Do angels have birthdays?

For years, a boy ran around town, having fun and playing.
He kept busy, as he never wanted to be bored.
There were two reasons for this:
1) He didn’t like to be bored; and
2) He was afraid that he’d realize how alone he was.
One day, while playing, a shiny light caught the boy’s attention and he failed to see the wall until it was too late –
WHAM!
The wall hit him like it was a ton of bricks.
Forget the fact that it really was a ton of bricks – you get the point.
Anyhow, as the boy laid in bed recovering from his wounds,
He began to understand how lonely he really was.

The boy wasn’t really sad, though, he figured that if he was meant to find someone special he would – whether or not he wanted to.
Once he healed, the boy decided to donate some of his time to a charity that helped others who ran into walls.
One day, while working at Builda’s Club, the boy was introduced to a kind-hearted girl.
They chatted a bit, and after they had gone their separate ways, the boy knew he had just met someone special.

But the boy had stuff to do… he had some playing to take care of.
And so he played and played a bit more.
One day, someone asked him if he kept in touch with the special girl.
He hadn’t, so he decided to e-mail her and say hi.

As things go, the boy and girl ended up dating.
The boy was selfish, though, and found that although he requested crazy things from the special girl – such as frog’s lips or chicken’s nipples – she found a way for him to have them.

At night, when the boy went to bed, he found himself wondering more and more:
Was this girl really an angel in disguise??

So when he saw her, he would look for clues:
Did she hide her wings? Did she have a warm, comforting smile? Did he feel best when he was around her?
And more often than not, the answers were “yes”.

The boy found himself falling in love… something he wasn’t entirely familiar with.
But she was patient with him… angels do that, too.
He asked her to marry him, and be his angel for the rest of his life.
She said yes.

Apparently, no one really knows if angels have birthdays.
On January 23, 2007, the world will find out for sure.

No matter to the boy, really.
It’s just another day.
Another day to make sure his angel knows how much he loves her.

Yes, he will possibly try to spoil her, too.
Maybe he’ll take her out to dinner.
Maybe he’ll take her out of town.
Maybe he’ll write a story about a little boy and a special girl
And tell the world that he loves her.

Happy Birthday, Sheryl. I love you, baby!

Having a Mid-Life Crisis?

Not me! I had my first mid-life crisis at the age of 11, when the family dog bit my nose off. The joy and fun of childhood ended then and there. From that moment on, I was an adult – and not a very happy one at that.

So I turned my anxieties into dreams and goals. I worked towards those dreams and goals, rarely aware of what I was doing. One day, BAM! A goal was achieved. Another day, BAM! Another one down! And so it happened: BAM! BAM! BAM!

Misery was displaced by achievement and satisfaction. Not REplaced, mind you… just DISplaced.

I focused on changing the world and being a good role model for my nieces and nephews. After all, I would never be a parent.

It was about that time that Thomas Hodgkin decided to hand me my second mid-life crisis: Hodgkin’s Disease.

I soaked that summer in chemotherapy and Neupogen, watching as my goals and dreams melted along with my cancer tumors. My misery magnified.

It grew and grew, magnified until the inevitable happened:

It imploded and ate itself.

Yesterday, I sat with a whole new life ahead of me. Today, I sit with a whole new life ahead of me. Tomorrow will bring the same.

29 years ago today, a little boy lost his nose and his innocence. He lost the definition of joy and unadulterated happiness.

But today, thanks to that little boy, and Thomas Hodgkin, I’ve allowed myself to lower the guard, to let Sheryl in, and as a result, I am happier than I’ve been for most of my life.

Arguments and Aggrievances

I used to be extremely passionate before I got cancer. I would argue about anything close to my heart. In fact, I once got into a bunch of trouble for telling my boss that the way he wanted to do something was asinine. I still think that, but I would handle things differently now.

For example, I busted my butt on my first project at the new job, and thought that the end result was awesome. However, the customer thought otherwise, and made suggestions that I feel “dumb down” the project. It’s pretty silly, actually.

However, they are the customer, and my response is “whatever they want” - whereas some of the people I work with are ready to argue for what’s already been accomplished.

The bottom line is that there is a time to argue, and there is a time to not. Cancer helps you to re-evaluate what’s important.

This is a common understanding with Sheryl, too. With her experience in the cancer world, she sees, too, what is worth arguing about and what isn’t. Sometimes, I will try to get her to argue with me for the sake of working something out in my head, and she won’t even bite.

Most times, when Sheryl and I disagree about something, one or the other will relent almost immediately. After all, is it really important to win the argument? Is it important to lose?

It all comes out in the wash, and usually, no good comes from heated arguments.

Should I be passionate about this project at work? Yeah, a little, but it’s WAY more important to me to keep this job.

Now before it is suggested that I am simply a candy-ass, let me ask one question:

Does it matter whether I am or not?

Not to me, it’s not.

Carpe' De Living Room

At 5:30am today, I sat, contemplating me – and why I do some of the things that I do.

See, I had been figuring out what I wanted to accomplish during the day ahead of me, and thought about what I had accomplished yesterday.

After I got home from work yesterday, I tried to achieve every possible thing I could before sitting down in front of the TV for the night. After all, once I get there, it’s tough to get back up!

So I worked out, I made a couple of phone calls, I took returnables out to the garage, I washed dishes… By the time Sheryl came home, I was mostly done with everything. And yep, sure enough, I sat down in front of the TV.

The weird thing is that I’m not used to having so much time on my hands. When I worked in hell, my hours were typically 9:30am to 6:15pm. I completely under-utilized my time. I stayed up late, woke up late, and was completely lethargic. After all, I wasn’t doing something I wanted – something that excited me. I always felt like I never had enough time to do things around the house, or spend time with Sheryl.

Because of my cancer experience, I’ve developed the urge to milk as much out of each day as I can. This urge was squashed during the last year.

Yes, I still wanted to accomplish as much as possible, but the job drained me, and I finished each day as a lump of Jell-o.

Last night, I laid in bed and wondered if I made the most out of my day. I felt that I hadn’t, even though I had tied up a lot of loose ends.

My life is re-invigorated with this new job. I am excited about life and all of the great things to do. Sheryl and I have been able to do things I’ve wanted to do for a very long time, and I’m ecstatic about taking her out of town for her birthday at the end of this month.

I am energized every day. It is a beautiful feeling, but yet when 5:30am rolls around, I find myself wondering:

Am I taking carpe’ diem a little too seriously?

Issues

When I get to my awesome job in the morning, it’s typically around 7am. This poses a few potential issues for me.

First, keep in mind that I’m a night person. Man, I love my nights. I love being awake when everyone is asleep. Ironically, I feel the same way in the morning, but in the morning, I am usually struggling to wake up, so the magic eludes me until night time.

So, in order to get to work at 7am, I have to get up at 5am. Granted, much of this time is spent puttering around – all I’ve really got to do is eat breakfast and take a shower. Combined, that takes me 35 minutes. Add to that my 20 minute drive to work, and I could technically get up at 6:05am.

But… I like to take a little time to wake up before taking a shower. I check e-mail, listen to the radio, and sometimes make lunch or wash dishes. It’s all good.

The problem comes around 1:30pm. See, by the time I get to work, I am highly focused on what I want to accomplish, and energized. This is partially because of my morning crankiness – a trait that keeps people away from me.

So I bust my ass all morning long… working, working, working… at 11:30 I eat lunch. And then the productivity slows. Then proceeds to get worse and worse, until between 1:30 and 3pm, I am seriously ready for a nap!

Once I get home – approximately 4pm – I have a perfect opportunity to take a nap! Yay! However… if I take a nap, I know that I’ll be getting to bed after 11pm, making my 5am alarm WAY too early!

So then I have to decide… is it worth the risk, or do I ride/work out instead? The ride/work out will energize me! HooHa! And I’ll be ready for the evening.

So as I sit here contemplating my options/potential issues, I’m thinking that instead of a nap, and instead of a ride/work out…

I may plop my tired ass on the recliner and watch Seinfeld re-runs while shoveling macaroni and cheese down my gullet, which will effectively ruin my option to ride/work out because riding/working out after eating is like swimming after eating, and if I know one thing, I certainly don’t want to spend my evening puking.

Pass the remote.

A Prayer for 2007

Dear God, and all of the angels that surround us –

Thank you so much for all of the amazing things you provided and helped us with in 2006. We are so blessed, lucky and happy, and we cannot express our appreciation enough.

Since we do realize our blessings, we look forward to giving back in 2007. With personal and financial support of charities, and trying to make this world a better place with our presence.

Please allow us to continue living life completely. This will allow us to give the most of ourselves. One such wish is to help us stay healthy, and become healthier in mind and body.

Please also help those who bless us with their love and friendship to stay healthy as well.

Please allow us the peace of mind and focus to foster greatness in the things that we do. This will allow us to inspire others to greatness as well. As such, we request stability in our jobs, and lives, creating harmony within which we can work and create for the betterment of others.

We look to 2007 with hope and excitement, looking forward to great achievements and learning new things.

Please bless us with guidance to be better people and an ability to affect our world in a positive way.

Thank you for everything.
Amen.