we raised will be used to fund the programs at Gilda's Club Metro Detroit - a place that has helped me in so many ways. After all, I met my real-life angel there - Sheryl. And now we were able to give back a little bit.

So how does it feel when you accomplish something great?

It feels like there's something even greater to be achieved.

Stay tuned! :)

Rainy Day Dream Away

I want to begin this blog by thanking Kid Rock - his belief in my book, and his willingness to promote it to mass distribution.

Yeah, then I woke up - another one of my kooky dreams.

So this morning, we woke up to rain. We've needed rain for a while, and of course, it decides to water the grass the same day that we're supposed to have a training ride with Frankie Andreu!

Ah well, hopefully we'll reschedule before the big ride in three weeks.

Ride-wise, things are finally in slow-down mode. We are hitting up our donors and training. The jerseys are being printed and our sponsors really came through for us. I am really proud to have been able to work with Sheryl, Jon and Sue during the planning of this event. They have certainly made my vision become a reality!

My brother and his family came home for the weekend from Atlanta. It is always so good to have the family together, and we had the profound opportunity to do that last night. With everyone finally doing well, it appears that the only thing that needs to happen yet for our family is for me to get a real job. And it appears that it will likely happen sometime soon.

I've finally gotten a number of good leads, and I look forward to getting back into the business!

Dart season is coming up soon, too. We had our banquet from last season on this past Friday, and it was a little strange... see, in order to bring in a couple of new players into the league, we had to split up our team, which I had come into the league with. Hopefully, though, we can grow the league into one that is bigger and better as a result. One never knows!

Life is good right now. With all the job leads, there is a lot of hope. I can't wait to finally do the things with Sheryl that I've always wanted to do... like travel, go to nice restaurants, and even buy her the occasional floral bouquet. She just ordered her first pair of bike shorts today, so it looks like we're on tap to do more riding together.

I wonder if there are people out there still reading this blog besides Nicole. I want to thank anyone who does read this for their patience. It's been a crazy summer planning Gilda's Riders, and I haven't been able to keep up with everything.

On one more note, August 31 will be the 4th anniversary of my last chemo treatment. October 23, 2007 will be my official five year anniversary.... Ho-lee shizzle...

So what comes next after Gilda's Riders? Well, perhaps Gilda's Riders 2. More importantly to me, however, I will be working on a cancer survivor program. The one I need still eludes me, so maybe it's up to me to make it happen.

What do I need exactly? I don't know. But what I do know is that there is still a lot of crap in my head that needs to be straightened out. See, it appears that life is good and well - which it is - but inside, there are still a lot of issues I need to resolve. But whatever I've got to say about that will have to wait for another day.

Until then, I'll dream away...