Some haiku for you (so don't be blue... and tie your shoe)

Chew, chew, chew
Your eyes are so big
Stomach's not

#########

I smiled in your eyes
Reflecting my love for you
You smiled back in mine

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Avoid disaster
Use your turn signal, you jerk
You won't see me rage

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Tired, so sleepy
I must stop dreaming so hard
Eyes too tired to shut

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I write rhymes
Ain't pimpin' the words
Ho-etry

Sweet Home Ferndale

When I worked in Northville, MI, I was making enough money to buy my own place. Finally, "a place for all my stuff"! I had dreamed about having a place to call home for ten years prior to that.

My uncle recommended a real estate agent, and although I wanted to stay on the "west side", the agent took me around the Royal Oak/Ferndale/Madison Heights area. I looked at 5-7 houses when I decided on the one I eventually bought.

I live on the border of Ferndale and Hazel Park... one block from I-75 and a few blocks from I-696. Although the location is close to the freeways, I don't really get bothered with much noise.

The neighborhood is quiet - there is a park on the corner from my house. The neighborhood is safe - cops patrol the area regularly - there is a park on the corner from my house.

Ferndale is an awesome place to live. Often treated like the red-headed stepchild of Royal Oak, it has sprouted into a respected community.

There are areas that one can tell it's been settled for quite a while, yet there are many areas of new development.

Ferndale's "main street" has been evolving constantly for the last 10-15 years. The "cross roads" of 9 Mile and Woodward are nearly complete in their renovation. This area, which lies 2 miles from my house has become culturally diversified and a great yuppie hangout.

There are standard restaurants such as Maria's Back Room, but there are many other great places to eat within a mile of the 9 Mile and Woodward intersection.

Ferndale even as its' own microbrewery - Woodward Avenue Brewery - and a national act drawing concert theater in the Magic Bag. Yup, you guessed it, they are both within crawling distance of 9 Mile and Woodward.

Every winter, the city of Ferndale hosts the winter freeze blues festival - and this year, for the super bowl, they will have 50 bands performing over the course of 10 days.

Yep, Ferndale has been a great place to live. With lots of trees and parks, the city is just like the city you remember growing up in. Only different.

Why Should You Hire Me?

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about dream jobs. I love writing, I love coordinating and planning, I love the technical side of things, and I love coming up with ideas.

I always wanted a job where I could put posters on my office walls, sit on the couch in my office, and throw my "idea ball" against the wall while trying to sort out a tasty problem.

So far, that hasn't happened.

But today, while I was out for a walk, I started thinking about how much I enjoy writing. I decided that this blog was the best way for me to practice and hone my chops.

So my first project is based on the concept of an interview (It's a concept because I'm not frigging getting any!!!)... more particularly the question: Why should we hire you?

I should be hired for a number of reasons:

First, I am extremely dedicated to my work. The more I love the work I do, the more dedicated I am. I'm hungry. Hungry to prove myself - to you and me.

I love to set goals for myself in the workplace. If I say that I can get a project done in two weeks, I bust my butt to get it done in a week and a half.

I believe in earning my money. With me, you don't pay for cigarette breaks. You don't pay for water cooler chit chat. You don't pay for extended lunches.

In return for that paycheck, you will receive an employee who masters tasks quickly and completely. In fact, if I have a fault, it's that I often refuse to ask for help. Not only do I want to try and figure things out for myself, but I also feel that bugging a manager is wasting corporate money.

If I do have a problem and have to see the manager, I try to have a couple of options on hand for how to resolve the problem. To me, that shows that I am working to be part of the solution - not part of the problem.

My dad was a workaholic. I saw it kill him at 48 years old. I will not be a workaholic. However, I will do the job to the best of my potential. You will get 100% of me. Nothing less.

Although I don't like to chit chat at work, I do have great communication skills. My personality is engaging, and I have no problem relating to people of any rank within the corporation. I believe in communication. I believe that in order for a company to be successful, they need successful communication - both internally and externally.

In all of my jobs, I have been successful in the communications realm. Most notably, when I worked in Germany. Once my co-workers saw how passionate I was about immersing myself in the work and their culture, they bent over backwards to help me out - whether the issue was work related or not.

In another job, I threw myself into a project and ended up stepping on someone's toes. She got really bitchy to me and often complained to my boss about me. I didn't realize what was going on until a co-worker mentioned it to me. As the toe-stepping was completely unintentional, I had to figure out a way to resolve the situation.

Although she had already tainted a lot of my co-workers with her complaints, my co-workers and boss chose not to step in between us. They knew that both of us were actually right, and we were getting things accomplished despite the situation.

One day I decided to take her out to lunch - to get away from the job and stand on neutral ground. Once we began talking about the issue in a non-threatening environment, we quickly and easily resolved the issue.

So, as you can see... I am passionate about my work and am willing to think creatively to resolve problems. I immerse myslf in my job and earn my pay. I have a lot of ideas and enjoy communicating them.

I would be a huge asset to your company - as I have for every other company I worked for. None of them wanted to get rid of me. Circumstances dictated my leaving in every case.

So the question now becomes: Why wouldn't you want to hire me?

Old is new is old is new again...

With gadgetry changing so quickly these days, how do we put ourselves at the head of the curve?

I have recently been given some amazing information for newspaper/media jobs. After doing a little research, I realized how quickly things are changing in this world.

I was a communications major in college. There, I learned the rules for formatting and style. I learned that even though you were expected to use your imagination, you had to color inside the lines. That was in the late 1980's.

Nearly 20 years ago.

Today, I was reading about how to apply for a newspaper job. And there was still the formatting and style questions. The same ones that were asked 20 years ago.

So I began to wonder how newspapers could really stay in business. With CNN, MSN, the internet, PDAs and such, how many people actually read the newspaper these days?

As a result of this realization, I decided to blog instead. My blog has no rules, no lines to color inside, and no boxes to think within. I can be as creative as I want, I can say what I want, and I can potentially reach a larger audience than any newspaper.

Except I don't get paid for this, and for all I know, I have an audience of five people... or less.

So the question still remains... as a writer who doesn't like to color within the lines, and doesn't appreciate the sensationalism of Paris Hilton, or preying on people who just had something shitty happen to them... is there a future in writing in a print publication?

Maybe it's time to seriously start looking back into my old dream of travel writing...

Spiffy Smithing...

Tragically, magically
I saw it on TV
Drastically, spastically
I wondered, could it be?

Darkly, sparkly
The moon had turned blue
Mystically, statistically
I turned my thoughts to you

Purely, demurely
You burned in my mind
Lovely, above me
Magically inclined.

We are here
And we are now
It's just like this
And that is how

It will be
For time plus one
Because right now
This is done.

Being (Like) Ernest...

A sweet summer breeze gently blew through my window.
I sat, squinting in front of my laptop,
Looking for a word that rhymed with "silver".
I often wrote my own obituary,
It always had the same ending, but everything before it was different...

My favorite was the one where I lived the final 40 years of my life
In Ernest Hemingway's haunted mansion in Key West.
It always brought me visions of me and Ernie talking about how humorous it was to be famous.
Because, after all, to live in Ernie's mansion, I'd have to be famous, too.

Yes, it's a sick thing to write your own obituary,
But who else would appreciate the nuances of your life
More than you?

How do you know when you've achieved your lot in life?

When I wrote "Cancerboy", I felt like I accomplished the thing that I was meant to accomplish in my life. Since I am still alive, it's obvious that "Cancerboy" wasn't my sole purpose.

Tonight, I re-watched "What the Bleep Do We Know?" - a phenomenal movie about quantum physics - and it's got me in a rare mood.

This week was an interesting week. A friend of mine had an incredibly rough week - a beloved uncle died, followed by her grandmother. This friend and I had a disagreement the week before, and hardly spoke to each other since. Just last night I learned about the uncle dying, and I feel terrible.

It's things like these that help us realize what is important in life and what isn't. Is it more important to hold on to what you think is right at the moment, or to nurture your relationships?

We had a scare this week with my brother. He's still undergoing tests, so we're still not exactly sure what's going on with his body, but - again - it's times like this when you ask yourself if your concern is claustrophobic, too little or coincidental. Having gone through cancer, I know that it's always good to know that people are thinking about you, so that's the route I've decided to take.

Last night after we had a successful night at darts (12-3 for those scoring at home), Sheryl and I were watching "Most Haunted" on the Travel Channel (I LOVE that show!!) - when all of a sudden, there was a huge BOOM!! We freaked out, immediately hoping nothing happened to my house, garage, or the neighbors.

I checked outside, seeing nothing. My neighbor appeared, checking things out as well. I was pissing cold rain, and neither one of us saw any damage. So we went out to the back yards, where I noticed a plume of smoke in the near distance. My neighbor said he was going to try and find where it was coming from, and I invited myself along. Soon enough, we found the culprit - as did the cops and firemen - a garage in our neighborhood had exploded and was on fire. I just hope no one got hurt...

So if there is anything to learn about this week, perhaps it's to be true to yourself... particularly when it comes to loving one another.

And to not blow ourselves up.

The future is ours to create, so let's make it better than good, okay?

We drank Irish coffee to keep the cold outside.
Bundled to our noses in our blankets,
We sat on the couch, sharing stories of our youth -
When we were young,
When we were indestructible,
When we had the world by the balls.

The phone ringer was off
The doorbell disconected
The only distraction was the tasty jolt of caffeine.

I met her at the Church of Barmixology -
She experienced the magnificent enlightenment of absinthe
While I extolled the praises of tequila.

That night, I later found out, we both worshipped the porcelain god on different ends of the street.

And here we were, weeks later, listening to Bob Dylan on vinyl.
Each pop, each scratch, prodding memories -
Memories to share.
Memories to hear.
Memories to make.

She left at 2pm as the sun appeared and warmed the house,
Melting snow from the roof, dripping from icicles.
As she stepped out the door to walk the six driveways to her house,
I felt as if we were on the verge of something amazing.

I just got off the phone with her -
I finally got up the nerve to ask her out.
She agreed, telling me that the other day,
As she stepped out the door to walk the six driveways to her house,
She felt as if we were on the verge of something amazing.

Feisty...

Although my credit score is crashing faster than stocks on Black Friday, I'm feeling kinda feisty today.

I've arranged for two interviews on Monday and a couple of others seem to be just below the horizon, on their way up. Could it be - Good things coming my way?!?! Whoo-hoo!

As such, I thought I'd pass along some of the music I've been trying to catch up on lately. During my walks, I've been listening to Tao te Ching (as I mentioned before) and The Art of War (GW obviously spent too much time partying and not enough time reading!). That's fine and dandy, but I can't get enough of my iPod and am always looking for new tunes.

My favorite newly discovered music by far is Goldfrapp. Allison Goldfrapp's music is cutting edge electronica mixed with her beautiful voice, wrapped up in a catchy tune. Ah, but don't get fooled. The catchy electronic stuff is contained in her last two albums - Black Cherry and Supernature . She has another album called Felt Mountain , which contains mostly vocal acrobatics drifting across less appealing music.

Alec Empire has released a couple of hardcore DJ/electronic CDs in the vein of old, old Nine Inch Nails. While NIN has lost their bite, Alec has definitely sharpened his.

Today, I am giving The Campfire Headphase by the Boards of Canada a try. So far, it seems pretty cool in a lazy dreamy rainy day sort of way. Speaking of dreams, Sheryl and I will be selling DVDs of the dreams I've had this week. You know, the ones where we met Lance Armstrong, the President of the Czech Republic and Jerome (The Bus) Bettis...

I digress... anyway, other music I will be giving a listen to in the near future: Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!, Spoon's "Gimme Fiction", Electric Six' "Senor Smoke" (includes a cover of Queen's Radio GaGa) and the Strokes' "First Impressions of Earth".

I used to rely on Detroit's public radio station, WDET, for new music worth listening to. However, they f'ed up the programming, and none of those new music shows are available as they were for the last 20 years or so. Now I know why those classical music purists whined so much when the clasic radio station here went kaput.

Don't get me wrong, I think that we need more groups out there that sound like Pearl Jam and Nickelback. We need more boy bands and sugar pop music. We need more rappers talking up the bling bling. After all, without all those unoriginal wannabe's, we can be manipulated easier. Who needs to think? Who needs creativity?

Come to think of it, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain... or the new music I mentioned. Let's just grab a Happy Meal at McDonald's and play with our free plastic Disney movie toys.

I warned you that I was feeling feisty!

One of these days, it'll all make perfect sense...

True - so far - to one of my 2006 goals, I've been on the move... working out, walking and starting some tai chi.

I've actually been doing tai chi on and off for about 10 years - but I learned from a video, and I was interested to see how "real" training occurs. So the opportunity became available, and Sheryl and I jumped. Not literally, mind you.

Yesterday's first class showed us essentially one move, and already it is different from the version I learned on video. The class we're taking for the next two months will take us through the first 16 moves... the first 16 of 103...

For years I've been incorporating Eastern philosophies into my Catholic upbringing. I have studied different beliefs in order to better understand the world and people in general.

So for my walks, I've downloaded a couple of books for my iPod. Yesterday, ironically, I finished the first book - The Tao te Ching, a classic book on taoism... which is generally practiced by those who perform tai chi.

After listening to the Tao te Ching for the first time, though, I wasn't sure about my original belief of Taoism - that the potentiality of "the uncarved block" was all it was cracked up to be.

In fact, I think I even muttered out loud - "huh??"

It's obvious that I'll have to give it another listen. Next on the listening list, though, is Sun-Tzu's "Art of War".

Gotta Love George...

Today I was leafing through the Eastern Michigan University alumni magazine - it's something I don't spend much time on. It seems that just because I busted my ass and graduated from there, that I should feel priviledged to give them some money. Let's not forget the more than $20,000 I already gave them, which has led to my spectacular meteoric rise and equally meteoric fall in the job market. Let's not forget that when I released "Cancerboy", I e-mailed the alumni association to see if they could help me advertise the book around campus. Their response?

There was no response!

Anyhow, I shouldn't be too harsh on my alma mater. After all, today they gave me a rush - a rush of well-being and happiness.

On page 18 of the alumni mag, was a picture of one of the most amazing and influential men in my life - George Clark.

George was my accounting professor. He helped me learn a subject I cared nothing about. In fact, he made me LOVE a subject I cared nothing about.

As his student, I would visit George during office hours and we would talk about life. We would talk about success and effort. We would talk about philosophy and problem resolution.

After I graduated - no doubt as a result of George's influence, George and I remained friends. When I got involved with corporate training, George and I would meet for lunch and end up discussing educational tools and ways to mess with our students' minds. We had a lot of fun talking with each other.

George passed away in 1999. The last time I saw him, he helped me decide to participate in the 2000 Alaska AIDS Vaccine Ride. I was scared to death of the ride, but George exuded confidence and pride in me. I knew I had to sign up.

George and my step-dad Duane died within a couple of weeks of each other. I loved both of them immensely - and still do.

The tough times I am going through right now - being without a job and all - are really wearing me down. Through experience, I know that I just have to continue rolling with the punches, and that even a blind pig finds a truffle now and again... But it was seeing George's face on page 18 of the EMU alumni magazine that truly gave me a lift.

George, I love you, man... and I miss your knowledge, your insight and your friendship terribly. Thanks for reminding me that you're around and looking after me.

New Year, New Altitude...

Happy new year, everyone! I hope the holidays were amazing, and everyone has kept their new year's resolutions so far!

A long time ago, I stopped making new year's resolutions. Instead, I come up with new year's goals. I am excited about the potential of 2006. During the holidays, I finally came to the realization that I've been feeling like a victim of the shitty luck I've had in my life, and nothing helped point that out more than "Cancerboy". Although "Cancerboy" has been an extraordinary source of satisfaction, it also shoved some things into the spotlight that I didn't expect would still affect me so profoundly.

And altough cancer has given me the amazing gift of perspective, I feel like I've been a bit out of whack since my diagnosis and treatment.

The beautiful thing is that 2005 brought me Sheryl, who has both knowingly and unknowingly helped me identify and understand these things and regain a sense of balance.

As such, I am snarling, showing teeth and prepared to take 2006 and make it my own.

The first step, of course, is getting another job. I need to position myself for success, and although I'm still trying to figure out how exactly to do that, I've put the concept in motion by becoming aware of it - and reminding myself about it every day.

What else am I shooting for in 2006? Planning a successful charity bike ride to raise money for Gilda's Club. In order to do this, I need to get myself back into shape as well. After all, if I am lucky, I will turn 40 years old in 2006. Over the holidays, my brother Dean said that after 40, the body goes downhill fast. If that is true, I want to have my body in the best position to go downhill. This was also my attitude going into chemotherapy, and that apparently did me good.

These are my immediate goals for 2006 (I've also got dart goals, but I won't bore you with them!). The nice thing with goals is that you can add to them as the year goes on. I don't like standing still, so you can imagine that I will be constantly dreaming up new ways to throw my life upside down!

And so everyone, I wish you peace, health and happiness in 2006. May you attain all of your goals and all of your dreams...