I am Leopard-Trek

George Clark gave me a book many, many years ago, called "The Snow Leopard". Along with the book came some wise words: Go seek your snow leopard.

Last night, Sheryl and I went to see one of my uncles. He was the only member of my family to be in Vietnam, and I remember like it was yesterday when he came home, and came to our house to visit. I was your typical excited kid, demanding his attention, showing him all the crazy things kids think of when they are trying to keep a special someone's attention.

I am now twice the age at which he came to visit us those many years ago. And this uncle had recently had a heart attack, and as I think about it now, I am elated to my core that he survived.

Survival is a big part of my own story. And I tie survival to bicycling - for some strange reason.

And then there's my cycling guru, whom I have recently heard that he's got a new struggle on his hands. And as happy as I am for my uncle Vietnam, I am crushed about my cycling guru.

My cycling guru and I love the amazing talent of Fabian Cancellara - who is now riding for the Leopard-Trek team. I can't wait to watch this team ride in the Tour de France.

But the only thing I think I would enjoy more is to be with my cycling guru and watch them race.

It's a strange life.

My new job is a new trail that I've never been down before while following the scent of the Snow Leopard.

My uncle and my cycling guru are the yin and the yang of life that happen.

Leopard-Trek is exciting, yet ultimately minimally meaningful.

And I can't wait to see what comes next on the trail.

Seek your own Snow Leopard.

Sometimes you're the bat, sometimes you're the ball...

No shit... It's been a rough week. Really rough, in fact. My poor wife has had to deal with a bear every night that she's seen me. I guess that's what angels do...:)

So this rough week, I think, spawned a night last night of fantastic dreams - but not necessarily good ones.

The earliest part of the dream that I remember had me at a party - much like a frat party. The room was all in black and blue and gray hues. Except for the blood. Someone was stabbed, and although I saw it happen, I was in a bad place, and had to pretend that I was cool with it (although I was horrified!).

I was free of blood on my hands and clothes, but my right shoe was splattered with it. I tried to kick the bloodied black shoe aside, but there was no escaping it. I needed to reclaim it before we torched the building down. Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to ensure I left no prints behind...

My gang drove our badly battered cars to the headquarters, where we entered huge wooden doors and walked into a large, expansive ballroom with wood floors. Wandering the ballroom was a lion and a mini Phil Collins (think "petite giraffes").

We went to the bar and ordered whiskeys, talking about the kill. I knew I was clean, and the rest of them were going down...

And I turned around, and dreamt about being outside in an English-type garden. Talking to a school marm looking woman, I suddenly became aware of a central theme during the dream - a phrase that came up often...

A phrase I woke up repeating as a mantra because I knew it was going to be important to my real life.

When I got out of bed I wrote it down:

"This is your rewrite - the story will become whatever you make it."

Wrapped around a tough week such as this, that dream mantra helps keep things in perspective.

We all have the power to rewrite the story that is occurring around us. It is up to us to decide how it's going to end.

My wife, she's blazing
So freaking amazing
She's my blood and my breath
I truly am blessed.
She's the yin to my yang
I'm the pop, she's the bang
She's the yang to my yin
The sword to my pin
I am the talk
She is the walk
I am the bed
And she is the spread
Without her, I'm a flag
With no pole, I'm just dragged
She gives me flap
A flag with some snap
On my salad, she's my dressing
She's my greatest blessing
I'm grateful to have met her
To have kissed her, and wed her.
My blazing wife.

What inspires you?

Who inspires you?

With a world full of Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan news, it's easy to forget that there is more in the world that can inspire us to be better people.

Today was a sad day for me, but for all the right reasons. It was my last day at my "old" job. I start my new job in a couple of days.

Days like today, though, are good days to learn how much you have meant to others.

I have tried to inspire others to become bigger than themselves, and I was fortunate to see that come to fruition with a former co-worker. I inspired him to cycle, and now he inspires others while teaching spinning classes.

How cool is that?

It was a good day that included a stop at one of my favorite wine shops - Cloverleaf.

But most importantly, I love how my wife keeps me grounded.

Who can you inspire?

How much effort are you willing to put into it?

Rockin' A Friday Night Like It's Only Hours Before Saturday!

Okay, 10 years ago, if I would have said:
It's 8pm, my wife is still at work, so I'm rockin' the Sounds of the Seasons channel (playing House Beats during non-seasonal times), sipping on some wine,
I probably would have asked you to shoot me.
Funny how times change.
My mom is walking the Broadwalk in Hollywood, Florida, and had to text me to tell me what a life she has.
Man, it's all good.

Sure, I wish it was me taking a night walk outside in Southern Florida, but I'm glad someone I know is... even as we look forward to more snow tonight (this February has been the 2nd snowiest on record - ugh!).

I don't mind that I'm sitting home listening to Sounds From The Ground and Dark Globe.
I don't mind that I'm swigging wine.
I love being married, and I love my wife.

I love that the Detroit Tigers are starting real Spring Training games.
I love that spring is 4 sundays away, and the time change is 3 sundays from now.

I love that I am starting my new job in just over a week. Man, I've got a lot to learn!

It's a great life.
I didn't know that 10 years ago like I do now.

And by the way, sorry, unless I know you're coming over after dark, I am not answering the door.

Timeout

I just wanted to take a moment to say how proud I am of my wife.

She's had a tough week this week, but she's keeping on keeping on, wearing her brave face.

She's doing great things, and I love her for not losing her head and being the amazing woman she is.

Addy-Ose!

It's been quite a few weeks. I can officially announce that I am changing jobs.

Oddly enough, I attribute this job change to the experiment I conducted in December. At that time, I worked to open myself to infinite possibilities. One of those possibilities happened to come in the form of a number of phone messages from a company that wanted to talk to me about a job.

When I realized this as an opportunity knocking, I listened.

A few weeks, a bunch of interviews, and a lot of anxiety later, I will be starting a new job in March.

Wow!

It should be a blast - I'm so excited to see what I can help this company accomplish!

This naturally takes nothing away from the job I'm leaving. I love the job, I love the people I work with, and I love the paychecks. But opportunity is calling, and I gotta see where it's gonna lead me.

Now all I gotta do is shake this stinkin' cold, and I'll be truly champing at the bit!

(...)

I've been sick to my stomach all day. To find out a tragedy such as friends of mine losing a child to a perfect calamity leaves me terribly sad. And I can't even cry about it.

When I was sick, they were there for the highs and lows. Although he was my mom's boss, he was aware of all that I was going through. And when I completed my treatments, his band played at the party my mom threw for me.

Here we are, just over 8 years later, and though I haven't seen him and his wife in quite a while, I hold them close in my heart.

I am horrified and deeply saddened that such a cruel turn of events has befallen them. Wonderful people, they are, and truly undeserving of such sadness in their lives.

I truly hope that the lesson that needs to be learned as a result of this is a good one, because it's just grossly cruel. Although my eyes cannot cry, I feel like my heart weeps.

Whether you knew it or not, young man, you touched many lives. Godspeed to ye, laddie.

January 23, 2011

When Sheryl and I started dating, I was broke and out of a job. When my birthday rolled around, she asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I usually don't want anything, but that year, I REALLY wanted to see Wilco perform at the Meadowbrook Music Theatre. Sheryl got us tickets, and I had an absolute blast.

That concert helped me understand how deeply Sheryl loved me. When I look back on concerts, that one fills me with down-to-Earth good feelings. It makes me feel warm and bubbly.

Tonight, I sit watching Wilco's "Ashes of American Flags" DVD, relaxing, sipping the Green Fairy. Sheryl is in bed and it's 9:20pm.

Our day was full. Our week was busy.

And tomorrow, my angel - my wife - celebrates her birthday. We'll be the same age for 6 months.

It wasn't a mistake that I put this DVD in. The way Sheryl made me feel on that birthday by taking me to see such an amazing show...

... is exactly how I want her to feel every day - not just her birthday.

So today we unofficially celebrated her birthday. And we did yesterday, too, having dinner with friends we hadn't seen since August. At a Mexican restaurant in Mexicantown. Following a Detroit Tigers game.

Following that theme, we went to Tigerfest today at Comerica Park. We had so much fun! Despite standing in line for two hours to get sourpuss (I say that with respect!) Jim Leyland's autograph, we had some crazy unexpected events happen, including me telling Don Kelly that I wasn't jealous that my wife had his ball in her hand! Go figure!

The fun Sheryl had today was definitely the fun that I had at the Wilco show. We have memories together of such great experiences that no one will ever be able to take from us, and that is truly special.

Just like my wife.

Punkin, on our wedding day, you promised to make me laugh every day. I promised to myself that you will always feel loved, and will always feel special. You have kept your promise, and I continue trying my best to keep mine.

I know you know that I love you, and I hope I never give you reason to question that.

Happy birthday, sweetheart. May every day be a mini Tigerfest. With fajitas and sangria. And good friends. And laughs and laughs and laughs.

And love, baby, love.

Body parts

Bought my first ever bottle of the green fairy last night. I am always amazed by how legendary things seem less formidable when experienced - like absinthe and Neu Schwanstein...

Perfect Sense (Part 2)

I went to my cousin's yesterday. I swear to god he and his wife have the coolest friends! Sheryl and I have cool friends, too, but we don't see them nearly enough.

Hmmm... we should do something about that.

Perfect Sense (Part 1)

I had a dream this morning where I definitively felt that Sheryl and I needed to move to North Carolina.

I'm just sayin'. It was a dream.

The Front

Coming home from an awesome vacation can be difficult. In many ways, you feel ready to jump back into the rat race and accomplish a lot. But on the other hand, you have grown accustomed to the awesome vacation life...

I would love to find that happy medium - a location in the rat race where I feel like me 100% of the time - and not someone the rat race makes me. And daily naps. I want daily naps on a daily basis.

I want to use my brain to accomplish great things - then spend a half hour or so in the hot tub.

I wonder what it would be like to mesh my personal desires with my professional desires. To call in sick when I need to catch up on reading Kurt Vonnegut, or feel like riding my bike instead.

I wonder what it would be like to have a money tree that only me and my family and friends can have access to. And since I've crossed the reality border paragraphs ago, the money tree must regrow its leaves within a week.

That would be sweet.

And then I could go wherever I want - which right now means someplace that my hands and feet are not constantly cold and my wine is not my whine...

Years' End

Last night, Sheryl and I got home from our grand vacation.

Two weeks ago, we drove down to Hollywood, Florida via Huntersville, NC. We relaxed, hung out, then headed down to Key West, which was a big highlight for me. I love the Keys so much - they bring back so many positive memories for me.

After the Keys, we went back to Hollywood, and eventually left for Charleston, SC. We're looking to move down South, so visiting Charleston was a little more than just sightseeing.

Oh, and there was Georgie, too.

Georgie the ghost apparently haunted the B&B we stayed in. Nice. I'm such a sissy with that stuff, and Sheryl milked it to no end.

Ultimately, there was no Georgie sighting, and all was well.

The trip home was long - we were essentially on the road for 17 hours, but we got home before the ball dropped in Times Square.

And now we look at the new year. 2011. It seems like just yesterday it was 2010.

I can't wait to see what great things 2011 will bring!

Over the weekend, I need to make sure I'm ready.

Happy new year, everyone!

The Eve of Christmas Eve

Last night, Sheryl and I sat outside on the front porch of Vino's on Duval in Key West. We had completed a full day of riding scooters and sightseeing, and had an incredible dinner at Mangoes.

As we sat, drinking our wine of the moment, I realized I was a little chilly. So I took a blanket off the chair next to me, and covered my legs - bare from the knees down.

Watching people walk by, overhearing bits and pieces of conversations - in English and other languages - we gazed at the Christmas lights decorating the businesses across the street.

I had a sudden moment of clarity. I was in the perfect place at the perfect time doing the perfect thing with perfect company.

Another blessing.

Conclusions

There are many reasons to count our blessings. I acknowledge my appreciation for things daily.

Lately, I've been working on an experiment using the concepts discussed in "What the Bleep Do We Know?"

And I've found that these concepts can and do work. I also found that it was very difficult to step away from old habits and develop new ones. Oddly enough, I found that by being cold forced me to whine and bitch about being cold, rather than focus on my blessings and experiment.

I've talked about some parts of my experiment, but there was one I did not want to discuss until a couple of days ago.

They say that it takes three weeks to change habits. So, I decided that I wanted to change my drinking habit.

It wasn't easy to accomplish his. I got some hassle, but I persisted. I didn't know what to expect, but I did know that if I was able to achieve my goal, then my sense of will power was strong enough to accomplish anything in life. Yes, somewhat drama-queenish, but something nonetheless I felt I needed to prove to myself.

And I learned some things, too. I learned that I slept better. I learned that I felt better. I felt that I could focus better.

And people who knew me 10+ years ago won't comprehend this, but I learned that I missed drinking wine, and experimenting with wine more than anything.

Over the last year or so, I haven't really enjoyed what rum and other hard liquors have been doing to my body. Of course, I have had a tendency to drink excessively at each sitting as well, but that don't count, right?

So the experiment is over, and I am eager to take these lessons I've learned and find out how they help me become a better person, and what amazing things I can accomplish.

It's all a process. And if we're lucky, we never stop learning and testing ourselves.

Notes on the Experiment

I've only been working on this experiment for a week or so, and I can already say that I feel confident that it will work. There are too many coincidences to make me think otherwise.

There are four items that are part of the experiment:
1) Identify moments in the day that Sheryl and I are grateful for (thus opening ourselves for positive occurrences);
2) Receive a job offer down South (which nearly happened, but I realized that I wanted to stay at my current position a little longer, so I turned down the opportunity);
3) and 4) They still have not occurred, so I will keep them to myself... until they do occur. I am confident they will.

But the gist of the experiment has been to determine whether I could change things in my life by changing the way I think about them.

I have been really fascinated lately by the Quantum Edition of "What the Bleep Do We Know?" There are hours upon hours of bonus information regarding quantum mechanics and quantum physics, and this is what ignited the concept of my experiment.

Daily, I think it's important for me to remember: "I make myself available to the infinite possibilities." By saying, and believing in this, I recognize that there is no limit to my life. There is nothing I can't do (without the proper work being done).

And now I'm excited to see what I can accomplish with this knowledge.

Let's finish Items 3 and 4 first, eh? :)

Life

On the day that I learned that Elizabeth Edwards died, I went with my amazing wife to see the pulmonologist.

18 months ago, a CT scan showed a spot on my lung. My oncologist - as thorough as he is - put me through three more CT scans to ensure everything was alright. And then sent me to the pulmonologist. As long as the pulmonologist said everything was okay, then I was in the clear.

Well, I am in the clear, although he wants one more CT in the spring.

So, how did I celebrate?

I went to the Y, and rode 16 miles on the trainer.

It's good to be alive. How do you celebrate your life?

"Life has no limitations, except the ones you make." - Les Brown

The Daily Dose

As part of my experiment, I have been trying new things: being more positive, being more aware of my surroundings and opportunities, appreciating what I have, and focusing on my desires.

Part of being more positive has included asking Sheryl what the best part of her day was just before she goes to bed. Doing this helps both of us to focus on something positive before going to bed. Maybe it's just a coincidence, but I have been sleeping really well lately...

The other things come and go, but as I work on each aspect of this project, I get a kick out of finding ways to make the best of myself and the opportunities available to me.

This morning, I tried to focus on the experiment while I was working out, but didn't have a lot of time tonight to meditate on it.

Tonight was big, though, met a personal milestone, and helped make someone's day. These are positives that will help along the way.

As I further refine the parameters of the experiment:

Today, I make myself available to all possibilities that will ultimately lead to a positive outcome.

My favorite part of the day was seeing all of the smiles I saw tonight, including hearing my aunt say that she hasn't laughed that hard in a long time. Made me think about all the laughing I did today. Very positive. :)