Closin' Up '06

As 2006 comes to a close, and I begin to anticipate how amazing 2007 will be, I wanted to briefly look back one more time.

My favorite events of 2006:
* Sheryl moving in / Our decision to get married
* My surprise birthday party
* Vacation in Denver
* Starting a real job
* The Gilda’s Riders’ trip to Mackinaw City

My favorite musical events:
* Roger Waters at the Palace of Auburn Hills
* Nine Inch Nails/Bauhaus at DTE Energy Theatre
* Stewart Francke at the Scarab Club
* The Hard Lessons at Gilda’s Club
* The Hard Lessons at the Arts, Beats and Eats

The Show I Wanted to Badly See, Yet Still Missed:
* The Secret Machines at the Magic Bag

My favorite new-found music:
* Boards of Canada
* The Secret Machines “Ten Silver Drops”
* Angels & Airwaves
* David Gilmour “On An Island ”
* Edgar Froese solo works
* Jerome Froese solo works

My most frequented websites:
* Cyclingnews.com
* Pink is the New Blog
* Post Secret
* Stereogum
* Retrocrush

My favorite television shows:
* Heroes
* Nip/Tuck
* Most Haunted
* In-season cycling
* In-season football
* Hockey – a people’s history (on CBC)
* Canada Russia ’72 (on CBC)

Goals for 2007:
* Make sure Sheryl gets treated best as possible
* Complete web development course at New Horizons
* Gilda’s Riders 2007 raising a minimum of $20,000
* Logging in 1,500+ miles on my bike
* Being happy as much as possible

Have a most excellent 2007 everyone! Be safe!

Tales of Santa, part 3

So… what the heck does Santa Claus do in North Pole, Colorado ?

It is well known that Mrs. Claus loves to ski. As such, Santa and friends enjoy some vacation time there at the base of Pike’s Peak .

Now, although it’s supposed to be a vacation, Santa still hangs out with the children, finding out what they want for Christmas (If you’re reading, Santa, I would like a new vehicle to take me to and from my new job!), and he spends some time in his workshop. Mrs. Claus and the elves are really the ones who vacation, and Santa is cool with that. He realizes that he’ll have his chance to chill the week following Christmas. That’s when he goes to Hawaii , where he loves to sit on the beach with a mai tai and take long naps on the hammock on his covered patio.

You may be wondering how Santa can afford to have so many different places – and that’s a great question. Many people have bequeathed some of these homes to Santa in their will. Howard Hughes was rumored to have given Santa a sackful of money to fund development of a state of the art toyshop. D.B. Cooper is said to have donated his home to Santa when he died. Needless to say, Santa was forced to hire Prycewaterhouse and Coopers to manage his finances – and this was back in the 1950s!

Hey! I just received an e-mail from Santa. Since he’s been enjoying my postings about him, he wanted me to pass this along:

Hey Matt!
Greetings from THE North Pole! The elves and I have been working feverishly to get the last minute stuff taken care of. Like many shoppers, some of these elves wait until the last minute to get their stuff done. Man, talk about stress!
If you write another blog telling the kind people about me, please let them know that I am looking forward to cookies and milk during my trip! Hehehe… the Mrs. keeps on me about my weight, and she says that I should join you and Sheryl on one of your bike rides. Can you see me on a bike??
Anyway, remind everyone that I’m doing last minute updates on the good/bad thing. There are a few surprises on the Naughty list, and they have just a few days to make it to the Nice list!
Take care, buddy. We’ll see you soon!
Kris

Well, there you have it, folks… just a few stories about Santa. Hope you’ve been good enough to be on that Nice list – I know I have!

If the events of the last few weeks had never occurred, you would be reading a completely different blog entry.

However, since I was blessed with the job I’d been seeking for four years, I can truly say that 2006 has been a good year.

I began the year jobless, and fortunately started working at a payday advance company. I hated the job with a passion, and fumbled my way along without interest or desire to achieve success. The job paid some bills and that was all that mattered.

During the month of April, I prepped the house for a new inhabitant. Sheryl and I had decided to move in together, and as every other step in our relationship, this one felt comfortable and seemed “right”.

In June, I celebrated my 40th birthday with family, friends and tequila. This was the first party that Sheryl and I held jointly, and it won’t be the last.

As the year flew by, I busied myself with plans for Gilda’s Riders. In addition to planning this fundraiser, I also had to train for it, so riding quickly came back into my life – which I loved!
Around the same time we completed a very successful Gilda’s Ride, I began to care about my job. And the store numbers began to prove it.

I realized that I really can do anything that I put my mind to, and decided to take classes in web development. It was then that I was devastated when my boss faxed me a “termination counseling” form stating that despite my store’s growth and success, I would be terminated on Dec. 23 if I didn’t sell a number of piece of shit re-loadable debit cards.

The following week, I was blessed with my new job, and happily e-mailed my resignation.

So what did I learn from 2006?
1) It is possible to be truly happy. For more than a moment or two… it’s possible to be truly happy for a number of days in a row.
2) In order to achieve happiness, we have to struggle. That makes the taste of happiness sweeter.
3) Dreams come true. But sometimes they take years to come together.
4) Patience never comes fast enough. But when it does, whoo boy, it’s worth it!

What were my accomplishments for 2006?
1) Gilda’s Riders brought together 12 people who raised $10,000 for Gilda’s Club Metro Detroit. It was a helluva struggle, but with the help of Sheryl, Jon and Sue, it came together beyond my expectations.
2) My store at Advance America grew from 110 customers to 138 once I started caring about my job. Our bad debt dropped from over $12,000 a month to under $2,000 before I left. These successes come from having compassion and respect for the customer. In that type of job, those two things are easy to forget.
3) And personally, I feel like my best accomplishment was asking Sheryl to marry me. As I mentioned before, everything we’ve done has been comfortable and makes sense to us spiritually and logically. Quite simply, my life would not be as good as it is today without her.

More thoughts on 2006 (and 2007!) to come…

Tales of Santa Claus, part 2

As I mentioned, I have been fortunate to make Santa's acquaintance, and through some of these visits, I have learned some things that people probably aren't aware of.

One such thing is the actual number of locations that Santa spends his time at. He has a place at the North Pole, but he also has a place in North Pole, Alaska (just outside of Fairbanks), and North Pole, Colorado (not far from Pike's Peak).

North Pole, Alaska is where Santa stops during his trek around the world in order to let the reindeer refuel. Since he covers so much ground in such a short period of time, those reindeer burn off a lot of calories. In order for them to stay strong enough for the full trip, Santa stops in North Pole, Alaska, where highly trained elves cultivate fields of flying reindeer food. Most of these fields are hidden by the plentiful forests, but every once in a while, if you cruise down Richardson Highway, you can sneak a peek of the flying reindeer food fields.

In the last few years, word has gone out about the health of the reindeer, and places have started selling magic reindeer food. Most of these are good quality reindeer snacks, but there have also been cases of bogus reindeer food. Of course, carrots are good for the deer, too.

More to come...?

Tales of Santa Claus, part 1

Throughout the last bunch of years, I have been meeting up with Santa Claus in often strange places and under strange circumstances.

Now, we all know that Santa has a list of good girls and boys, and we all know that he lives at the North Pole. But there are some things about Santa that not everyone knows. I will share with you some of the things I have learned about Jolly Ol' St. Nick.

Santa actually has three places that he stays at. Ironically, each one is called "North Pole". North Pole proper is where Santa, Mrs. Claus and the elves spend more of their time, making toys for the aforementioned good girls and boys.

Many people do not realize that Santa himself likes to keep his toymaking skills sharp. So nearly every day, he spends a few hours in the toyshop making toys. Santa is really cool about it, too. The elves are encouraged to learn new ways to make toys and make different kinds of toys. So Santa actually asks the elves to teach him some of these new techniques and stuff.

The biggest reason for his honing the craft of toymaking is in case Santa accidentally drops a bag of toys or if one of the reindeer accidentally step of them. Santa needs to repair the toys so the children don't get broken stuff!

Santa shared a story with me one time, which he called "the great Tickle Me Elmo fiasco". As he was speeding through California one year, one of the fighter jets that often escort him (see www.noradsanta.org), got too close and caused some unexpected turbulence. As a result, the bag that carried Tickle Me Elmo's fell thousands of feet, crashing into the desert.

This also happened to be the year that Tickle Me Elmo was all the rage, and EVERYBODY wanted one! So Santa told me that he had to fly around the surrounding areas and sprinkle emergency sleeping dust all over the place, to ensure he had enough time to fix the toys before delivering them!

He then called a few of his elite elves - who stay on shift for all of Christmas Eve just in case anything like this happens - and sent Donner and Blitzen off to retrieve the elves while he got started with the repairs. In a flash, all of the Tickle Me Elmo's were repaired to their original condition, and delivered only an hour later than expected!

So who knows... maybe YOUR Tickle Me Elmo was one of the bunch that Santa tells stories about!

More tales to come...?

The First Day...

Well, it's finally happened. I got a new job. Holy sh!t, it feels great!

I was told I had the job Thursday afternoon, and Friday I quit my job from hell (after signing the papers for the new job!) and started celebrating!! I start the new job Monday. Yay!!

This job is everything I wanted in a job for the time being, and it's a huge relief to finally be back into something I love.

My life has actually been a bit backwards from everyone else's. People seem to get into jobs/careers they hate, and then turn 40 and realize what they really want to do. I, on the other hand, got into work that I enjoyed, then by 40 was stuck into a crap job I didn't like!

But finally, that is over. As I've been telling Sheryl, this is the first day of our great life together. Previously, it had been good... Because of her, it's been good. But now, I feel like a kid who got all the Christmas presents he ever asked for!

The sun shines everywhere I look! :)

More soon!

How Does it Feel when You Accomplish Something Great?

This weekend, we accomplished the first Gilda’s Riders event. Although the event raised over $7,000 for Gilda’s Club Metro Detroit, I'm still a little numb and don’t really feel the gratification of doing something amazing.

Sheryl and I went to Mackinaw City on Friday, and once there, we headed to the island for a short stroll. After we got back, we registered for the ride, and drove the “parcourse”, so Sheryl would have an idea of what the ride entailed. By the time we got to the finish, she was scared, not sure of what she got herself into.

A little later, we went to dinner with Jon, Sue and Beth. The dinner was great, but the service really lacked. It was late, so we went back to the hotel and hit the hay.

Saturday morning, we got up too early, and got ready. The weather was gorgeous. Since 7 of our 12 riders were shooting for the 100 mile ride, we met at 7:15 for a team picture.

After pictures, we rolled out around 7:30. It was important for Sheryl to ride at her own pace, and the rest of us ended up dropping her relatively quickly. At the first downhill, I took a flier trying to warm up a bit before hitting the first hill. It felt great.

By the time we got to the first water stop, our group was down to 6. Although I was only riding 50 miles, I was keeping up pretty well with the 100 mile riders until we got to the real hills, where I got dropped. I kept close to the rest, and nearly caught the front 3 when the road split for the 50 mile course.

When I got to the first food stop, I was possibly within the first 10 to arrive. I lounged around a little bit, then continued down the road. The hills kept rolling, and my legs were getting very tired.

Aside from all this was the beauty surrounding me. The leaves were starting to change colors, and one of my favorite sections of the ride went through Wilderness National Park, where there are a number of sand dunes - a bit of the Sahara in the middle of Michigan!

As typical, I rode the rest of the ride by myself, averaging 14 miles per hour as I rode past the next water stop. The uphill grind was tearing my thighs apart, when I finally broke through to level ground.

Normally, on the long stretches of this ride, we have a head wind. This year, we were fortunate to have a tail wind instead. So I fiercely pedalled along - getting bored to the point where I began whistling to myself. I've NEVER whistled to myself on a bike ride before!

My neck and shoulders ached terribly, and I tried to relieve the pain by making circular motions with my arms. When I got to the last rest stop, I still felt strong, and knew I made the right decision to ride 50 miles. Still averaging nearly 14 mph, I finally rolled in at noon.

And what did I see??

Sheryl, smiling and waving to me. She did it - she rode her personal best 25 miles!! On top of that, she finished at 10:00am!

We lingered for a litle while, sharing stories of the road - my favorite part of the ride - then headed back to the hotel for a shower and change of clothes.

Once cleaned up, we went to the Keyhole Bar to eat and wait for other Gilda's Riders. We wolfed down some serious bar food, then broke our ice cream fast with a waffle cone. We were then ready to fall into a post-ride coma.

Around 6pm, Sue and Jon came by. We shared more stories of the road, and found out bit by bit that every one of our team members achieved their personal goals! It was VERY rewarding for me to hear that.

Six of us went to dinner at Audie's, and while we were finishing up our meals, a parade of trucks began.

Coming from the UP, these rigs blew their horns and lit up their trucks while circling Mackinaw City. It lasted at least an hour, as we completed our meals and headed back to our hotel, only to get stuck in the parade traffic!

Sheryl and I wound down the day by sitting at the campfire, sharing more stories of the day and talking about the potential of this event.

We headed to bed, and slept hard until we woke up at Sheryl's typical 5:45am.

We gradually packed up, grabbed breakfast, and headed back home.

Gilda's Riders - Mark 2006, is over.

We had many successes, many lessons learned, and a lot of excitement. Some of our riders were talking about doing it again next year - so that is encouraging.

But for me, it is time to refocus my energy on a job search, and darts. Over the next few weeks, we will ensure all of the monies have been properly attributed to our event, and then have a final tally. My original goals of 10 riders, and $7,000 have been exceeded. We had 12 riders, and the grand total is yet to be totaled.

The money we raised will be used to fund the programs at Gilda's Club Metro Detroit - a place that has helped me in so many ways. After all, I met my real-life angel there - Sheryl. And now we were able to give back a little bit.

So how does it feel when you accomplish something great?

It feels like there's something even greater to be achieved.

Stay tuned! :)

Rainy Day Dream Away

I want to begin this blog by thanking Kid Rock - his belief in my book, and his willingness to promote it to mass distribution.

Yeah, then I woke up - another one of my kooky dreams.

So this morning, we woke up to rain. We've needed rain for a while, and of course, it decides to water the grass the same day that we're supposed to have a training ride with Frankie Andreu!

Ah well, hopefully we'll reschedule before the big ride in three weeks.

Ride-wise, things are finally in slow-down mode. We are hitting up our donors and training. The jerseys are being printed and our sponsors really came through for us. I am really proud to have been able to work with Sheryl, Jon and Sue during the planning of this event. They have certainly made my vision become a reality!

My brother and his family came home for the weekend from Atlanta. It is always so good to have the family together, and we had the profound opportunity to do that last night. With everyone finally doing well, it appears that the only thing that needs to happen yet for our family is for me to get a real job. And it appears that it will likely happen sometime soon.

I've finally gotten a number of good leads, and I look forward to getting back into the business!

Dart season is coming up soon, too. We had our banquet from last season on this past Friday, and it was a little strange... see, in order to bring in a couple of new players into the league, we had to split up our team, which I had come into the league with. Hopefully, though, we can grow the league into one that is bigger and better as a result. One never knows!

Life is good right now. With all the job leads, there is a lot of hope. I can't wait to finally do the things with Sheryl that I've always wanted to do... like travel, go to nice restaurants, and even buy her the occasional floral bouquet. She just ordered her first pair of bike shorts today, so it looks like we're on tap to do more riding together.

I wonder if there are people out there still reading this blog besides Nicole. I want to thank anyone who does read this for their patience. It's been a crazy summer planning Gilda's Riders, and I haven't been able to keep up with everything.

On one more note, August 31 will be the 4th anniversary of my last chemo treatment. October 23, 2007 will be my official five year anniversary.... Ho-lee shizzle...

So what comes next after Gilda's Riders? Well, perhaps Gilda's Riders 2. More importantly to me, however, I will be working on a cancer survivor program. The one I need still eludes me, so maybe it's up to me to make it happen.

What do I need exactly? I don't know. But what I do know is that there is still a lot of crap in my head that needs to be straightened out. See, it appears that life is good and well - which it is - but inside, there are still a lot of issues I need to resolve. But whatever I've got to say about that will have to wait for another day.

Until then, I'll dream away...

Blah Blah Blog...

Blogging has been a great way to express myself and keep my writing chops in shape.

However, there has been so much on my plate lately, that it's been difficult to keep up. As it is, I am writing this on my Palm while passing time at 41B district court in Mt. Clemens.

My days are spent at a job that I despise, and clouds my vibrance while sucking the life out of me.

Ever since my cancer experience, I never expected to be in such a position. However, I do it because I have to - I cannot quit because of my commitment to Sheryl and my house - wait, did I just use "commitment" and "Sheryl" in the same sentence??

Anyhow, this sucky job is also building character... apparently, I need more character...

Believe it or not, the purpose of this blog is not to bitch about my job... rather, it is also to speak about the successes we are having with Gilda's Riders. As I began saying - before I spun WAY off tangent - my days are spent at work, and once I get home, I eat, then make my way through bunches of e-mails - most of which I am immediately unable to respond to.

Most of these e-mails revolve around Gilda's Club / Gilda's Riders.

Because we got a late start on the event, we're rushing around like crazy. However, we've been successful in securing sponsors, and getting our jerseys in line. Finally, we are seeing fruits of our labor!

Next steps include group rides and attracting more riders and donations. If you are interested at all in making a tax-deductible donation to Gilda's Riders, you can send checks to Gilda's Club Metro Detroit, or you can donate online - just make sure you mention "Gilda's Riders" in the memo fields!

Come September 19, I will be in a position to write about something else.... or will I? Hmmm...

I can't wait to find out!

The Road to Forever

At what point did time start moving so fast? I've neglected this site so badly that my one or two readers are probably off reading something else at this point...

I'll pause a moment for them to come back...

Hmmmm... just a moment more, then I gotta move on with this.

Hello? Okay, well, I guess we're the only ones here now.

So my life these days has been consumed by the bike, Gilda's Club and the job that I really don't like. And because summer nights always get me in a contemplative mood, here I am contemplating things...

I met an amazing woman Saturday - Heidi Adams, the brains behind www.planetcancer.com. Although we have communicated via e-mail on occasion (mostly my saying that she really needed to have my book for sale on her website!), she probably didn't recognize me or my name. Nonetheless, she asked me what I was up to, and I told her about the job and the Gilda's Riders event. Her response - so you're still feeding your soul - nailed where I seem to be right now.

I feel like I am momentarily caught in a job that nurtures mediocrity. And my destiny is far from simple mediocrity - I truly feel that I am destined for greatness... but I need to find that greatness and let it out.

Gilda's Riders is a good step in that direction, and I try to keep that in mind.

Yep. Greatness is within my grasp... I just need to quit flailing about and grab the damn thing!

In the meantime, I'll bide my time, enjoy each day for what it is worth and watch the cosmos for opportunities of brilliance...

Thirty Sleeping Dogs

As the last few hours of my thirties creep by, I can say without regret:

Buh - frickin' - bye!

The years between 30 and 39 have been both amazing and yucky. I put 15,000+ miles on my bike, saw Alaska and Montana and Iowa via two wheels, I met an amazing woman (who moved in with me), and I have met some of the most influential people in my life.

But, I also went through 4 different jobs, lost a couple of the most amazing men in my life and oh yeah, had a bout of cancer.

I'm not going to dwell on all that has been. I am grossly a "glass half full guy", and every day is my future, and I see moments of brilliance and occurrences of something amazing happening every day.

Bring on 40. I'm ready for anything...

And ready to make awesome things happen.

Let sleeping dogs lie and let the thirties go by
I'm not gonna miss them.

Got Ketchup?

Pete Campbell once told me that the greatest compliment anyone could give you was to throw you a surprise birthday party. Although Pete was an idiot, I had to agree.

This weekend, I was given the greatest compliment. For those of you who were there, I cannot thank you enough. I am a very lucky person to have the friends and family I have. My beloved mentor, George Clark, told me over and over again that good attracts good. And if that's true, then I must truly be a good person.

The most beautiful thing that happened for me Saturday night occurred almost immediately after I walked in. I made my way around the room and greeted every person in attendance.

Oh, and the tequila shots didn't suck too much, either! :)

A lot of people get hung up on turning a certain age. In my case, it was 28. I was celebrating my birthday while living in Texas, and I felt like I hadn't lived up to the amazing things that I should have been doing with my life.

Seven years later, I was celebrating my birthday loaded to the gills with chemo.

It's all about perspective. Turning 40 will be a blessing.

My dad died at the age of 48, and my goal ever since then was to see 49. But as long as I have some semblance of health, why not shoot for 80+?

I spent 39 years accomplishing everything I needed to accomplish in life. Now, there are amazing things that I need to accomplish with Sheryl by my side. You just watch... one of these days, Sheryl and I will be on Oprah or something, inspiring others to achieve the great things that are already inside of them.

I can't wait for June 20th and my 40th birthday. I can't wait for my 50th birthday and 60th, too.

Each and every day is chock full of stories and accomplishments, and as fast as time goes by, each year is like a lifetime to me.

I am a lucky man, and am eternally grateful for all of my friends and family - particularly the ones who helped me usher in my 4th decade of life.

God bless and all good things...

Ahhh... a day of complete and absolute rest...

It started by waking up by 9am, going out and sitting on the deck, enjoying the sounds of morning.

Then, all of a sudden, I'm trimming bushes in the front yard, edging and mowing the lawn, and watering the grass! It was 90 frigging degrees outside!

Oy. I need to re-evaluate my days of rest...

Times like these...

I got home from work today, thinking one thought: I'm so glad that I can ride tonight!

My training mileage was upped yesterday to 15 miles per day, 3-4 times per week. Damn, it feels good to push myself again!

And I don't just mean physically. A girl once told me that there's nothing a little VO2 max and Eastern religion can't take care of. She was talking about martial arts, but the same goes for riding. If you ride long enough, you will suffer. Sufferring brings on the fight or flight reactions in your body, which in turn heighten your sense of awareness.

Once you complete the sufferring, your body still hums on that heightened sense of awareness. And although I've been off the bike for 3 hours, that's still where I am.

Life is good.
Life is great.

Thanks, Frankie!

Wow. Today was one of those days when you don't realize all of the greatness going on around you until you look back on it.

We kicked off Gilda's Riders with a lecture by Frankie Andreu. Frankie talked about behind the scenes of the Tour de France. It was quite entertaining. We had pictures taken, and Frankie left with a copy of Cancerboy.

I gotta say, Frankie was a lot of fun, and a terrific person.

Here is a little speech I prepared for tonight:

Hi. My name is Matt Cummings. I am a volunteer and member here at Gilda's Club. I am also a cancer survivor.

Prior to my diagnosis in 2002, I had participated in MS rides and the AIDS vaccine research rides. As a result, I was in the best shape of my life when I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease.

Quite simply, cycling saved my life.

Once I finished my chemotherapy and radiation treatments, I was consumed with the need to give back. And that's how I ended up here at Gilda's Club.

I developed a deep love for this place - a place that helps so many people in the Metro Detroit area.

One of the greatest things about this place - aside from the staff and membership - is all of the programs it provides for free to cancer patients, survivors, their friends and families.

Last November, I was extemely fortunate to meet Frankie Andreu and share my concept of a fundraiser that combines two of my passions - cycling and Gilda's Club.

The fact that Frankie is here tonight to help us launch the fundraiser is not only a testament to the concept, but also to Frankie's character, and his desire to give back to his community as well.

This fundraiser is called "Gilda's Riders", and consists of a team of riders who will train to ride the Big Mac Scenic Fall Tour in September, while committing to raise a minimum of $250 a piece.

I would like for you to consider joining Gilda's Riders - we have information available on the table outside of this room. If you've already decided to join us, we have a sign up sheet out there as well. If nothing else, I hope you will at least consider making a donation to this wonderful place.

With that said, I am extremely honored to introduce an American cycling legend, Frankie Andreu.

We had a couple of people sign up to be on our team, and a bunch of people took information home with them.

I feel like I've been working so hard on this project, and tonight a slight weight has been taken off my shoulders. What's really important to me is that Michael Radner thought tonight was a success. And looking at it from his point of view, it really was.

Part of cancer's devastation is that you can rarely predict it. When those people left Gilda's Club tonight, nearly every one of them walked away with some sort of information pertaining to Gilda's Club.

After all, since we're all on this planet together, we may as well help each other out, eh?

Crazy is just another point of view...

Sometimes life just gets freakishly crazy. For me, that time is right now.

Despite what it may sound like, I am not complaining. I enjoy being busy, as long as I know there will be a chance to relax after the work is done.

These days, "the work" includes getting the house in shape after Sheryl moved in, and preparations for our big Frankie Andreu lecture at Gilda's Club on Wednesday, kicking off the Gilda's Riders fundraiser.

Keeping up with these things while maintaining 2 nights of darts per week and one night of tai chi is pretty difficult. That's the only reason I'm glad that both dart seasons are over for me.

Let me take a step back, though, and talk a bit about Sheryl moving in. Prior to her move, I worked at fixing up the bedroom - it was the only room in the back of my house that hasn't been touched since I moved in back in December 1996. I removed carpeting, replaced a ceiling fan, and painted, painted, painted!

Once she moved in, though, we had to find a place for Sheryl's stuff... combining 2 households into 1 has been interesting. But the nice thing is that both of us realize that our stuff is simply "stuff", and we are finding that we have an attachment to only a few things. Everything else goes in a garage sale!!

While still wading though that "stuff", we have been dedicating a lot of time to "Gilda's Riders". From developing a logo and flyers to discussing sponsorship levels, we have been neck deep in this project. Fortunately, we have had amazing support from some friends and family members, which has taken much of the stress of us, so we can deal with getting our house together.

Nonetheless, things have been extremely stressful. Although I'm nearly 40, I still consider myself pretty young, though, and can handle the stress for now. Once we get past the phrenetic preparations of Frankie's lecture, we'll have a brief moment to breathe before the second wave hits...

It's all good. I love my life and I all but one thing about it right now. That one thing is that I had a second interview with a company that seemed right up my alley last week, but they apparently went with someone else. Really took the wind right outta me.

But... everything happens for a reason, and I know that something amazing awaits me each time I get out of bed.

And I can't wait to find out what it is!!!

Gilda's Riders FAQs, part 1

It's not always easy to fully explain your own concept. Being too close to the issue, it's hard to step back and look at broad issues. As a result, I have invited some people to ask questions about the Gilda's Riders fundraiser for Gilda's Club. Here is part one:

What happens if I am 1/2 way through the ride and can't make it all of the way?

The Big Mac ride - which we wil be doing - has 25, 50, 75 and 100 mile courses. Although it is our goal to train for the 100 mile ride, riding the 100 miles is not required. You can choose to ride a shorter distance. Also, the ride will have a sag wagon available. If you have problems or need help, someone will be by to help you out.

Do all of the funds I raise go directly to Gilda's Club?

Yes, yes, yes! There is a planning committee, and a group of other people, who are working to find Gilda's Riders sponsors - companies that will donate to the cost of the event in return for their logo being placed on our jerseys for advertising purposes. However, as a rider, ALL donations you receive will go directly to Gilda's Club Metro Detroit.

What kind of support will be available for me during the ride? (Water, ambulance, etc.)

The ride course has plenty of water and food stops, and as I mentioned, there are regular drive-bys from sag wagons

Are there any places to take a break for lunch, or to use the bathroom?

Every 10 miles or so, there are break stops, where you can get some food, fluids and relieve yourself as well. In addition, there are plenty of wooded areas if you can't quite hold it...

What happens if it rains? Is there an alternate date?

The event will take place on September 16, rain or shine.

Well, that's all for now! Stay tuned!

Bee Busy

Things will start slowing down a little bit now, and I might be able to post a little more often. I am looking forward to focusing on riding again - especially since the warmer weather seems to have broken here in the midwest...

ATTENTION BICYCLISTS
(AND CYCLING WANNABE’S)!

Gilda’s Club Metro Detroit is now recruiting individuals
in search of an amazing journey!

¨ Do you have something to prove to yourself?
¨ Do you believe that you can be an even greater source of inspiration to someone you love?
¨ Do you want to support Gilda’s Club?
¨ Do you believe in aiming high?

Become a part of something BIG… join Gilda’s Riders!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
With the help of
2-Time Olympian and 9-Time Tour de France rider
(and Lance Armstrong teammate)
Frankie Andreu…
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Our goals are:
¨ to help you train for and ride up to 100 miles in one day

in Mackinaw City, MI in September 2006, and;
¨ to raise at least $2,500 for Gilda’s Club Metro Detroit!

TOGETHER, WE CAN DO IT!!

For more information, please contact:
Michelle Warren Matt Cummings
(248) 577-0800 or (248) 547-8033
mwarren@gildasclubdetroit.org mattc2k3@yahoo.com

Miles to Goal...

Recently, I blogged about how my Hodgkin's diagnosis altered my ability to set goals. I said that I haven't figured out how to regain my goal-focus.

Well, things have improved dramatically.

They say that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I've recently realized that my lack of goal setting was a problem, and it hindered any attempts I made at achieving the great things that I've been put on this planet to do.

So I started training in the morning before I went to work, riding 10 miles prior to eating breakfast and taking a shower. Riding has always helped clear my head, but it wasn't solely the riding that helped me out this time.

When I get into the shower, I repeat my daily affirmations over and over. Then, on my way into work, I shut off the car radio and really come to terms about myself, my life and my future. It has been the best silence ever.

I finally came to understand that I am a helper by nature. I don't require riches or toys. I don't require fame or the spotlight. However, I am willing to take on all of those things if it will help someone or something else.

Unknowingly, Sheryl has helped me understand a lot more about myself than I expected. Her love and support gives me a safety net. She's always behind me, rooting me on, and seeing as that I've never allowed anyone to do that for me before, I'm realizing what I've missed out on.

A few weeks ago, I sat down and forced myself to envision a future. My experience with cancer made me realize that today may be our last, and that is how I lived my life for nearly four years. This was my downfall.

Although it is incredibly important to realize that life is precious, and that each breath could be our last, we still need to plan for the future.

For me, my future is now paved with goals, and I feel like a complete person again. I am hungry and ambitious. I am extremely happy and gratious.

I can't wait to see how much more amazing my life will be!

The Pressure (in the tires) Is On!

The other day, I was telling Sheryl that I can't wait to blog about important stuff, rather than blogging about personal updates. Well, guess what?? Important stuff rears its head!

Yesterday, I sent out an e-mail, discussing the bike ride fundraiser I'm doing for Gilda's Club. The meat and potatoes:

####################
Each September, there is a ride that occurs in Mackinaw City, called the "Big Mac". A person can ride 25, 50, 75 or 100 miles during this one-day bike tour.

I had the idea that we could get a team of people together and train to accomplish the 100 mile route. In addition, we could get each person to raise a minimum of $250. Occasionally, riders might answer questionnaires and perhaps even document their journey in a notebook. They might even be interviewed.

All of this documentation would be put together into a book, which could also be sold to generate additional funds for Gilda's Club.

To motivate us, I thought it would be cool to have a local cycling celebrity come do a presentation at Gilda's Club. Well, not only did 2-time Olympian and 9-time Tour de France rider (not to mention long-time teammate of Lance Armstrong and OLN commentator) Frankie Andreu agree to this, but he also offerred to develop training plans to help us achieve our goal, PLUS, he agreed to do a training ride with us as well!

This event has suddenly become a series of exciting possibilities for Gilda's Club, and although it's still early, I have a goal for this event to raise $7,000 - not including the proceeds from the book.

Here is where I am in great need of help. I am seeking riders, donors and sponsors.

Riders - join my team and challenge yourself to train and ride 100 miles (the cycling equivalent of a marathon) in Mackinaw City in September 2006. Each rider will be required to raise a minimum of $250.

Donors - Gilda's Club is a non-profit organization. Donations are tax-deductible. Personally, I am seeking to raise $1,500, so a donation of any amount would be appreciated and put to great use at the clubhouse.

Sponsors - the team of riders will be dealing with transportation issues, to and from Mackinaw City, as well as bike supplies and Mackinaw City accommodations. We are looking for companies willing to sponsor us to help offset those costs. Each sponsor will have their logo printed on our team jersey, which will be worn during training rides, and at the Big Mac ride itself.

I am also on the lookout for a handful of planning committee members. Lord knows I can use more input!

If you - and/or anyone you know - are interested in knowing more about any of these opportunities, please please PLEASE contact me and let me know. I would be happy to provide further details. Heck, I'll bring you to Gilda's Club and show you what a wonderful place it is, and why it's worth participating in this event!
##################

I never know who is reading my blog, so I wanted to put the info out here and see what sort of response I get. I am really excited to take this journey and see where it ends up. The money will help keep Gilda's Club providing much needed support for people who are experiencing cancer - either their own or a loved one's.

Well, that's about it for now... blog ya later!

Whirlwind, whirl!

I've got to admit... right now, my life is amazing. Crazy. Crazily amazing.

Prior to being treated for Hodgkin's Disease, I was goal-oriented and successful. I had recognized that my career was starting to go nowhere, and thought I'd head off into a new direction - in occupational therapy. Well, the universe had other plans for me. I got sick and although I survived, my life was turned upside down.

I wanted to do everything, and not miss a single opportunity. I wanted to have fun for the rest of my life... and that's exactly where I headed. Jobless, I met an amazing girl, but wasn't able to give her the things I wanted to give her. Heck, I couldn't even afford flowers.

Then I got that five-week job, and getting laid off from there REALLY sucked the wind out of me. I completely lost any focus I thought I had... and ambition? That could have been a four-letter word for all I knew!

So here I am, a changed man.

I came to understand everything I was doing wrong. I learned that I was goal-less and unfocused. I had forgotten it all.

But not anymore.

So what's so different these days? Well, to start, I've got this job that has forced me to look at what I REALLY wanted from a job. And I started to focus. I started making goals. I started to change the defeatist thoughts I had.

And positive things have already come about. I had an interview last week for a job right up my alley. This week, I'm supposed to have a second interview with the company.

I am getting things underway for the big bike ride fundraiser for Gilda's Club in September. I am gathering together a few folks who can help make this happen - and it's very exciting!

So, despite being incommunicado for a while, things are going really well. I am so excited about how things are going now, and am really looking forward to see how things pan out in the future. I realize why I am on this planet, and I am constantly looking for opportunities to accomplish my purpose.

Wow, that sounded cult-ish!

Anyhow, with so much going on, I may not be blogging very regularly... but keep checking, I'll be blogging as often as I can!

If you've got any thoughts, or a desire to help me make this Gilda's Club fundraiser amazing, or just wanna say hi, drop me a line: mattc2k3@yahoo.com

Ciao for now!

Oodles O' Fun

Hey gang, thanks for checking in! It's been forever since I blogged, and unfortunately, I don't have a lot of time to catch up right now.

Lots of amazing things have been happening! I'll keep you posted as soon as I get some time! :)

Much love, much peace!

Cancerboy as survivor

I've been noodling around with an idea for a sequel to "Cancerboy". It talks about what happens after I survived cancer.

I'm curious to see how many other people were affected by cancer survivorship like I am.

See, when you achieve the title of "survivor", life is amazing. You realize that you can do anything... and you can do everything. And you don't have to do anything you don't want to.

Cancer rewrote the rules of life for me. I lost my career drive and lost the understanding for needing and achieving goals. I found myself waiting to pounce on the next great experience - the next thing that would define my reason for being on this planet - without ever achieving anything.

This month, I honor the 4th anniversary of my Hodgkin's diagnosis. My life is nothing like it was four years ago - and definitely for the better. But there are those nagging thoughts about why I can't seem to develop and shoot for goals - I was always a goal-oriented person.

The world isn't yet fully aware of the needs of cancer survivors - and I don't know what specifically is needed.

All I know is that I love and adore my life so much more now than I did pre-Hodgkin's. There are significant parts of my life that are extremely more fulfilling than ever before - particularly my love life. But there are other parts of my life that are lacking more than ever - particularly my career. And I wonder why. Is it normal?

I don't know. I think perhaps I need to keep noodling.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

My mother is a saint. Not only that, but she taught my brothers and I some of the most important things in life. In my mind, respect is probably the top of that list.

This week, I was doing some reading... trying to understand my role on this planet a little more fully. As a result, by Friday, I felt like I had a pretty good grasp on things... and then it happened...

Despite working towards getting past my ego, I found myself feeling disrespected by a co-worker. I got angry. Pissed. But then I realized that I was the only one who was hurt by this. I was able to let it go.

Temporarily, it seems.

At darts that night, a guy on the other team started the whole disrespect thing, too. This time, it wasn't only against me, but also against some of my teammates.

And I realized that no matter how hard I work at getting past things like these, there are always assholes in the world - people who may care so little about themselves that they feel the need to impose their misery upon the rest of us.

Although this may come off like I'm whining, the purpose of this post goes beyond my stories. I just want to remind people how much better the world is - how much more fun life is - if we all treat each other with a little respect. Remember the golden rule? We're so much better than we give ourselves credit for. Let's start living that way, eh?

Peace and love, kids!

The Tide is Turning, Sylvester...

Well, it certainly seems like my life continues to change. With this job I'm at, I am constantly changing locations and hours. The days are getting longer, and there's that itchy feeling that spring is right around the corner.

I feel like things around me are refusing to stand still... that I can't plant my feet firmly on the ground. And that tells me that my life is in the middle of evolution.

I can't say that I'm comfortable with that feeling, but I do feel a sense of reuniting with an old friend - change.

See, with the struggles I've had over the past year or two... or should I say LIFE or two... I feel that the building blocks of my life we being broken down... only to be rebuilt - better, faster, stronger.

Nearly every day, I feel happy and sad. I feel strong and weak. And nearly every day, I feel that I'm on the brink of some brilliance, and I'm one step further away from the rut I was in for so long...

Whatchoo been up to, Willis?!

Yeah, I know, it's been AGES since I last blogged. Whatever could have been keeping me from blogging?

Work.

Yep, I said it.

Work.

I have been working for nearly four weeks now, and I have finally gotten into some sort of routine, which allows me to do stuff besides work and sleep.

That said, how about them Olympics?

Is Chad Hedrick an ass, or what? Did Bode Miller suck because he wasn't wasted? The Austrians were! The US hockey team has once again shown how lame they can be. Granted, I love a lot of those players, but come on, our hockey program can't suck THAT bad!

Speaking of suck... what's up with the Canadian hockey team? Did they forget how to play, or did Janet Gretzky bet against them?

Lots of stuff has been going on.

Our tai chi has been kicked up a notch. Sheryl and I have quickly become favorites of our instructors. It's probably because they yell at me so much. Thankfully, Sheryl was the one they yelled at today!!

So the job I have isn't exactly what I'm looking for, but it's something for now. It's a step forward, and although I did a lot of bitching about it at first, it could be a lot worse. For instance, I could be forced to watch figure skating 40 hours a week... or even 20 minutes...

Hopefully, as I continue my search for a job from Nirvana, I will have the time to blog a bit more.

Until then, may your life be filled with all great things...

Some haiku for you (so don't be blue... and tie your shoe)

Chew, chew, chew
Your eyes are so big
Stomach's not

#########

I smiled in your eyes
Reflecting my love for you
You smiled back in mine

########

Avoid disaster
Use your turn signal, you jerk
You won't see me rage

########

Tired, so sleepy
I must stop dreaming so hard
Eyes too tired to shut

#######

I write rhymes
Ain't pimpin' the words
Ho-etry

Sweet Home Ferndale

When I worked in Northville, MI, I was making enough money to buy my own place. Finally, "a place for all my stuff"! I had dreamed about having a place to call home for ten years prior to that.

My uncle recommended a real estate agent, and although I wanted to stay on the "west side", the agent took me around the Royal Oak/Ferndale/Madison Heights area. I looked at 5-7 houses when I decided on the one I eventually bought.

I live on the border of Ferndale and Hazel Park... one block from I-75 and a few blocks from I-696. Although the location is close to the freeways, I don't really get bothered with much noise.

The neighborhood is quiet - there is a park on the corner from my house. The neighborhood is safe - cops patrol the area regularly - there is a park on the corner from my house.

Ferndale is an awesome place to live. Often treated like the red-headed stepchild of Royal Oak, it has sprouted into a respected community.

There are areas that one can tell it's been settled for quite a while, yet there are many areas of new development.

Ferndale's "main street" has been evolving constantly for the last 10-15 years. The "cross roads" of 9 Mile and Woodward are nearly complete in their renovation. This area, which lies 2 miles from my house has become culturally diversified and a great yuppie hangout.

There are standard restaurants such as Maria's Back Room, but there are many other great places to eat within a mile of the 9 Mile and Woodward intersection.

Ferndale even as its' own microbrewery - Woodward Avenue Brewery - and a national act drawing concert theater in the Magic Bag. Yup, you guessed it, they are both within crawling distance of 9 Mile and Woodward.

Every winter, the city of Ferndale hosts the winter freeze blues festival - and this year, for the super bowl, they will have 50 bands performing over the course of 10 days.

Yep, Ferndale has been a great place to live. With lots of trees and parks, the city is just like the city you remember growing up in. Only different.

Why Should You Hire Me?

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about dream jobs. I love writing, I love coordinating and planning, I love the technical side of things, and I love coming up with ideas.

I always wanted a job where I could put posters on my office walls, sit on the couch in my office, and throw my "idea ball" against the wall while trying to sort out a tasty problem.

So far, that hasn't happened.

But today, while I was out for a walk, I started thinking about how much I enjoy writing. I decided that this blog was the best way for me to practice and hone my chops.

So my first project is based on the concept of an interview (It's a concept because I'm not frigging getting any!!!)... more particularly the question: Why should we hire you?

I should be hired for a number of reasons:

First, I am extremely dedicated to my work. The more I love the work I do, the more dedicated I am. I'm hungry. Hungry to prove myself - to you and me.

I love to set goals for myself in the workplace. If I say that I can get a project done in two weeks, I bust my butt to get it done in a week and a half.

I believe in earning my money. With me, you don't pay for cigarette breaks. You don't pay for water cooler chit chat. You don't pay for extended lunches.

In return for that paycheck, you will receive an employee who masters tasks quickly and completely. In fact, if I have a fault, it's that I often refuse to ask for help. Not only do I want to try and figure things out for myself, but I also feel that bugging a manager is wasting corporate money.

If I do have a problem and have to see the manager, I try to have a couple of options on hand for how to resolve the problem. To me, that shows that I am working to be part of the solution - not part of the problem.

My dad was a workaholic. I saw it kill him at 48 years old. I will not be a workaholic. However, I will do the job to the best of my potential. You will get 100% of me. Nothing less.

Although I don't like to chit chat at work, I do have great communication skills. My personality is engaging, and I have no problem relating to people of any rank within the corporation. I believe in communication. I believe that in order for a company to be successful, they need successful communication - both internally and externally.

In all of my jobs, I have been successful in the communications realm. Most notably, when I worked in Germany. Once my co-workers saw how passionate I was about immersing myself in the work and their culture, they bent over backwards to help me out - whether the issue was work related or not.

In another job, I threw myself into a project and ended up stepping on someone's toes. She got really bitchy to me and often complained to my boss about me. I didn't realize what was going on until a co-worker mentioned it to me. As the toe-stepping was completely unintentional, I had to figure out a way to resolve the situation.

Although she had already tainted a lot of my co-workers with her complaints, my co-workers and boss chose not to step in between us. They knew that both of us were actually right, and we were getting things accomplished despite the situation.

One day I decided to take her out to lunch - to get away from the job and stand on neutral ground. Once we began talking about the issue in a non-threatening environment, we quickly and easily resolved the issue.

So, as you can see... I am passionate about my work and am willing to think creatively to resolve problems. I immerse myslf in my job and earn my pay. I have a lot of ideas and enjoy communicating them.

I would be a huge asset to your company - as I have for every other company I worked for. None of them wanted to get rid of me. Circumstances dictated my leaving in every case.

So the question now becomes: Why wouldn't you want to hire me?

Old is new is old is new again...

With gadgetry changing so quickly these days, how do we put ourselves at the head of the curve?

I have recently been given some amazing information for newspaper/media jobs. After doing a little research, I realized how quickly things are changing in this world.

I was a communications major in college. There, I learned the rules for formatting and style. I learned that even though you were expected to use your imagination, you had to color inside the lines. That was in the late 1980's.

Nearly 20 years ago.

Today, I was reading about how to apply for a newspaper job. And there was still the formatting and style questions. The same ones that were asked 20 years ago.

So I began to wonder how newspapers could really stay in business. With CNN, MSN, the internet, PDAs and such, how many people actually read the newspaper these days?

As a result of this realization, I decided to blog instead. My blog has no rules, no lines to color inside, and no boxes to think within. I can be as creative as I want, I can say what I want, and I can potentially reach a larger audience than any newspaper.

Except I don't get paid for this, and for all I know, I have an audience of five people... or less.

So the question still remains... as a writer who doesn't like to color within the lines, and doesn't appreciate the sensationalism of Paris Hilton, or preying on people who just had something shitty happen to them... is there a future in writing in a print publication?

Maybe it's time to seriously start looking back into my old dream of travel writing...

Spiffy Smithing...

Tragically, magically
I saw it on TV
Drastically, spastically
I wondered, could it be?

Darkly, sparkly
The moon had turned blue
Mystically, statistically
I turned my thoughts to you

Purely, demurely
You burned in my mind
Lovely, above me
Magically inclined.

We are here
And we are now
It's just like this
And that is how

It will be
For time plus one
Because right now
This is done.

Being (Like) Ernest...

A sweet summer breeze gently blew through my window.
I sat, squinting in front of my laptop,
Looking for a word that rhymed with "silver".
I often wrote my own obituary,
It always had the same ending, but everything before it was different...

My favorite was the one where I lived the final 40 years of my life
In Ernest Hemingway's haunted mansion in Key West.
It always brought me visions of me and Ernie talking about how humorous it was to be famous.
Because, after all, to live in Ernie's mansion, I'd have to be famous, too.

Yes, it's a sick thing to write your own obituary,
But who else would appreciate the nuances of your life
More than you?

How do you know when you've achieved your lot in life?

When I wrote "Cancerboy", I felt like I accomplished the thing that I was meant to accomplish in my life. Since I am still alive, it's obvious that "Cancerboy" wasn't my sole purpose.

Tonight, I re-watched "What the Bleep Do We Know?" - a phenomenal movie about quantum physics - and it's got me in a rare mood.

This week was an interesting week. A friend of mine had an incredibly rough week - a beloved uncle died, followed by her grandmother. This friend and I had a disagreement the week before, and hardly spoke to each other since. Just last night I learned about the uncle dying, and I feel terrible.

It's things like these that help us realize what is important in life and what isn't. Is it more important to hold on to what you think is right at the moment, or to nurture your relationships?

We had a scare this week with my brother. He's still undergoing tests, so we're still not exactly sure what's going on with his body, but - again - it's times like this when you ask yourself if your concern is claustrophobic, too little or coincidental. Having gone through cancer, I know that it's always good to know that people are thinking about you, so that's the route I've decided to take.

Last night after we had a successful night at darts (12-3 for those scoring at home), Sheryl and I were watching "Most Haunted" on the Travel Channel (I LOVE that show!!) - when all of a sudden, there was a huge BOOM!! We freaked out, immediately hoping nothing happened to my house, garage, or the neighbors.

I checked outside, seeing nothing. My neighbor appeared, checking things out as well. I was pissing cold rain, and neither one of us saw any damage. So we went out to the back yards, where I noticed a plume of smoke in the near distance. My neighbor said he was going to try and find where it was coming from, and I invited myself along. Soon enough, we found the culprit - as did the cops and firemen - a garage in our neighborhood had exploded and was on fire. I just hope no one got hurt...

So if there is anything to learn about this week, perhaps it's to be true to yourself... particularly when it comes to loving one another.

And to not blow ourselves up.

The future is ours to create, so let's make it better than good, okay?

We drank Irish coffee to keep the cold outside.
Bundled to our noses in our blankets,
We sat on the couch, sharing stories of our youth -
When we were young,
When we were indestructible,
When we had the world by the balls.

The phone ringer was off
The doorbell disconected
The only distraction was the tasty jolt of caffeine.

I met her at the Church of Barmixology -
She experienced the magnificent enlightenment of absinthe
While I extolled the praises of tequila.

That night, I later found out, we both worshipped the porcelain god on different ends of the street.

And here we were, weeks later, listening to Bob Dylan on vinyl.
Each pop, each scratch, prodding memories -
Memories to share.
Memories to hear.
Memories to make.

She left at 2pm as the sun appeared and warmed the house,
Melting snow from the roof, dripping from icicles.
As she stepped out the door to walk the six driveways to her house,
I felt as if we were on the verge of something amazing.

I just got off the phone with her -
I finally got up the nerve to ask her out.
She agreed, telling me that the other day,
As she stepped out the door to walk the six driveways to her house,
She felt as if we were on the verge of something amazing.

Feisty...

Although my credit score is crashing faster than stocks on Black Friday, I'm feeling kinda feisty today.

I've arranged for two interviews on Monday and a couple of others seem to be just below the horizon, on their way up. Could it be - Good things coming my way?!?! Whoo-hoo!

As such, I thought I'd pass along some of the music I've been trying to catch up on lately. During my walks, I've been listening to Tao te Ching (as I mentioned before) and The Art of War (GW obviously spent too much time partying and not enough time reading!). That's fine and dandy, but I can't get enough of my iPod and am always looking for new tunes.

My favorite newly discovered music by far is Goldfrapp. Allison Goldfrapp's music is cutting edge electronica mixed with her beautiful voice, wrapped up in a catchy tune. Ah, but don't get fooled. The catchy electronic stuff is contained in her last two albums - Black Cherry and Supernature . She has another album called Felt Mountain , which contains mostly vocal acrobatics drifting across less appealing music.

Alec Empire has released a couple of hardcore DJ/electronic CDs in the vein of old, old Nine Inch Nails. While NIN has lost their bite, Alec has definitely sharpened his.

Today, I am giving The Campfire Headphase by the Boards of Canada a try. So far, it seems pretty cool in a lazy dreamy rainy day sort of way. Speaking of dreams, Sheryl and I will be selling DVDs of the dreams I've had this week. You know, the ones where we met Lance Armstrong, the President of the Czech Republic and Jerome (The Bus) Bettis...

I digress... anyway, other music I will be giving a listen to in the near future: Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!, Spoon's "Gimme Fiction", Electric Six' "Senor Smoke" (includes a cover of Queen's Radio GaGa) and the Strokes' "First Impressions of Earth".

I used to rely on Detroit's public radio station, WDET, for new music worth listening to. However, they f'ed up the programming, and none of those new music shows are available as they were for the last 20 years or so. Now I know why those classical music purists whined so much when the clasic radio station here went kaput.

Don't get me wrong, I think that we need more groups out there that sound like Pearl Jam and Nickelback. We need more boy bands and sugar pop music. We need more rappers talking up the bling bling. After all, without all those unoriginal wannabe's, we can be manipulated easier. Who needs to think? Who needs creativity?

Come to think of it, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain... or the new music I mentioned. Let's just grab a Happy Meal at McDonald's and play with our free plastic Disney movie toys.

I warned you that I was feeling feisty!

One of these days, it'll all make perfect sense...

True - so far - to one of my 2006 goals, I've been on the move... working out, walking and starting some tai chi.

I've actually been doing tai chi on and off for about 10 years - but I learned from a video, and I was interested to see how "real" training occurs. So the opportunity became available, and Sheryl and I jumped. Not literally, mind you.

Yesterday's first class showed us essentially one move, and already it is different from the version I learned on video. The class we're taking for the next two months will take us through the first 16 moves... the first 16 of 103...

For years I've been incorporating Eastern philosophies into my Catholic upbringing. I have studied different beliefs in order to better understand the world and people in general.

So for my walks, I've downloaded a couple of books for my iPod. Yesterday, ironically, I finished the first book - The Tao te Ching, a classic book on taoism... which is generally practiced by those who perform tai chi.

After listening to the Tao te Ching for the first time, though, I wasn't sure about my original belief of Taoism - that the potentiality of "the uncarved block" was all it was cracked up to be.

In fact, I think I even muttered out loud - "huh??"

It's obvious that I'll have to give it another listen. Next on the listening list, though, is Sun-Tzu's "Art of War".

Gotta Love George...

Today I was leafing through the Eastern Michigan University alumni magazine - it's something I don't spend much time on. It seems that just because I busted my ass and graduated from there, that I should feel priviledged to give them some money. Let's not forget the more than $20,000 I already gave them, which has led to my spectacular meteoric rise and equally meteoric fall in the job market. Let's not forget that when I released "Cancerboy", I e-mailed the alumni association to see if they could help me advertise the book around campus. Their response?

There was no response!

Anyhow, I shouldn't be too harsh on my alma mater. After all, today they gave me a rush - a rush of well-being and happiness.

On page 18 of the alumni mag, was a picture of one of the most amazing and influential men in my life - George Clark.

George was my accounting professor. He helped me learn a subject I cared nothing about. In fact, he made me LOVE a subject I cared nothing about.

As his student, I would visit George during office hours and we would talk about life. We would talk about success and effort. We would talk about philosophy and problem resolution.

After I graduated - no doubt as a result of George's influence, George and I remained friends. When I got involved with corporate training, George and I would meet for lunch and end up discussing educational tools and ways to mess with our students' minds. We had a lot of fun talking with each other.

George passed away in 1999. The last time I saw him, he helped me decide to participate in the 2000 Alaska AIDS Vaccine Ride. I was scared to death of the ride, but George exuded confidence and pride in me. I knew I had to sign up.

George and my step-dad Duane died within a couple of weeks of each other. I loved both of them immensely - and still do.

The tough times I am going through right now - being without a job and all - are really wearing me down. Through experience, I know that I just have to continue rolling with the punches, and that even a blind pig finds a truffle now and again... But it was seeing George's face on page 18 of the EMU alumni magazine that truly gave me a lift.

George, I love you, man... and I miss your knowledge, your insight and your friendship terribly. Thanks for reminding me that you're around and looking after me.

New Year, New Altitude...

Happy new year, everyone! I hope the holidays were amazing, and everyone has kept their new year's resolutions so far!

A long time ago, I stopped making new year's resolutions. Instead, I come up with new year's goals. I am excited about the potential of 2006. During the holidays, I finally came to the realization that I've been feeling like a victim of the shitty luck I've had in my life, and nothing helped point that out more than "Cancerboy". Although "Cancerboy" has been an extraordinary source of satisfaction, it also shoved some things into the spotlight that I didn't expect would still affect me so profoundly.

And altough cancer has given me the amazing gift of perspective, I feel like I've been a bit out of whack since my diagnosis and treatment.

The beautiful thing is that 2005 brought me Sheryl, who has both knowingly and unknowingly helped me identify and understand these things and regain a sense of balance.

As such, I am snarling, showing teeth and prepared to take 2006 and make it my own.

The first step, of course, is getting another job. I need to position myself for success, and although I'm still trying to figure out how exactly to do that, I've put the concept in motion by becoming aware of it - and reminding myself about it every day.

What else am I shooting for in 2006? Planning a successful charity bike ride to raise money for Gilda's Club. In order to do this, I need to get myself back into shape as well. After all, if I am lucky, I will turn 40 years old in 2006. Over the holidays, my brother Dean said that after 40, the body goes downhill fast. If that is true, I want to have my body in the best position to go downhill. This was also my attitude going into chemotherapy, and that apparently did me good.

These are my immediate goals for 2006 (I've also got dart goals, but I won't bore you with them!). The nice thing with goals is that you can add to them as the year goes on. I don't like standing still, so you can imagine that I will be constantly dreaming up new ways to throw my life upside down!

And so everyone, I wish you peace, health and happiness in 2006. May you attain all of your goals and all of your dreams...