Bang Bang

So the CFO of Freddie Mac has committed suicide. Does he know something we don't? Why am I suddenly very angry at him?

I don't know if the guy had problems. That sucks if he did, and I feel for him. However, if he just took the easy way out, I would totally kick him in the nuts.

Four, Five, Six Corners (Hot Plate Heaven)

I’m sittin’ here thinkin’,
Searchin’ for a sign.
I’m wondrin’ and a’waitin’,
Searchin’ for a sign.

When the days are short,
An’ me an’ my baby are blue,
We look for some comfort,
We shiver an’ shake.

When the days grow longer,
An’ me and my baby feel twice as nice,
We look for the days to last forever,
And rarely – like never – they do.

I’m sittin’ here thinkin’,
Searchin’ for a sign.
I’m prayin’ and a’hollerin’,
Searchin’ for a sign.

There’s a diff’rent climate here these days,
We’re lookin’ fer a little more.
We have all that we want,
We’re jes’ lookin’ fer a little more.

I’m sittin’ here prayin’,
For want of a sign.
I’m wondrin’ and a’waitin’,
Searchin’ for a sign.

Blame It On...

It's pissing rain outside, but that's not going to receive the blame for my being sad. My depression this morning is caused by someone else's depression - Tyler Hamilton's.

Tyler Hamilton will always be one of my favorite professional cyclists. He was a lieutenant for Lance Armstrong for many years, and was involved in many exciting cycling moments.

And he is one tough sonuvabitch, too. In 2003, Tyler cracked his collarbone in one of the first stages of the Tour de France - and hung in there to finish the 3-week long race... he even won a stage!

A couple of days ago, Tyler admitted to taking a banned substance. This is his second occurrance, and instead of fighting the eventual ban he will receive, he has decided to retire.

Now, I have written about dopers and doping in the past. In this case, I felt that Tyler had paid his price for his previous indiscretions - a two year ban. I was shocked to hear about the current one.

But there is a story behind this - Tyler took this intentionally, as part of a natural vitamin that helps depression. Tyler was diagnosed in 2003 with depression. His family suffers from it. His grandmother, in fact, committed suicide as a result of it.

Earlier this year, Tyler stopped taking the medication that he was prescribed because it wasn't helping - and it was producing side effects that he didn't like. So he decided to try a natural vitamin that contained a banned substance.

Tyler knew he was playing with fire - I mean, if you are banned from cycling for two years for allegedly doping, you are going to be totally aware of what goes into your body. And he was caught.

I am sad that Tyler will no longer race. But I hope that he really takes the time to get himself mentally healthy. He will see that there are opportunities out there ripe for picking.

We have all gone through bouts of depression, but I can't imagine living with depression 24/7. It would be like living in Michigan, getting 70 days of sunshine per year...

Oh. Nevermind.

Tyler, you're tha bomb! Take care of yourself, and thanks for the fantastic memories!!

The Low Flow Below

Number two, number three
You can take it from me,
There’s a line in the sand
Where you must stand
To your back, step back, attack
Paint it bright black
Ahead of you, it’s true
A lesson like school, fool
Where do you lie?
On which side of the line?
Decide, don’t hide,
Where do you reside?
It’s easy, cheesy, and a little sleazy,
Take a breath and drink some tea-sy
Decide where you are
How far in the car
Take a stand, beat the band
Declare your land
And clap your hands
Clap your hands
Clap your hands
Slap your glands

Sweet Torture

When I was training to ride across Montana, I was maintaining a blistering pace of 200+ miles per week, but I struggled to recover on many days.

I would change my diet, drink protein shakes, swallow snot-consistency power gels, and oftentimes nothing worked. I would lay in bed the next day having a difficult time getting up.

"Getting old," I'd say to no one in particular.

So I tried to rest more. Which was fine. I never thought a lot about it.

Knowing what I know now, I can look at those moments as potential Sjogren's episodes. And the reason I say that is because I feel the same way these days - after my workouts at the Y - particularly after a strong cardio session.

My legs feel like worn out rubber bands held together with plaster of paris.

"Getting old?" I ask to no one in particular.

I dunno. In my mind, I don't work any harder than anyone else who isn't as exhausted as I am. Am I a sissy? In the back of my mind, I think so. But at the same time, there is still enough doubt to where I can attribute it to Sjogren's - without feeling guilty.

I try not to let it get the best of me, period. Today, I still plan to hit the weights at the Y. I'll probably do less cardio (if any) because my legs are wasted. I can then recover (aside from painting our bathroom and generally putzing around) for three days before our next swim class.

The thing that really sucks though, is always wondering if I am using my ailments as a crutch. If I am, how do I really know whether I need a break, or whether I need to suck it up?

And to make it worse, I am a cyclist at heart, which to a degree makes me yearn for physical discomfort.

So many questions. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to get definitive answers on our healthcare questions like athletes and stars do?

Oy, that is another egg to crack... not for today, though.

Have no fear, my friends, that whining sound you hear tonight will just be lil' ol' me. Have a laugh on my behalf, because I will certainly deserve it!

You Gotta Have Hart...

The other day, Sheryl and I went to see Jill Jack at the Hartland Music Hall. It was the last of Sheryl's birthday presents (yes, her birthday was in January, and no, I do not spoil her!), and we had a blast!

Mine and Sheryl's musical tastes differ greatly, but we agree on a few things: We like Los Lobos, and we like local musicians Stewart Francke, Liz Larin, and we are particularly fond of Jill Jack.

So this weekend, Jill had decided to record a couple of live shows, performing new music. Sheryl and I went to the first (Friday) show, thinking that it would be more raw and electrifying than the second (Saturday) show.

There were a few glitches in the beginning, and we could sense the nerves. But it was cool. And as the night went on, the performance got stronger and stronger.

After the break, Jill and her band played a couple of the strongest songs of the night. At that point, I realized how in tune the band was with each other, and how amazing the evening was.

In my life, I have never been able to accept comfort for too long. I had always needed change and growth. This is a quality that Jill sings about - the hunger for challenge and suckiness of normality. Other people can let moss grow under their feet.

It's been this need that has drawn me to Americana music. Music of the road, and stories along the road.

Jill's band seethed Americana Friday night, and it tweaked my wanderlust. In a good way, of course! :)

In the end, Sheryl really enjoyed herself - which was the goal of my evening - and I enjoyed myself, too. We can't wait to hear the album when it comes out. In fact, we were joking before the show that we would be a part of history - especially when Jill would say "I was reading in Rolling Stone the other day that Dee-troit audiences are the best audiences in the world! (We would cheer and holler) And Jill would continue by saying: "I thought to myself, sh*t, I've known that for ten years!"

Or maybe that was Bob Seger who said that.

State of the Art (Lather. Rinse. Repeat)

Over the last couple of years, I have become very proud of being a technical writer. I used to think that my mad tech writing skillz would lead me into a full-fledged world of engineering. And while I lingered on the fringe of engineering, I learned that not only would that world not have me, but I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted it.

As I get more comfortable in my own skin (if you will), I have begun thinking about the state of writing.

Even now, I am writing on a computer - a far cry from the pen and paper I used to write with. Technology is blowing up all around us, and it would seem ideal to be a technical writer during this explosion. The problem is, however, that along with technology comes globalization. And globalization means that you have to accept the fact that your audience may not speak your native language.

I saw this first hand when I lived in Germany. Road and safety signs are perfect examples of globalization. As writers, we need to recognize that pictures cross language barriers. Successful companies have taken heed - have you tried reading directions for an iPod lately?

Another change we face as writers is slang. Slang became very obvious in the 80s with the dawn of "ebonics". It seemed as if people within our own country spoke different languages. America, however, being the true melting pot that it is, embraced language changes and incorporated many of the differences into general understanding - Holla!

The electronic age is bringing its' own slang. I am still struggling to learn the lingo of text messaging (aka, wrtng wtht vwls), but again, it is something that we will - and must - embrace.

Gone R dyz of Lather. Rinse. Repeat. In the coming age, my art - my skill - will be less desirable, and I will have to adapt in order to survive. Yes, it is just like everything else - adapt to survive.

A dear friend of mine has amazing drawing skills. But he hasn't embraced the technology that would allow him be creative on a daily basis. On the other hand, I work with illustrators who are constantly seeking new tools to allow them to work more efficiently.

In the Detroit Institute of Arts, they house a lot of carvings, paintings and sculptures. But they also house digital art, and cutting edge media. Libraries house books, but you can also obtain books online and on CD.

I wouldn't be surprised that in the near future, we will be learning and training much like they did in "The Matrix". Just download programs into our brains. After all, when my parents went to school, they used slide rules in chemistry and physics classes. I used a calculator. And today, kids are going to class with laptop computers.

We have developed that far in 50 years. This is evident even in our country's space program. Engineers used slide rules to calculate Apollo 11 going to the moon. Today, we wouldn't even think to not incorporate computers!

So where do we stand here and now?

We're like Alice stepping into the mirror and into Wonderland.

Adapt to survive.

Goodbye Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Hello moto.